She has eaten him.

[TheLastTrainForTheCoast]

My rather splendid female spider has today eaten her mate.

I am a little sad, they have been sharing a web for the last couple of weeks, I was beginning to think they had a Understanding . But alas, today Mr spider is no more.

For reference they are not pets, rather squatters that inhabit my ceiling.

This thread has made my morning. Actually lol at ATB instead of LTB. Can I vote this thread to go in Classics please 😆

You win the thread! 😂😂😂

Probably he left for OS leaving a leg behind to make himself the victim.
OP, don't fall for his narrative.

ATB is fabulous!!!

I do hope she got all her flies in a row first.

Are you sure she ate him? He might just be under the patio.

🤣🤣🤣

I have laughed so much at ATB, Bruce the dickish spider, eating husbands and now flies in a row.

Absolutely hilarious 😂 😂

Brilliant! Thanks OP@TheLastTrainForTheCoast and @Marblessolveeverything for a great laugh this morning…

We had a spider “whodunnit” this morning in our house. We had a giant hairy spider and a small skinny one behind the sofa that looked completely different. I don’t think they were a couple but to be fair I never asked. For days I’ve been telling the kids that the big one is likely to eat the little one soon…

This morning we found the big one dead behind the sofa and trussed up in web. No sign of the little one…

Just be grateful you’re not a Spider Mum. Giving a “safe sex” talk to your son(s) must be very tricky…

Is this a thing? Female spiders eat their husbands when they’re done with them? Is it all spiders or just some of them? (I know I could google but I suspect that will pull up images of spiders and it’s too early in the morning for that).

Flies in a row 😂😂😂

Reply of the year 👏🏻

What a brilliant thread- cheered me up no end 😂

You'd like my cat. Very unfriendly, but loves eating house spiders, cobwebs and flies.

I do feed her (expensively & well), I promise. She is actually getting a bit podgy.

@Rabbitsandgerbils The skinny one will be a cellar spider. The big one a house spider. Cellar spiders eat house spiders so I let them stick around. Sounds like your skinny spider had a feast 😀

This thread has made me roar 🤣🤣🤣

Well really. I hope the OS is happy now! But maybe I'm being unfair. Perhaps he never told OS he was married and about to be the father of 200?

You certainly will!

I would start kitting tiny bonnets now if I were you.

Happy to send you ( and her ) a replacement.
We've got scores of them at the moment due to no ceilings in some rooms due to building work.

No just the OS's fault- He could CHOOSE not to be lured into her lair.

This thread just made my day!

We once had a nest of baby wasp spiders on our windowsill outside. DD was 4 at the time and out in the garden with us. She went up to them, and without stopping to ask us what they were, just poked them 😳 😂
The scream that came from her made me expect to see a severed limb or something, and ever since then she's been terrified of spiders. They were all over her, took a while to get them all off as she was flailing around hysterically 😬

I love my DP but I fear eating him would give me indigestion.

Can't decide which is worse - a male spider going through knowing their fate, being eaten (@TheLastTrainForTheCoast did she eat him alive or dead) or the female spider knowing that they'll have to murder and cannibalise their partner and then living with the ongoing guilt of having done so. (Do spiders feel guilt??)

Literally made me snort my coffee out of my nostrils! 😂😂 thanks for the Friday chuckle!

Classics! 🤣😂🤣

Thanks for this thread OP - is livening up a COVID filled day. Funniest thread since the Sistine Chapel. @mnhq can we put this thread in Classics?

That might result in the need for therapy. I’d imagine pretty much everything is out there if you look for it. And just remember, if you do, the police will check your search history. Covertness needed from the outset!