Ye Olde Worlde Mumsnette

[Sharrilanda]

Share some historical MN dilemmas and stories.
What kind of posts do you think we would be reading if MN was around in the good old days of yore?

Verily, I thank thee. I do not intend to spend the next few years with my nethers encased in steel - the serving wenches will call me 'ironknickers' and laugh behind their hands.

Praise be! I’ve heardeth that if you are locked in for prlonged times, the magic button, she will shrinketh without regular exercise.

Prey ye, get unlocked sooneth.

Magic button?

Methinks the words be not taken cliterally.

🥳

Ye fair maidens of Mumsnette,
I doth thy bonnet and applaude thee for thou haffe verily amused me.

Mistress Ironknickers I do prayeth thou haffe founde release of the shackles of thy loins.

Most truly. Ye locksmith was, how shall we say, muchly obliging.

Did ye take the special offer of full service with entry and relocking at another date.

When a maiden friend suggesteth lube, l did not realiseth thet she meant WD40.

I heard tell ye locksmythe found the letters C and A engravéd on the article upon removal. The shoppe from which t'was purloined perchance? I cans't think of no other explanation.

Hah! Mine rotten husband swore that ye article was purchased from ye Harvey Nicks and was exclusive - the liar!

C and A? Well, mayhap he purchased it from ye purveyor of second hand goods, the doughty Squire Oxfam.

Sorry, Dame Demon, I woulds't take care. Mayhap hee purchased the John Lewes version for a trollop and became confuddled betwixt you both.

I woulds't get thy peacocks in a row and hence to the wisewoman for a truth spell.

Fairest Laydes, casteth thine eyes upon these wondrous items to cheereth up thy hovel.
They be perfecte for ye yuletide giftes for thine deareste, most belovedest husbande...

Thys here be a goode gifte for thine beste friende, I verily vouche she will praise thee heartily for thy goode taste in hovel and decor...

Lo!
If thou art feelinge industrious and thou art a crafty wench, thou coulde embroider thy owne tapestry for thine hovel.
Thys one I madeth earlier for myne owne husbande to ponder ...

I thank ye mightily

They are lovesome things Mistress @Sharrilanda and I dost think will cheer the unremitting grey of our castle. People say such a hue is fashionable, but I thinkest that fad hath passed and I knoweth not what to do, apart from tapestries, cushions and dyeing the rushes.

I would'st consider one as a Yuletide gifte for my DH, but hee ist desirous of a new battleaxe. He laughed much when he said that...

A Castle? Ooh, get thee!

Thy scoundrelous husbande doth not deserveth thee Mistress @Uricon2 for I hear tell thine husbande's new battleaxe goeth by the name of Hildegarde, who liveth down yonder Valley.
May I be so boldeth to suggeste thys moste perfecte and befitting for thy Castle decor.
In thy boudoir perhaps?

Thou madeth me titter heartily with thy witty riposte! 😂

I might be a simple serf but I fail to understand many men in these times.
Why would any man, be he a Lord or a peasant go to those crusades with that lying person who many call King Richard when he could lie with his comely wife in his bad at his home?
I fear that witches and warlocks have been used by the king to cast evil spells upon many men so they follow this king rather than loving their wives as they aught.

Bloody Hildegarde, I dost know it! Hee toldeth me he was at jousting practice.

Will neede more than chainmail whence I catch upe with hym!

@OldJohn We doeth not understandeth their choices either.
They calleth it a Pilgrimage but the Fair Maidens of Mumsnette knoweth it better as a 'Squires Jollye' or a 'Stag Weekende' , it dependeth whether thine Other Halfe be travelling to the faraway land known as Amsterdam or making his way along the oceans towards the Isle of Ibiza.
It doth not bodest well for thy future with such a wastrel.
Pray thee washe thy hands of him!

"Jousting practice" he was indeede Mistress @Uricon2 !
He telleth no falsehoodes to thee.
I suggeste thee hie thee down to Ye Olde Sexual Healthe Apothecary.
May his scrotum be riddled with bubonic wartes!

Thank ye most kindly Mistress Sharrilanda.

I be here all weeke. Seats available in all partes.