One from Cabin Pressure (BBC R4 comedy). Arthur, the dim cabin steward is being trained by his mum, who owns and runs the airline MJN Air (My Jet Now - because she got the plane from her ex-husband, in her divorce). She is pretending to be a demanding passenger.
Carolyn - I am gluten intolerant.
Arthur - I’ll try not to be too gluten-annoying.
Or when Carolyn (I think) says that, as it has only one plane, MJN Air doesn’t really count as an airline because it only has one plane and you can’t put one plane in a line, so it is more of an air-dot.
Or when the Martin and Douglas, the pilots, and Arthur discuss how you would load 100 otters into the plane.
DOUGLAS: Could you, for instance, get a hundred otters on board Gerti?
MARTIN: Yes, I reckon you could.
DOUGLAS: And is it a jam-packed RSPCA-nightmare of a plane, or are the otters lounging in relative comfort?
MARTIN: Well, OK, there’s, er, there’s sixteen seats, so, say, two to a seat.
DOUGLAS: They’re good friends, these otters?
MARTIN: Let’s hope so. Then one in each overhead compartment ...
DOUGLAS: Always remembering to open them with care because otters may have shifted during the flight.
ARTHUR: And, er, one under each seat?
DOUGLAS: Yes! Good thinking.
MARTIN: But that’s where the lifejackets are.
DOUGLAS: That’s all right – otters can swim. Now, how many in the galley?
MARTIN: Er, four on the floor, two on the worktops? Well, it depends – are we carrying Carolyn and Arthur?
DOUGLAS: To wait on the otters? I think that would be an indulgence, frankly. I think we’d be better off replacing them with more otters.
MARTIN: Might be better off replacing Arthur with an otter anyway!
ARTHUR (indignantly): Hey!
DOUGLAS: So, thirty-two in the seats, sixteen in the overhead lockers, sixteen under the seats, six in the galley ...
MARTIN: ... fifteen in the hold?
DOUGLAS: Oh, twenty easily; and six or seven in the aisle.
MARTIN: Call it seven.
DOUGLAS: That’s, what, ninety-seven; and three in the flight deck. A hundred!
ARTHUR: Brilliant!
MARTIN: No. Not in the flight deck.
DOUGLAS: Hypothetically, though ...
MARTIN: I don’t care how hypothetical it is, I’m not flying with a live otter in the flight deck.
DOUGLAS: I don’t see why not. Historically, very few hijackings have been carried out by otters.
MARTIN: Well, I’m sorry, but I don’t think the Civil Aviation Authority would be too keen on the idea.
DOUGLAS: To be quite honest with you, Captain, I don’t think there’s a whole lot about this plane full of unsupervised otters the CAA is going to love.