Constipation- someone PLEASE help me

[HelpMeMelpHe]

I have been constipated for 7 days. That may not sound like a lot but I usually go 2/3 times a day without issue. I was away on holiday and ate crap food and basically survived on crisps and pizza as I was so hot I had no appetite.

I am currently lying on the bed in tears, I have tried:
orange juice
4 suppositories
3 x enemas
putting my feet up
relaxing
black coffee
a special vitamin tablet which DP says always makes him go
Drinking loads of water
pushing from inside my vagina
actually trying to manually remove the stool (sorry for the way TMI)
sitting in a warm bath
massaging my stomach
dulcolex

ill be ringing my GP first thing in the morning but can ANYONE suggest anything else. I’m in a total panic, I can just feel the rock hard stool, I’m in agony, shaking and it hurts to walk. To top it off I’m on my period which I hoped would get things going but nothing. Someone please help I am desperate and I’m worried my gp will just prescribe everything I’ve already tried. I’m a nurse and working all weekend and at this point I can’t see how I can go into work which would leave my team in the absolute shit (pardon the pun). I don’t know what to do 🫨🫨

She has said a couple of comments before yours she's been.😂😂😂

Sugar free chewing gum contains sorbitol and there is a warning on the packet, in an incredibly small font, that 'excessive consumption can cause diarrhea'.

I’ve never been happier about a stranger having a shit.

Hooray! It's a massive relief once you get moving again isn't it well done

Ive surprised myself at my level of investment in your bowels. Congratulations! Feel free to elaborate also.

I am delighted for you!

Brilliant!! How are you feeling? It might still be wise to take the day off to rest.

Time to review the diet! I think nurses are so taken up caring for others their own eating habits and health care can take low priority.

😂😂😂

Ah I’m thrilled for you!

An unnecessary put down, given that I was only trying to reassure you that you had no need to feel uncomfortable. Of course I don't think he has amnesia. Yet we're all in a day's work to them and not uppermost in their minds. Yrs ago I took DS to see a paediatrician. The consultant we saw was someone I recognised and vaguely knew, though I knew his wife better. Despite spending a considerable time with us and asking me numerous questions, he didn't remember having seen me when we met at church less than a week later. He asked my DS's name and it rang no bells, though with some difficulty he remembered the symptoms. They see so many people and often don't recognise them out of context. No individual is hugely significant. In any case he'll think nothing of it. Having him shove something up your bottom is a big thing to you, but not to him.

Wonderful. Congratulations fellow consto sufferer (to the point where it seems to have set like clay 🤭)
hapoy to celebrate your 💩 success 💩🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳💩❤️

I’m delighted to hear you’ve come through this. I do need a few more details though, size and consistency wise what are we talking?

Glad you managed to 'go'. I've been there, I think we all have at some point. Maybe invest in a decent bathroom step-stool. It certainly helped me out when I needed it most. Think squatty potty position, like they do in China and rural Japan. It certainly helps it to come out easier when you Squat with your knees up. Iykwim.

I hope we’ve provided some comfort through this ordeal. I for one am looking forward to HelpMe’s Constipation The Musical.

Mary Ploppins
Shat on a hot tin roof
The phantom of the opoora
Chicantgo
The sound of poosic
Me and my curl
The blocky horror picture show
Little plop of horrors
And the grand finale: Cabahooray

Try drinking olive oil (or presumably any other cooking oil) half a cup is good and if it's hard to get down add a very little vinegar and salt to make it a bit like salad dressing. Try not to sit on the loo straining. You'll feel seller if you move about. Good luck and hope you feel better soon

Great work 👏

Me too...

I've been there and I do not ignore it now, at the first HINT that things have ground to a halt (I have slow gut motility and a reduced ability to push) I am there with the bum-torpedos, 15 minutes of lying on my left side on the bed and then trot back to the loo for the poosplosion.

I have learned my lesson, the night I ended up crying, sat on the loo with my arse trying to eject something too big, too dry, and definitely not arsehole shaped, whilst on the phone to 111, as a nurse tried to explain without actually advising it, how my DP could aid in manual excavation of the monster turd..it is permanently etched in my memory.

For some of us, eating more fibre will only ever make matters significantly worse!

Phew

Well done OP.
It must have felt a great relief for you.
Another vote for Laxido plus lots as fluids

🤣 Was it all solid and you had to hack at it with a spoon?

Sorry I missed out all the gory details in my excitement to update. It was pure liquid, the laxido and the ducolex must have combined well enough to basically cause a tsunami out of my arse 🤣 Such a relief, I have no feelings of pressure at all and feel like a new woman. My stomach is making noises that I didn’t know were humanly possible so there’s still more to go but such a relief.

congratulations!
stay well

Congratulations! Such a relief! Have a great weekend 🍑

Congratulations OP!

Can totally emphasise and glad to hear you've had a movement, I literally ran here this morning to see if 'you'd had your baby yet!' 🤣

Maybe consider adding a 'maintenance dose' of something daily to stop it happening again - I used lactulose at the starting dose to get movement, now take a daily maintenance dose.

Have a happy, carefree (crapfree?) weekend x