Quick Poll of MNers around domestic abuse - No details needed

[WoodforTrees]

A quick poll.

On the back of one of the threads about Emma Pattison who was murdered this week along with her daughter, it has become apparent just how many women relate to life she may have been living. We know the figures around reported domestic abuse, and some of the charities like Women's Aid will have a guess at unreported figures, but I think the numbers are higher than even the worst guess.

I never reported. I even insisted everything was 'fine' when someone reported on my behalf. I know there are more like me.

There is a good definition of domestic abuse here. It breaks down the types and gives examples for anyone who is unclear:

thefirststep.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/Types-of-abuse-and-examples.pdf

Please feel free to name-change and simply write 'Yes' or 'No' to indicate whether you have ever experienced any form of DA. Please please don't think this poll isn't for you if you never have. I'm hoping to see lots of 'No' answers.

Thank you.

Yes. Told the GP.

No

Yes as an adult. Not physical.

I really didn’t see it coming. Everyone thinks he’s marvelous.

Millions of women walk on eggshells and never get hit. It's still abuse, just not reportable.

Christ, yes. It’s hellish. Like living in a minefield and not being able to see any way out of it.

Yes

Yes I reported

Yes.
Reported and convicted

Yes my first boyfriend threatened to kill himself when I dumped him and moved away to uni, he stalked / harassed me on and off for ten years after. Never reported as I felt like it was my fault.
The father of my kids was emotionally abusive for years but v clever and manipulative, always plausible deniability, and although I never felt truly happy or safe with him, I thought that was normal... Once I got pregnant and moved to his country it escalated to physical, daily verbal attacks and threats to kill me in front of the kids. I have audio and video evidence of it all. Since reading that the police are the profession with the highest rates of committing DV, I am wary of reporting him. I don’t want to engage with abusive men ever again. Thank you for this thread OP

Yes

Coercive control is reportable in the UK. It's been a crime since 2015 and the law around it is still being refined. Information at Rights of Women.

No

Yes

Yes. Over 16 years ago. Phisical abuse, financial abuse, coercive control and rape. Not reported by me but other victims have repotred. A friend of mine saw the bruises and confronted him despite me never saying a word. The result was him and a load of other local women accusing me of lying and causing him problems. I left the area and never told him where I was going. I know he's since had to do a domestic violence awareness course and a previous partner of his was in a refuge

Physical not phisical*

Name changed for this. Yes , a coercive control relationship then an physically abusive one - I got out thankfully with my baby. Also my father was violent to my mum growing up.

Yes

Yes didn't report he was police officer.

Yes

Yes

Yes.