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Original poster

Quick Poll of MNers around domestic abuse - No details needed

304 replies

WoodforTrees · 09/02/2023 18:45

A quick poll.

On the back of one of the threads about Emma Pattison who was murdered this week along with her daughter, it has become apparent just how many women relate to life she may have been living. We know the figures around reported domestic abuse, and some of the charities like Women's Aid will have a guess at unreported figures, but I think the numbers are higher than even the worst guess.

I never reported. I even insisted everything was 'fine' when someone reported on my behalf. I know there are more like me.

There is a good definition of domestic abuse here. It breaks down the types and gives examples for anyone who is unclear:

thefirststep.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/Types-of-abuse-and-examples.pdf

Please feel free to name-change and simply write 'Yes' or 'No' to indicate whether you have ever experienced any form of DA. Please please don't think this poll isn't for you if you never have. I'm hoping to see lots of 'No' answers.

Thank you.

OP posts:
mathanxiety · 09/02/2023 23:04

Yes

mathanxiety · 09/02/2023 23:06

And yes, I reported the actual violence, police came.
After divorce he continued to harass me through post divorce court.

The issue of reporting is tied to the type of abuse. Millions of women walk on eggshells and never get hit. It's still abuse, just not reportable.

9Feb · 09/02/2023 23:09

No

TitInATrance · 09/02/2023 23:11

As a teenager (DF) but not marital DA.

Blaze3 · 09/02/2023 23:13

Yes

GarlicGrace · 09/02/2023 23:23

Yes. Both marriages (I thought I was choosing better the second time 🙄) Also my father, abused my mother and me.
All in all: Physical, emotional, psychological, sexual and financial abuse.
Never reported any of it.

In case anyone could use this recommendation, try the Freedom Programme.

Crinkle77 · 09/02/2023 23:31

No

sevenbyseven · 09/02/2023 23:33

No

clopper · 09/02/2023 23:36

No

PeraltasWife · 09/02/2023 23:36

Yes

ArmchairAnarchist2 · 09/02/2023 23:39

No

Needanewnameagain · 09/02/2023 23:40

Yes

Pumpupthejampumpitup · 09/02/2023 23:48

No to physical

YES to everything else. Financial & coercion especially.

tartlets · 09/02/2023 23:49

Yes; reported and convicted, the sentence was laughable but I'm glad I went through with the case; might save a future victim.

RJnomore1 · 09/02/2023 23:51

Yes.

tortoiseshellpeppershoes · 09/02/2023 23:54

Yes

Original poster
WoodforTrees · 09/02/2023 23:56

So many....

I will do a tot up in the morning.

OP posts:
CrunchyCarrot · 09/02/2023 23:57

Yes (during marriage to ex, for 5 yrs)

Starrysilver · 09/02/2023 23:57

No

Mammut · 10/02/2023 00:02

Yes

MyGrandmaLizzie · 10/02/2023 00:02

No

toomuchlaundry · 10/02/2023 00:07

No. I am so sorry for those who have. Awful to see how some families have multiple examples

UrsulaPandress · 10/02/2023 00:11

No. Thankfully. And my heart goes out to all of you who have.

And to those questioning this 🤷‍♀️

HannaHat · 10/02/2023 00:12

Yes as a child, no as an adult.

crouchingpheasant · 10/02/2023 00:18

Yes

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