I'm scared

[Underthesea65]

I know there's no magical answer but I just need to get my thoughts out. Sorry. I'm terminally ill. I'm 38 with an amazing DH, one adult daughter and one nearly adult daughter (19 and 17). I've just spent three weeks in hospital getting blood transfusions and iron infusions and currently I head to the emergency day procedure every three days for more. I have scope tests amd another procedure next Sunday. I'm in agonising pain, even with the highest dose morphine. I can do nothing for myself. I can't stop crying. I know there's people in far worse positions than me but I'm just struggling so badly at the moment. I know this thread is completely pointless to everyone reading it, but I just needed to vent, sorry

I actually love that 🤣😂🤣 thank you

Good. Also I'm glad you slept a lot last night. You need rest. Use this space to vent as much as you need. Were all here for a hand hold x

Floofball Daisy

@Underthesea65 ach missus, it's so good to hear Ur doing better! I lie up and get treated like the queen that u are.🤗🤗🤗

@Tilllly@ , Ur wee dog is gorgeous!!

Lovely photos @Tilllly !!
@Underthesea65 I hope you are managing a gentle evening x

@Underthesea65 , hope that's what Ur doing today missus!! Just lyin up and chillin.🤭🤭🤭🤗🤗🤗

Having a really bad few days. Hope everyone is well xx

Sorry to hear that hen, is there anything we can do to help? X

@Underthesea65 anything you want to vent about? Here to listen x

Thank you. I'm just in so so much pain. And I'm honestly at the point where I just don't want to live like this anymore. It's no life. I'm absolutely miserable. Sorry

@Underthesea65 don't apologise. You can't help feel that way. Lifes hard but certainly more so in your situation. I feel for you! Have you managed to do anything this weekend? X

Thank you. absolutely nothing. Watched YouTube and ate chocolate lol. The rest of the time I've been sleeping mostly

@Underthesea65 that sounds like my kind of weekend to be fair! 😄

You've just got to do what you need to do sweet. Vent on here, sleep, relax, eat nice food etc x

@Underthesea65 what are you watching on YouTube? Can you make a calming playlist?

You sound like you need some distraction from the pain and some sense of safety within it all.

What is your favourite music? Maybe we can post you nice things to watch when you are able.

Chocolate sounds a good idea sweetheart!! Hope you are managing to rest xx

I love watching anything beauty related on YouTube. As for music, I'm pretty easy, love most things. My music play list is anything from Westlife to bonjovi to green day haha

I love YouTube, I never took to TV but YouTube suits my attention span!

This may amuse you @Underthesea65, I'm grateful if nothing else it wasn't where we live 😁

I took my wee lads for ice cream at place in Cheshire yesterday, super fancy for us and in the queue in front of us was a gorgeous young wee family with a baby, I asked as you do what baby's name was and wee autistic arse says in a voice I've not even heard him use before. "BABY POO FACE", they took it with good grace but I could have happily let the ground swallow me.
I'm glad he didn't swear, but bloody poo face?! My other ds next to us immediately told this couple, "Oh ignore him, he is awful because of his autism", which really wasn't the "helpful" information he thought it was.
So then my wee lad gets embarrassed, stuck his head into my chest to hide and the clumsy thing pulls my top down, handful of bra down and I think as well as having their gorgeous wee baba insulted, they were treated to at least half my nipple for a split second.

On the plus side, I did get some creme brulee flavour ice cream which I'd not get again, but it was decent.

There was also an amaretto flavour i wanted to try but I live in fear with even the smallest amount of booze I'll either become "party lauren" and she's a dickhead or I get horrid hang overs, so I steer way clear!

Also I love watching people tell stories and do make up, like get ready with me etc, do you like those things? I love people just chatting, I find it so soothing!

Get some chocolate in you hen 🥰

😂🤣😂🤣😂 oh god love you. You weren't having a great day. Although maybe they enjoyed the nip slip? Bit of excitement for a Sunday maybe? 🤔🤣😂🤣.
Yes I love watching people do their makeup and also, beauty declutters etc. makes me feel not just as bad about the huge collection I have come to amass lol

I think a nip slip is the most excitement Cheshire gets so I can live with that 😂

I love watching the weirdest shit on YouTube, anyone else the hoof GP or watching dirty rugs get cleaned? Or spots squeezed (🤢) I know, I'm a wrong un!
Failing that tho, cat videos! I love what wee shits cats are 😂

@Lwrenn I enjoy your stories about your son very much hes such a character! Do you not hate having to tell people he's autistic though?! My ds is autistic and currently non verbal so when strangers try and talk to him I hate having to say 'he's not being rude he's non verbal' I feel like I'm almost excusing his behaviour and it shouldn't be like that... how are you today op? X

I love pimple popping and the dirty rugs. Awh the pimple popping is so so good. Actually gonna go and watch some of that now, as my stomach is wild unsettled and it will actually help 😂🤣😂. I'm a wrong un too lol

Struggling with my stomach today. Being sick a lot, and have hospital all day tomorrow 😞

@Underthesea65 did you find out exactly what's wrong yet? And how they can treat you? Enjoy pimple popping!!! I saw one on a thread on here that was shared and it was awesome!

Ah pal, my wee lad wasn't verbal until 5, how old is yours?
It don't bring it up unless he's being really antisocial tbh 🙈 he looks like he "has something going on", so it's rare people don't click tbh. Had a few rude comments but nothing to get me put in jail yet 😂