What are the worst cafe crimes?

[TheLastSherbetLemonInTheJar]

Yes I know that running is a cafe is incredibly hard and many are struggling but I wondered what your cafe/restaurant pet peeves are?

Mine include having only white sugar for coffee and no brown. It’s amazing how often this happens even in very nice cafes so I bought some brown sugar sachets to keep in my bag.

Margarine instead of butter. Of course they should offer margarine but I expect to be able to have butter(Unless I’m in a vegan cafe)

Teapots that drip everywhere.

This doesn’t really affect me but I always feel sorry for people who have coeliac disease when the only cake option is a brownie.

And a particularly petty one. When they remove my favourite item from a menu. I know that they have to change it sometimes but it’s so annoying when you can no longer get something that you’ve been ordering and enjoying regularly.

What are your little cafe/restaurant annoyances?

When the coffee isn’t very hot

Not sure if this counts as a crime, but I really hate how difficult it is to find a coffee shop that doesn’t just do the espresso-based coffee drinks. I much prefer filter or cafetière, but it seems impossible unless you go to the wanky coffee shops that charge about £6 a cup and want to introduce you to every coffee bean personally.

But if I must have an espresso-based drink, I want one where the beans haven’t been roasted to within an inch of their lives on the assumption that everyone will have it loaded with milk and syrups.

The use of ordinary everyday bread is a pet peeve - I went out for breakfast recently & it was really disappointing to receive my bacon sandwich on sliced supermarket whole meal. I want something more upmarket when I’m not at home.
Not having black pepper.

Trendy cafes that don't butter toast. Mmm yes please I'll have my toast dry with nothing on.

I'd have walked out of that one. I can't be doing with faffing about scanning codes or downloading countless apps.
I always say "Can I order from a human please?"

Having non-baristas making the coffee. In one of my favourite cafes the manager used to jump in and help make coffees when it was busy. She's a lovely woman but her coffee was awful. In places where I'm a regular I check who's making the coffee and opt for an Earl Grey if I've had a bad one from that person before.

Those bloody awful metal teapots that pour the resulting peely wassy tea all over the table.

Omg my DH hates these, he says they can’t ever make the lattes properly hot enough because of the stupid handles. His pet peeve for sure.

No decent soft drinks. Just bog standard diet coke or full fat coke cans and being given a glass with no ice, lemon or straw to drink it from.

Crisp selections - everywhere is tyrells or similar in the same boring flavours.

Warm or even worse hot glasses to drink a cold drink from. A blank look when you ask for a glass that isn't hot.

Rock hard butter to try and spread on a scone.

Kids food bring presented boiling hot so you have to wait 5 minutes before a hungry child can eat.

Such simple things to get right and so many places just miss the mark.

Hard baked potatoes and/ or microwaved ones.

Only one vegetarian option or lumping us in with vegans.

Stingy portions. Especially tiny scones or slivers of cake.

Chips with skin on.

My DH raves about this all the time….he's a very mild mannered man but this gets his goat. He always asks for his extra hot to no avail ever.

when they don’t have macha! I’ve been to 3 different cafes the last week and they don’t have a supply. I think there’s a global shortage do to the recent trends 😀

my sis specifically asks for this she very specific about the strength of her tea and goes mad when they serve it with the tea bag in the pot. has been known to go back and get it rectified on more than one occasion 🤣

Nothing low carb on the menu. How difficult is it to serve a salad instead of a sandwich or baked potato?

Sticky menus and tables.

Toilets that are up (or down) flights of stairs.

Dirty toilets.

Cups and glasses that smell of dirty dishwashers.

Local Asda you pay over £3 for a coffee and then have to make it yourself using a cheap, unmonitored, uncleaned coffee machine after someone has grunted at you at the till. Wtf.

Putting a piece of cake or sandwich on the napkin. The napkin is unusable, and often sticks to the food!

When they don’t cover their food and it’s all piled up on display and there are flies everywhere 🤮 I understand people like to see what they might fancy to eat but you should maybe have one of the item on display and the rest under a net or glass dome. I won’t eat it if I’ve seen a bloody fly crawl across it.

This doesn’t bother me as dogs are often quiet … I do hate parents who let their kids run feral or don’t keep them relatively peaceful.

A few PP have mentioned weak tea. Tea Pigs are usually the culprit.

Being asked if I want milk in my Americano. An Americano, by its very definition, is black coffee!

Not getting a full cupful to make room for milk! Usually discover this after they’ve popped the lid on. I always check and ask for it “to the top please”.

Never being able to get brown sauce only Ketchup. I want my sodding HP please!

I don’t mind dogs in cafes but not on the furniture please. Costa, near me, says nothing to the offenders who allow their pooches to lie full length on the sofas probably after they’ve just taken a poop in the park next door. Thanks.

Agreed!

Margarine. Stop calling it butter. It's always in a massive tub and they spread it so thickly all over the undercooked 30p a loaf plastic toast.

Having greasy floors, tables, everything greasy.

Not changing the oil so it stinks.

Using really cheap awful sausages. And undercooking them.

Reheating bacon in a microwave.

Slimy soggy old tomatoes making limp sandwiches wet and inedible.

No toilets or really gross toilets down darkened dangerous staircases.

Luke warm weak coffee.

Charging for sauce sachets.

a few have been said all ready like dirty tables. not cleaning properly drives me wrong
how hard is it to clean toilets properly?
my husband goes mad when he ask for a large cup of coffee and the cup arrives half full. where is the rest of it he often says ? now gets around it by asking for a pot of boiling water to ensure that he gets a full cup 🤣
shitty hot chocolate - you are charging enough for it so don't use a large tub of Cadbury hot chocolate with hot water thrown in it
the little marshmallows are a waste of time it's meant to be made with large marshmallows so they melt in your hot chocolate- haven't forgiven costa for switching to vegan shite ones
butter stored in fridge it needs to be kept at room temp so you can spread it
serving cold items with a hot glass or Delph
seeing waitress with the tea towel thrown over their shoulder with their hair touching it

Being asked if I want milk in my Americano. An Americano, by its very definition, is black coffee!

And on similar lines, the cafes who assume you want milk in Earl Grey

Two things for me:

The first is not making it clear if you need to order at the counter, or whether it's table service. I don't know why some cafes think you should be a telepath. It isn't hard to put up a sign!

The other is giving you a massive pot of tea and a tiny jug of milk. Why oh why oh why.

This one is just me being unreasonable but huge loud, noisy coffee machines, hissing and banging, and absolutely nothing soft anywhere to dampen noise so every clatter and crash bounces. I miss the days when all the noise was kept behind a kitchen door.