Funniest lines from a sitcom

[Kingsleadhat]

Could do with a laugh at the moment, so I'm wondering what are people's favourite funny lines from a sitcom or film? Mine is from Victoria Wood's Dinnerladies : "Tony Blair. Stick two poems up in a bus shelter and call it a university! ". Cracks me up every time

Basil Fawlty to a picky guest complaining about an uninteresting view from her room.

"This is Torquay madam. What do you expect to see out of a Torquay hotel window? Sydney Opera House perhaps? The Hanging Gardens of Babylon? Herds of wildebeest sweeping majestically ....."

Also...

Trigger: "I'm gonna live it up a bit. Sandy beaches, few cocktails, watch the sunset"

Rodney: "oh sounds great Trig where you going?"

Trigger: "Ireland"

🤣

The Batman and robin scenes from Only Fools and Horses - especially where Rodney/Robin comes running through the mist, and when they burst into the funeral. I nearly stopped breathing laughing so much at that whole episode!

Derry girls: the father in law about the son in law "who put 50p in the eejit?" Always makes me laugh.

Too many lines from friends make me laugh.

My first thought was the bar pratfall from only fools and horses.

I love a good sitcom.

And this has just reminded me of the Vicar of Dibley when Geraldine steps in the puddle and disappears 😂😂🤣

Gavin and Stacey, Nessa: I picks up a bit on the island but that barely touches the sides.

The Royle Family
wafer thin ham

Dinner ladies when Bren's mother declares it's hard to cook placenta on a Baby Belling..
And when Stan takes her away on a cleaning cart and her mate asks if another one will be along to carry her...

The Young Ones, particularly Rik and how awful he (and everyone) is to Neil.
'I wouldn't even discuss the colour of orange juice with you, Neil.'

The Thick of It: ‘He’s gone glental’

W1A, where they’re trying and failing to fold up their Bromptons outside the office 😂

Frasier: there had been some sort of psychiatrist skiing trip and Frasier said 'you've never seen so many Freudians slip' crack me is every time.

The nose episode: 'everyone who knows you knows you're nosier...'

Friends: when Rachel bangs her head to convince Ben everyone has accidental bumps 'if it's not a headboard it's just not worth it'

The Thin Blue Line was not the funniest sitcom, but this line did it for me:

Remember, if you lot cock this up, it’s my arse on the line. Got that? Your cock up, my arse!

My favourite dinnerladies quotes:

Jean – It’s a load of codswash, dieting. All that misery for what? You could fall under a bus tomorrow.
Dolly – I could. You wouldn’t fit under a bus, it would have to be jacked up.

And

Tony – All a bloke really wants for Christmas is a voucher that says “Take this to 32 Sycamore Avenue. Mrs Janet Farnsbarnes will be stark naked waiting for you. You can have as long as you like, you get a cup of tea afterwards and you don’t have to have a bloody conversation.”

"Can you smell my Charlie"

Victoria wood was a genius.

Another early doors one

"Thinking of making this happy hour Tommy"

"Piss off"

Not a sitcom but Julie Walters doing the two soups sketch, written by VW. Absolute genius! We always mention it, if we have soup.

“Are you pregnant?” “Only if sperm can get through a sash window”. Dinnerladies <3

A scene from it's always sunny

Dennis convinces Dee that her boyfriend is special needs, the scene where he's eating popcorn with a screwed up hands makes me cry with laughter everyrime I watch it

Also when Mac and Dennis are doing olde English impressions

And Cheers (I’m old)

“It’s a little known fact that the tan became popular in a the bronze age”

Expect away is our standard response to anyone who expects anything. I love Black Books

Mention of Minder reminds me of Arthur's description of Social Services - "You know, wet liberal mob"

I love The Thin Blue Line.

One of my favourite scenes is Constable Kray on the phone:

”Yeah, tango, tango….diet lilt and a Coke!”

Another Frasier one... Lilith (I think): "So what would you say to that drink?" Frasier: "Don't get too comfortable in that glass."

Has to be Frasier! So many of them

Frasier is covered in an array of tiny, blood-soaked spots of toilet paper from shaving]
Martin: Jeez, I thought you were just going to slit your wrists. It looks like you went for "death of a thousand cuts."
Frasier: I cut myself because I was shaving without water. And why was there no water? Because I had to move your chair, which gouged the floor, which made me call for Joe, who found bad pipes, which called for Cecil, who ate the cat that killed the rat that lived in the house that Frasier built!

I love the Philomena/ filet- o -fish date in the Royle family. Also in another episode, Jim’s rant about the pissin pearl of Prestatyn. Classic 😄
Gavin and Stacey has too many good lines to think of too. Frasier though is the purest comedy gold of them all.

😂😂😂