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I am going to cancel my holiday - friends think I am silly.

180 replies

Willowcosmos · 29/07/2026 00:10

I had the most wonderful friend since schooldays sadly she died suddenly. I saw her every week and I will miss her so much. Her elderly father has arranged the funeral - he did it in a rush without consulting her siblings and friends. It is right in the middle of the week I am on a solo coach trip to Portugal
I have made the decision to go to the funeral- I can’t bear the thought of not being there and I just wouldn’t enjoy the trip.
My other friends think I am crazy - they say I will lose all my money as insurance won’t cover it ( about £800) and that my friend would want me to go and that it’s just for a few hours and what’s the point …but I know it’s what I really want - I am not religious - I know my friend won’t know but just deep down - I want to be there -
I guess what most people will think but would anyone do the same.

OP posts:
Gentlydoesit2 · 29/07/2026 20:34

So sorry for your loss. Trust your gut and don't listen to your "friends"

Hotcurrent · 29/07/2026 20:37

Missdiva · 29/07/2026 20:31

I think he appreciated me there. We weren’t close because of my grandmother. As a child he would visit us in secret behind her back.
she never acknowledged us as my fathers children (only ever interested in my cousins, my aunties children) both my dad and my auntie committed suicide when I was a child (my dad when I was 14months, my auntie when I was 5) my mum tried to maintain our relationship but she was vile to us all- including my cousins if they tried to talk to us. So my mum removed us from it all, my grandad would always come in secret, and she’d always let him in. She was estranged from her own mother and siblings all of which we remained in contact with. so I think I went for him, but our relationship was not recoverable. I hear he’s happy and traveling something imhe couldn’t do because of her. So that brings me peace.
i rearranged it by a day. We cut our loses on the cheap flights, booked some more, and the hotel were very kind and altered our booking. We missed 1 of our 3 day adventures around Barcelona prior to boarding a cruise. My husband supported my decision to do this because he understands me and my desire to find peace in my life

Unfathomable for what sounds like a quite awful woman with whom you had no contact with. No one in your family even told you an about her passing. Not your grandfather.
In your shoes I’d have written to your grandad and said that I would love to take him out for a coffee and cake and see him.

but… each to their own

MyrtleLion · 29/07/2026 20:42

My best friend died earlier this year. Very sudden. Natural causes.

I was devastated.

It was only at the funeral, among strangers in fact, that I could grieve.

SandyHappyPerson · 29/07/2026 20:42

deepseaargyllfish · 29/07/2026 11:31

I know. I should have cancelled. I did make it very clear to her that if she really needed and wanted me there, then I’d be there. But she suggested I go on the holiday. Her family are extremely well connected and well supported by an extensive and wide range of people. If they’d been isolated, with few mourners, i would definitely have cancelled, but it was standing room only in the crematorium. It was very well attended. Rightly or wrongly, this influenced my decision.

If it had been reversed, I’d have said, ‘please, if you can manage it, can you be there? I really need you’, but that isn’t what she said.

Even so, you’re right. I should have gone. It can’t be salvaged now, so it’s another loss to the increasing tally.

It's not that you should have cancelled, but that you absolutely shouldn't have put the "decision" about your holiday on her shoulders, when you had already decided what you were doing.

I did make it very clear to her that if she really needed and wanted me there, then I’d be there.

By saying that, you inferred that this holiday was optional to you ("if she said the word you'd cancel it"), but if it really was optional, as a good friend, if you wanted to be there for her you would have cancelled/changed it without even telling her. So she knows full well that you don't want to cancel it, you wanted to be on that holiday, not at the funeral, you knew it, she knew it, so it was pointless pretending otherwise.

Like when a husband says to his wife, I've arranged to go to the pub with my mates all day tomorrow, but I'll stay home with you if you "really want me to"... it's a form of emotional blackmail/guilt tripping to ensure they get to carry out their (already decided) plans guilt free. Anyone agreeing to it isn't doing it because it's what they want though, they acquiescence because saying no makes them feel like the bad guy, so the asker virtually guarantees the result they want by doing it this way.. it does leave a sour taste being the person on the receiving end of that though.

You had other very valid reasons for not wanting to lose that holiday and to be honest that should have been enough to give your apologies for not being able to attend, I would like to think your friend would have understood if given the chance.

Maybe you could contact her at some point and offer your regrets at putting her in an unfair position at a difficult time, and see if it leads anywhere?

Lisheenss · 29/07/2026 21:16

@deepseaargyllfish i think the posts are very tough.
Your husband died so suddenly, i cannot imagine the shock and grief you were going through.
This woman has been very unforgiving.
I cannot imagine judging my friends whom have lost husbands so harshly, and I certainly couldn't imagine mybfriends being so unforgiving.

I have a few friends whom have lost a spouse and it really is a devastating loss.

@deepseaargyllfish Please be kind to yourself.
You really do not deserve this additionally burden of grief and guilt.

deepseaargyllfish · 29/07/2026 21:48

Lisheenss · 29/07/2026 21:16

@deepseaargyllfish i think the posts are very tough.
Your husband died so suddenly, i cannot imagine the shock and grief you were going through.
This woman has been very unforgiving.
I cannot imagine judging my friends whom have lost husbands so harshly, and I certainly couldn't imagine mybfriends being so unforgiving.

I have a few friends whom have lost a spouse and it really is a devastating loss.

@deepseaargyllfish Please be kind to yourself.
You really do not deserve this additionally burden of grief and guilt.

That is very very kind and exactly what I needed to read in this particular moment, you have made me cry. It was a devastating loss that I’ll never recover from. Life will never be as good again.

abbynabby23 · 29/07/2026 22:17

Willowcosmos · 29/07/2026 00:10

I had the most wonderful friend since schooldays sadly she died suddenly. I saw her every week and I will miss her so much. Her elderly father has arranged the funeral - he did it in a rush without consulting her siblings and friends. It is right in the middle of the week I am on a solo coach trip to Portugal
I have made the decision to go to the funeral- I can’t bear the thought of not being there and I just wouldn’t enjoy the trip.
My other friends think I am crazy - they say I will lose all my money as insurance won’t cover it ( about £800) and that my friend would want me to go and that it’s just for a few hours and what’s the point …but I know it’s what I really want - I am not religious - I know my friend won’t know but just deep down - I want to be there -
I guess what most people will think but would anyone do the same.

Your friends are crazy to honest. Of course you will be to the funeral if you were a close friend. I am not sure how they think you can go and have fun while a funeral of someone you loved is happening. Not everything is about money.

Spacedsunshine1 · 29/07/2026 22:41

I am so sorry for your loss. If you want to go to your friend's funeral then you have every right to do so, it is your choice, not anyone else's. You can go to Portugal another time x

Minasama · 29/07/2026 22:45

You know what you want to do - there’s no reason to second-guess your gut. Your friends are not you and don’t feel the same way you feel.
For everyone who says the dead person won’t know either way, this misses the point that funerals are for the living- it will be a great comfort to the OP to be with her friend’s family who also cared so much about her, and for the family that she is there.

Manthide · 29/07/2026 22:52

My great aunt died at the beginning of 2025 at the age of 87. She was a real character and loved a good party. We didn't live close but we kept in contact and always popped in if we were near. Her son told us she wasn't having a funeral (my aunty was very religious) and that he'd arrange a celebration of life instead. Months later he shared a photo of him scattering her ashes with his dc and dgc. We still feel we haven't said a proper goodbye to a wonderful lady.

Carrie516 · 29/07/2026 23:29

Willowcosmos · 29/07/2026 00:10

I had the most wonderful friend since schooldays sadly she died suddenly. I saw her every week and I will miss her so much. Her elderly father has arranged the funeral - he did it in a rush without consulting her siblings and friends. It is right in the middle of the week I am on a solo coach trip to Portugal
I have made the decision to go to the funeral- I can’t bear the thought of not being there and I just wouldn’t enjoy the trip.
My other friends think I am crazy - they say I will lose all my money as insurance won’t cover it ( about £800) and that my friend would want me to go and that it’s just for a few hours and what’s the point …but I know it’s what I really want - I am not religious - I know my friend won’t know but just deep down - I want to be there -
I guess what most people will think but would anyone do the same.

My ex boyfriend died very suddenly. I was so devastated, it was a large funeral as he was very well liked. I regret going to the funeral. Im not saying you will. But I just felt no one else was as upset as me, I could barely function, and it was almost like some people used it as an opportunity to socialise. I had to leave the wake, as I couldn't relate to the atmosphere. But I know my dear ex would not have minded if I had not gone. I still think of him everyday, 22.5 years later. They're in your heart, not in a church.

LiuBei · Yesterday 01:09

I'm sorry for your loss. My mother missed her best friends funeral, and 30 years later she regrets it a lot. I think you're making the right call.

Lilactimes · Yesterday 09:36

Dear @Willowcosmos - i am so sorry for your loss. I think you should do what you want to do. Funerals can be cathartic and I would want to go to my friend's funeral.
Portugal can happen another time if you want it to. Perhaps you could talk directly to the operator and see if they will push it back for you? Or join the second half?

again - am really sorry for your loss x

Willowcosmos · Yesterday 14:14

I just wanted to thank everyone for their kind comments.
i am going to my wonderful friends funeral - i know i would regret it for ever if I wasn’t there - i need to say a proper good bye and funerals to me really are a part of that.
The holiday was paid for last year so the moneys gone and I don’t care - the funeral in the middle of the trip socan’t really go or come back between which I really wouldn’t want to do.
My real friends understand - the friends who said I was silly are more work colleagues who aren’t lucky like me to have the same sort of friendship.
i feel so at peace with it all…….Portugal isn’t going anywhere anyway!

OP posts:
pottylolly · Yesterday 14:22

What I’d suggest is you go to the doctor and get your grief documented officially as affecting your health — he or she can write a letter to your insurer and your trip may be refunded / part refunded

Carrie516 · Yesterday 14:32

I just wasn't in that place, he was 39 and had 4 lovely kids who were mostly too young to understand what was happening, thankfully. I've been to many funerals were it was a chance to reminisce, but they weren't people I was deeply in love with.

Airtrack · Yesterday 17:36

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Airtrack · Yesterday 17:38

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Carrie516 · Yesterday 18:25

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@Airtrack he was 39 with 4 young children, probably different circumstances! I have been to many funerals and welcomed the opportunity to reminisce, but this time, I was absolutely crushed, and really not in the mood!

Airtrack · Yesterday 18:27

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Carrie516 · Yesterday 18:29

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@Airtrack I'm not even going to dignify that vile disgusting comment with a response. You know nothing about my relationship with him.

Airtrack · Yesterday 18:31

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Carrie516 · Yesterday 18:35

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BeKhakiReader · Yesterday 18:35

I’m glad you’ve made your decision OP. I don’t think you will regret it. Very sorry for your loss xx

Airtrack · Yesterday 18:37

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