Engagement rings - "classic" or not?

[Cheeseandolivesplease]

I was talking to my husband tonight about engagement rings. He said that "most" women prefer the classic style of a solitare, or at least a solitare-like setting synonymous with a traditional engagement.
He said I was a (in a kindly teasing way) a "nightmare" as I insisted nothing would displease me more than a classic ring "similar to that of most other women" - hence why I chose my ring myself (tbh he was correct!!)
But it got me thinking - do "most" women really opt for this classic style?
Subsequent to that, I also pleasantly surprised him with retaining my Ms MyName and having a home birth, but I do like to do "me"! 😀

When I got engaged I was in your camp. Didn't want a 'boring' classic solitaire, wanted something more unusual and to my mind at least, trend setting. Which is all well and good but in 15 years time it's going to look dated. A simple solitaire or any very plain ring like a trilogy (one bigger diamond in the centre with two slightly smaller ones either side) will no embellishment on the shoulders, nothing 'of the moment' about it, is never going to date. It's not going to get people oohing and aahing either, unless it's an absolute rock but that's easy since lab grown diamonds became a thing. But fancy sets and unusual cuts and combinations will ALWAYS date eventually.

Yes dear, you're not like other girls, we get it. Well done. Most of my friends have non-traditional or no engagement ring and kept their names. Home births are not the rarity you'd like to think either. But if it makes you feel quirky and unique then good for you.

@ForeverNowWithin Treat yourself to a new one if you fancy a change down the line? I like that idea!

are you emigrating somewhere a UK marriage is not recognised?? Where is that?

I emigrated after I married.

@Pallisers Quite a number of countries don't recognise civil partnerships whatsoever.

People like traditional engagement rings because getting married is, itself, inherently traditional. I think it's about placing yourself in that line of tradition. Big fat sparkly rock, floofy white dress, church wedding even if you're not religious, etc - they all take on more significance in that it's you doing it this time, if that makes sense? Although obviously people do it to a greater or lesser degree.

My DH chose my engagement ring 9 years ago, and I absolutely love it. It's a Swiss blue topaz with three little diamonds on each side. The blue is my favourite colour, and looks really good on me when I wear it, so he was spot on with his choice. Wasn't massively expensive (think hundreds not thousands), but that was where we were in our careers at the time.

Lots of my friends have a coloured stone surrounded by diamonds. I think Kate Middleton's sapphire ring might have started the trend away from solitaire diamonds. It's definitely not that unusual, or wasn't unusual a decade ago, anyway.

Home birth - as in singular? But you have 2 DC? So you had a hospital birth for one of your DC?

I like simpler jewellery, and a lot of more unusual rings are a bit fussy for my taste. The "Princess Dianna" style coloured stone with a circle of diamonds isnt really my taste either - to me its a bit '80's Argos... which is ridiculous given its likely value!
So a not-excessively-big solitaire (not necessarily an uncoloured diamond) would be my choice, and I dont care how commonplace a choice it is. Probably a single blue saphire in platinum actually...

I think that most rings look nice and as long as the person wearing it is happy then why worry?

I've never been married and always kept my own name. Not sure whether that makes me edgy, I do have children and support them financially through my own career. Happy for other women to enjoy their diamond solitaires though, they are often quite pretty.

I’ve got 3 though I’ve had just the one husband. The first was a ruby with 3 small diamonds each side, the second was a princess cut diamond on a plain gold band which seemed very modern and different at the time (1990) and the most recent is an oval central diamond with a trillion cut diamond either side. I love them all and wear them in rotation.

I couldn’t find an engagement ring I liked.
We got matching wedding bands fairly thick white gold with a rose gold band in the middle. A K size for me and X for him and inscribed with a thing that only the two of us know about.
I kept my name - why would I change it? He surprised me by converting his surname to mine.

Well you were being a sheep in having an engagement ring in the first place.
😂

Id say majority of people have classic style engagement rings either single stone, 3 stone or cluster, although id say a halo cluster is more popular than a traditional one. Styles do change over time but I think single stone is probably still the most usual.
Im a jeweller so I see whats on order. Ive made or seen, some unusual ones but majority are a standard type. Another consideration is how they sit with a wedding band as well. With the popularity of lab grown diamonds, then people can generally get a bigger stone so its becoming more normal to see 1ct + which wasnt the case eg 10 years ago.

@istherereallytimeforallthat Well we both did so not really...

@Crunchymum I have 3. First child -homebirth is statistically riskier than hospital so hospital it was. Second child I was married to the same controller who pushed me into hospital birth (and I was too naive at the time to argue), third was purely my choice with a supportive husband and was incomparable.

sorry thought you said marriage. my apologies.

I know someone who got a grand piano as her "engagement ring"

I do see your point. Our wedding contained none of those traditions - certainly none of the patriarchal ones such as my dad giving me away, men-only speeches, throwing of bouquet, name and title change etc.

@Pallisers A civil partnership is not a marriage.

You avoided patriarchal traditions in your wedding but married a man who claims to know what “most women” like in an engagement ring. Interesting.

@Guacattack Well out of his office of about 100 there are only 2 men so he has a good idea tbf.
Even a jeweller on here has confirmed re the classic ring style!

No I dont like them. It has nothing to do with being "edgy"- I just think they are boring, bland, and generic. Literally everyone I know has the exact same one and I dont get it- it would be weird as hell if everyone wore the same outfit all the time so why is this any different?

I went for solitaire because I think it looks much better than any ‘different’ engagement ring I’ve seen. Honestly the more unique / edgy the uglier (IMO!). I went with what I found most aesthetically pleasing. If that makes me a sheep then so be it 😃

Not going to change my name but that’s because I hate admin and want to keep it to a minimum in my life. Fuck getting a new passport, drivers license and whatever else. What a waste of time.

I’m not a fan of solitaire engagement rings and if I’d had any input into choosing an engagement ring then I wouldn’t choose one of that style.

However, i think for a lot of men who buy engagement rings that design usually is the “classic” style of engagement ring they opt for……. I guess down to stereotypes or myths? (The idea of a man down on one knew with the open box in his hand with a huge solitaire diamond beaming up etc etc)

I think having that “classic” style can make it easier for some men as they may see it as meaning they don’t have to put as much thought into buying the ring i.e the only requisite is that there’s one diamond solitaire, and they don’t really have to consider that other ‘less obvious style rings’ may actually be much more to their partner’s taste.

I got the solitaire because I like them. I also changed my name after marriage. So I am conventional in that regard. But also I never get my nails done, I’m childfree, and I don’t enjoy travelling or watching Traitors. So in those senses I am unconventional.

I think everybody has some areas of life where you like what everyone else likes, and do what everyone else does, and in other areas you don’t. I don’t think anyone completely follows the crowd or completely goes against it.

@ScaredButUnavoidable I agree with you. The simple solution to that is for the wearer to choose the ring themselves?