Engagement rings - "classic" or not?

[Cheeseandolivesplease]

I was talking to my husband tonight about engagement rings. He said that "most" women prefer the classic style of a solitare, or at least a solitare-like setting synonymous with a traditional engagement.
He said I was a (in a kindly teasing way) a "nightmare" as I insisted nothing would displease me more than a classic ring "similar to that of most other women" - hence why I chose my ring myself (tbh he was correct!!)
But it got me thinking - do "most" women really opt for this classic style?
Subsequent to that, I also pleasantly surprised him with retaining my Ms MyName and having a home birth, but I do like to do "me"! 😀

I'm not posting my ring because that would obviously be outing and also, I couldn't care what anyone else thinks of it!
I just don't get the "following the crowd" thing at all. Why would anyone want a ring similar in style to so many other women?
Just my own personal opinion of course.
@CurlewKate Well your prediction about me being at the school gates in 7-10 yrs time is so far off the mark it's hilarious - my kids are already 19 and 16!!! 🤣
@OneNewEagle Totally disagree. How many married women in the UK still assume the title of Mrs (just one example)?

@OneNewEagle I chose my own as I ultimately I wanted one I loved. My husband, to his admittance, wouldn't have had a clue. He knew me well enough not to go traditional, but that leaves pretty every other option open.

@Davros What makes you like a "big bastard" ring?
Is it practical to wear every day?

Didn’t bother with one
I think when very young you like the fairytale image of a solitaire

@Cheeseandolivesplease you don't deserve the bitchy comments you're getting. Must be the heat or something.

I agree with you on solitaires; I wouldn't one, I wanted something a bit different with a coloured stone but still in a classic style.

I also had a home birth, 28 years ago, but I did change my name on marriage. I'm not a Mrs though, definitely a Ms.

I assume you had a home birth because you were at low risk of needing intervention
Good for you
But birth can be risky for many ressons
Nothing to do with you doing you...

@x2boys I disagree. Most women opt for a hospital birth even if their pregnancy is deemed low risk.

I didn't bother with an engagement ring at all

@DramaAlpaca I think some of it is to do with the fact that psychologically, people tend to feel more comfortable with others that follow the general crowd. Differences aren't always embraced.

What counts as a solitaire ring? I’ve a sapphire centre stone in an oval shape with diamonds around it. I assumed this was still a ‘classic’ ?

Oh and kept name, but haven't given birth. Would have gone for a hospital birth with all the drugs though!

Right 🙄🙄

@x2boys You seriously can't be disputing that fact?!!

No im just rolling my eyes at you
You seen very my way or the highway.

@x2boys I make zero apologies for not being a sheep.

Home birth is an unnecessary risk imo - it's not your birth, it's the baby's. If things go horribly wrong, then you are both more likely to survive in a hospital.

Im not sure that your examples make you that different to other women - unless you gave your children your last name, despite being married to their dad. That would make you buck the norm, I think.

I just don't get the "following the crowd" thing at all. Why would anyone want a ring similar in style to so many other women?

Because some people appreciate simple, quality design classics, whether that’s for jewellery, clothes, interiors or whatever. A simple solitaire ring is a design classic and people appreciate them precisely for their simplicity and tradition. People choose them for the same reason they choose Levi 501s instead of jeans in more distinctive shapes, or choose RayBan Wayfarers instead of whatever sunglasses shape is trendy each year.

Because some people simply choose what they happen to like, and simply aren’t insecure enough to give a shit whether someone else something similar. They’re not ‘following a crowd’. They’re choosing what they genuinely like rather than bending over backwards to be different.

Because styles that are popular tend to become popular for a good reason.

Because some people don’t want or need everyone to notice them.

I inherited a solitaire diamond 30 years ago so I wouldn’t want another. There must be an awful lot of them about given so so many people have one.

I dont really care.

Calling people ‘sheep’ because they’re secure in their own choices isn’t a good look.

If you really wanted to be unconventional you wouldn’t have an engagement ring at all.

@BauhausOfEliott But these decisions are not made in a vacuum. They don't just "happen" to want the same as most others.

I think you have to go and try on some rings to see what suits your hand. It really can surprise you.

For me my least favourite / most boring style engagement ring was always a round solitaire. After a few months of trying different styles, as soon as I tried on a round solitaire I knew it had to be one of those! Really surprised me

Go and try a few designs xx

@BauhausOfEliott There are often knock-ons to agreeing to do what most others do though. Take the Mrs HisName example.
Rings less so, but some other decisions? Absolutely the case.

I have a 1.75ct saphire, flanked by two 0.45ct diamonds in a mixed white and yellow gold setting on a yellow band. My wedding ring is a white gold band in the centre with yellow gold beaded edges. I've been married for 35 years and love it as much now as I did then.

My husband's only comments were "you'll want to chose it yourself, because you're fussy", "Do you want to go to more than one shop?, Aah you do the shopping, I'll do the paying". "Make sure it's bigger than x's".

Never take them off. After 10 years, joined by 7 stone half eternity totalling 0.85cts.

Mother had an oval sapphire circled by little diamonds for her first wedding and three diamonds for her third.

DIL has a large aquamarine with a diamond at each side, DD has >>>drumroll<<< a solitaire.

When I got married, most people had three stones or diamonds around an oval stone. People got more bang for their buck. I guess things are changing with the growth (excuse the pun) of lab grown diamonds.

And?

there seems to be an undercurrent that you think your choices make you a better person than anyone else?