Rightmove Gem.

[PriamFarrl]

Crazy description ✔️
Detailed picture of every toilet ✔️
Pictures of random trees ✔️
Pictures of a dog ✔️
Pictures of the actual house ❎

www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/129160883#/?channel=RES_BUY

Wizard of oz 70s swingers party

it reminds me of the time my 5yr old nephew gave me a facetime tour of their new extension and kitchen!

What’s the owner like??

Have to admit, I wondered about something like that - it seemed very er, niche (nod, nod, wink wink, say no more <taps side of nose>).

Or some sort of Satanic cult.
I could envisage a goat being sacrificed in that bathroom with the pointy pattern on the floor.

“Spa and wellness facilities AVAILABLE” (ie: can be supplied, wink-wink) ✔️

“Wild night was had” (one of the reviews) ✔️

Multiple bathrooms ✔️

Rose on pillow & champagne by bed ✔️

Wipe-clean recliner sofa ✔️

= 100% been run as a swingers appartment/brothel/sex club retreat!

Photo of house —- they couldn’t be arsed to move the bins and rubbish bag.
Photo of bed — ponced up with roses on bath towels.
Im not buying your bed, or the bath towels, or the roses.
Is there parking? Is there bin storage ? How old is the gas boiler?

I love the idea that the whole of Bristol gets special government protection because GCHQ is in Cheltenham 😂

My son, Obsidian, has recently been looking for a home in the £15-20 region and is now drinking a chug jug to help him cope as he cannot find a property within this price range. Any help of where to find a home in between Obsidian's £15 and £20 price range is greatly appreciated. Thank you.

I've also never seen such a comprehensive estate agents' description of a property.

If the King put Buck House on the market I doubt it would command such a wordy rendition of the features of the property.

£800,000 - and it's only 2 bedrooms. (Though apparently 127 bathrooms 😜)

Four pictures of the dog . Excellent hahaha

It's actually cheap for a 2 bed penthouse in Bristol.

I was expecting it to be a few £M.

WTAF

This is far too confusing for my brain to work out on a monday morning.

orbitalcrisis · Today 07:26

"The house was conceived..." I think that's their way of explaining in nice terms when they fucked it

😂

This is defiantly the only one of its kind in the world

Defiantly

Yep, you can say that again.

They need a wide lense, there's so many duplicates and close ups of the wood decor that the fact there is a nice view has been lost in the visual noise.

That's a joke surely? And it's clearly not making them much money when they've listed with a free online agent.

It’s the Bristol bog house

In the event of a police raid you are only 2 steps away from a toilet where you flush your drugs down the pan.

Looks like a pad for an early 80's high end soft porn mag shoots.

Was there even a kitchen?

120 photos and they’re all rubbish!

Whoever took those and decide to put them on the advert needs a new job!

Why is there so many of the bathtub and the wardrobe!!

I don’t know why they thought that was a good idea and I bet it’s actually a really nice place but you can’t tell because the photos are terrible and there’s way too many of them.

It’s the two full glasses of champagne teetering precariously on the leather sofas arms that gets me… puts me on edge!

Must have spent ages balancing them (and the roses next to them… wtf?)

I think the photographer accidentally uploaded his own photo reel of his weekend away 😬

What is this? 👀

Nice dog...

1. I don't like Green.
2. All that paterned wood has given me a migraine.
3. Do you get everything in the pictures, or just a 1 bed home with a converted garage?
4. Why so many fugly bathrooms?
5. Why can't people PUT THE SEAT DOWN?

<AND BREATHE> 😵

Reformed criminals got me, too!
Some of the doors look plastic, not carved.