Quick Poll of MNers around domestic abuse - No details needed

[WoodforTrees]

A quick poll.

On the back of one of the threads about Emma Pattison who was murdered this week along with her daughter, it has become apparent just how many women relate to life she may have been living. We know the figures around reported domestic abuse, and some of the charities like Women's Aid will have a guess at unreported figures, but I think the numbers are higher than even the worst guess.

I never reported. I even insisted everything was 'fine' when someone reported on my behalf. I know there are more like me.

There is a good definition of domestic abuse here. It breaks down the types and gives examples for anyone who is unclear:

thefirststep.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/Types-of-abuse-and-examples.pdf

Please feel free to name-change and simply write 'Yes' or 'No' to indicate whether you have ever experienced any form of DA. Please please don't think this poll isn't for you if you never have. I'm hoping to see lots of 'No' answers.

Thank you.

Yes

Yes

Yes.

Yes

Yes

No

No

Yes

I am not pretending this poll is going to be accurate or scientific in any way. I hoped people would click regardless of status but accept that the yes camp are more likely to click.

I didn't note the 'sarcasm' description in the link and agree that is a very grey area - but I hope people can interpret it within the context of the list and know that mutual banter/piss taking is not what is being referred to.

I started this because I have always thought my situation was a lonely one. I would look at the partners of my friends and be certain they wouldn't comprehend - never mind relate to - the things that were happening in my home.

Then, on the back of Emma Pattison thread, I started to sense that that perhaps, DA was even more prevalent than current estimates. So many of us could relate to, and imagine scenarios that led up to the horrific outcome.

I wanted to test my notion and this was the only way I could think to do it.

So no, it's not accurate, but what IS clear is that in less than 24 hours - over 120 posters have come forward to say YES.

This tells me one important thing. If you answered NO, I'm very glad, and I hope you hold your 'No' for ever. But, as a 'NO', you almost certainly know someone who answered YES. It's that endemic :(

No

No
Thanks though OP, it's too easy to live in a bubble of assumptions that 'people like me' are ok and it's good to be challenged on that. You never really know what others may be going through.

I wasn’t talking about coercive control. I was talking about constant sniping, snapping, argument with everything you say, sneering, insults. None of it’s illegal or reportable but it brings you to your knees. Nobody who hasn’t experienced it has any idea how hellish it is.

Yes

Yes

No

Yes including marital rape
Physical violence
Mental abuse
Stalking
Reported but couldn't get the support I needed from police , or family , or social services
Walked out, lost everything , not easy
I don't know if support is better now but I doubt it

No

Yes.

All three of my long term partners have ended up being abusive in some way.

Yes

Yes, not reported

No.

No

No

Thank you for this thread, OP.