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Original poster

Funniest lines from a sitcom

463 replies

Kingsleadhat · 03/09/2023 14:44

Could do with a laugh at the moment, so I'm wondering what are people's favourite funny lines from a sitcom or film? Mine is from Victoria Wood's Dinnerladies : "Tony Blair. Stick two poems up in a bus shelter and call it a university! ". Cracks me up every time

OP posts:
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9
Medee · 03/09/2023 18:20

Derry Girls-

Grandpa Joe about Gerry “who put 50p in the eejit?”

S. Michael after another of Jenny’s terrible plays. “The troubles lead to many atrocities… <big pause>… and now we can add that to play to them”

Purpleavocado · 03/09/2023 18:20

When Father Ted says he'll just tap out the dent
Dragonfly in Fawlty Towers
What is it about a group of people ordering an Indian or Chinese that it is unexpectable to eat you own food that you order yourself...

Minfor · 03/09/2023 18:23

Joey: ducks are heads because ducks have heads
Chandler: what kind of scary ass clowns came to you birthday?!

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TV
fetchacloth · 03/09/2023 18:24

Imnotswallowingthat · 03/09/2023 18:06

Bus wankers !

You beat me to it 😆.
From the Inbetweeners.

Maireas · 03/09/2023 18:24

Frasier again - Martin's loud girlfriend Sherry - "I always say laughter is the best medicine!"
Niles: "We must be in the placebo group".

Imnotswallowingthat · 03/09/2023 18:24

The ordering an Indian takeaway scene in Gavin and Stacy

“I can guarantee that Pete is already thinking about my bhunas - Pete, have you thought about my bhunas ?”

christonnabike · 03/09/2023 18:25

mrwalkensir · 03/09/2023 16:35

Reginald Perrin telling somebody that his creased suit was made of "crumpolene".

"I didn't get where I am today selling ice creams tasting of bookends, pumice stone and West Germany"

HB1974 · 03/09/2023 18:26

The Thick of It.

Stuart: when is a party not a party?

Peter Mannion: when it's at your house.

JackieQueen · 03/09/2023 18:27

Still Game:
Bobby: you're putting on the beef there, Jack
Jack: yeah, every time I shag your misses she makes me a sandwich

Original poster
Kingsleadhat · 03/09/2023 18:27

I've never seen Two Doors Down, I must look it out

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Trenda · 03/09/2023 18:27

Derry Girls
Granda Joe when Jerry has voiced an opinion
"who put 50p in the eejit?"

2 Doors down - My friends and I use the phrase "I got * out of her " when one of our gang gives us a cup of tea or whatever when we visit. Always with a smug smile that makes the rest laugh.

BlackCatsAreBrilliant · 03/09/2023 18:27

These are small, those are far away (to paraphrase) - Father Ted.

BakedTattie · 03/09/2023 18:28

Clawdy · 03/09/2023 17:22

"Pretentious? Moi? " Fawlty Towers.

Yes!

also,

“There’s someone at the door Cybil”

”mrs room-no-like”

”Sssss….poons”

DialSquare · 03/09/2023 18:28

Ok, Chardonnay Chardonnay you pack of chunts.

Kath & Kim when Kim had been told that pronouncing it Cardonnay was wrong.

Original poster
Kingsleadhat · 03/09/2023 18:29

Jewelanemone · 03/09/2023 18:09

Frasier has the best lines - my favourite episode is Out With Dad where Marty has to pretend to be gay.

Best line - Roz's current boyfriend's parents visit Frasier's apartment, and they have huge noses. Dinner is cooking; the father sniffs and says 'Mmm, what's that I can smell?'. Marty, in his recliner, mutters 'Japan, probably.'

Marty - We call him Eddie Spaghetti
Daphne - Oh, does he like pasta?
Marty - No, he has worms

Probably Japan ! Hilarious 😂

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BakedTattie · 03/09/2023 18:31

“You can have wafer thin ham as a vegetarian can’t you” - the royal family

Imnotswallowingthat · 03/09/2023 18:32

Any line from Early Doors, the best sitcom of the past 20 years.

Original poster
Kingsleadhat · 03/09/2023 18:32

Maireas · 03/09/2023 18:24

Frasier again - Martin's loud girlfriend Sherry - "I always say laughter is the best medicine!"
Niles: "We must be in the placebo group".

So witty 🤣

OP posts:
Original poster
Kingsleadhat · 03/09/2023 18:33

Early Doors was underrated. Hilarious and sensitive and moving at times

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JamieFrasersfurrysporran · 03/09/2023 18:34

lookatgiraffenow · 03/09/2023 14:53

Pretty much all of the lines that come out of Christine's mouth in Two Doors Down. The script is fantastic and Elaine C Smith's portrayal is so clever and spot-on!!

She's brilliant

Boohooyouho · 03/09/2023 18:34

The whole salad scene in Gavin and Stacey with Doris.

Where’s the salad, (sticks two fingers up ) there’s the salad now leave me alone

Aposterhasnoname · 03/09/2023 18:35

Benidorm, Donald and Jacquline.

D. Fancy a cocktail?
J. Oooh, yes please.
D. Sugar rim?
J. Nah, just the drink.

DH and I quote this every single time we get a drink on holiday.

Meadowdog · 03/09/2023 18:37

The Brooklyn 99 cold open where a lineup of potential murderers have to sing a Backstreet Boys song.

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 03/09/2023 18:38

Kingsleadhat · 03/09/2023 18:01

Frasier had some fantastic lines. The one about outfitting the dog with a megaphone when he was wearing a cone ..😂

'Men don't use sex to get what we want! sex is what we want!'

Ellemeg82 · 03/09/2023 18:38

Father Ted "That's the great thing about Catholicism it's so vague no-one really knows what it's all about"

Also Father Ted when they're entering the Eurovision song content and the "Lovely Horse" song.

There are literally thousands from the Simpsons but 2 of my favourites are "Marriage is like a coffin, and each kid is another nail.” And
"facts are meaningless, you can use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true"

Again there are lots from Alan Partridge but a fave is "Lynn you're laughing at weather" and "it's hotter than the sun!"