Ye Olde Worlde Mumsnette

[Sharrilanda]

Share some historical MN dilemmas and stories.
What kind of posts do you think we would be reading if MN was around in the good old days of yore?

I thynke “oranges” be medicynal, although can be bitter. Thou should drynke a goodly portion for thy health.

Hast not heard tell of ystrange headach and bowel grumbles said to result from quaffing meere three ladels full of the Bailey potion?

Hey nonny, good sisters! I hath uncovered a crusty bottle of a bright yellowe brew from yesteryear. Mine husbande declare he shall maketh us all a festive drink called a Snowballe. Delicious or like quaffing fizzy custard?

Forsooth the yellow brew didst make me mighty unwell in my younger days, and I do believe that it is made of the unborn hens, and is verily Satan's own waters. For thine own sake, eschew your husband's ungodly plans.

Yet, reflecte on ye hungry months of January and February and ye Lenten days of penance to come, and give thanks for ye custarde, fizzing or not

Tell me, oh wyse ones, it being almoste ye Yuletide, am I too late to put ye nettles on to boile?

Tis rumoured that oraynges are grown by Moorish folk and Spaniards. No doubt they wouldst send an Armada next!. Tis a ploy methinks.

Tis almost time for my annual bath. Should I use Bayliss and Hardinge to perfume the waters?

I fear not any Armarda as I have seen Master Drake playing ye bowles on yonder Hoe. He seems not afeard.

Also, ye weatherwitch Kirkwoode sayeth the wind bloweth widdershins, which helpeth not ye Spaniards. I fear they may have to go via the wild lande of haggismen and Heather which would be a righte laugh!

Arrgh! Handeholde needed! Mine DH hath failed to book accommodation for our upcoming trippe to ye Judean hills! Am well up ye duffe (outing reason) and cannot divorce his ass as it doth be mine only transporte!

I bet he's invited lots of guests too.

Oh Mistress @choppolata thate is typical of A Man. Verily theye are the most uselesse of beings.

My advyce is to gette your ducks in a rowe and then LTB.

I would not want to be a gossipe, but I hath heard that she is no better than she oughteth to be, and that that the babe is not that of her husbande.

AIBU to aske them to turne ye angels down? Ye constante " hallelujahing" iste doing mine head inne.

Goode morning ye gentlewomen!
Tis a wondrous mirth, to read of thy deeds on thys threade that continueth to endure
🥰

Mistress @FuzzyPuffling Thou art NOT being unreasonable!

Verily, tell them to “Put a stockinge in it!” Or else they’ll findeth their halos be wrappeth around their angelic cakeholes 👼

Forsooth, mine camel hath a mind of it's own. Surely, this West Bromwich cannot be the place. And now, all the sticky myrhh doth leak from mine saddle bags. Buggereth.

@everywhichway

Art thou not following yonder star??

And where art thy mates, Mel and Cas? Doest they not haffe "shat nav" (follow traile of camel turd of others who haffe gone afore ye)

Speaketh not to me of those two shysters. I was enjoying mine McFalafel at yon Orient Services when I looketh about for them only to find they'd legged it across the dunes.

Just snarfed my coffee on my keyboard - Brilliant!

Mein lord and master will be away on crusade and will misseth the great festival. A mutual friend who maketh me all a flutter, hath offered to lieth with me on the great festival eve, so l will be comforted and not stressed. AIBU to say Aye!

NU at all Good Mistress Starlight. She be a lucky lady, if I read ye rightly ....enjoy thyself 😊

Dear Mistress @StarlightLady
Might thys be thy "Frynde With Benefits"
thou speaketh of?

This thread does make me weepeth with mirth.

AIBU to detest myne neighbours for breaking the Advent Fast to celebrate the season of Christmastide prematurely?
Tis but Twelve Nytes of Christmas, from Christmas Day to Epiphany, not a month!
December should be a time for fasting and prayer but they have lanterns galore, and glistening string, and have brought an evergreen bough into their dwelling place before even St Nicholas’ feast day.
WIBU to denounce their pagan ways?

Button thy lippe, Mistress @murasaki! I know naught of ye twain-backed beaste. Checke out the sheen on mine halo 😇 Altho verily 'tis not so bright as that poxy starre that hath kept me from slumber this past monthe.