How does one fart?

[withmycoffee]

Reading a post today about someone's DP farting whist she ate and another about adult DSS comic farting I started wondering, what is fart etiquette in your relationship/family/home?

Do people fart openly? Leave the room? Leave the bed before releasing? Say 'excuse me'? Laugh each time? What is typical fart behaviour?

@Lofari

Farts are funny. In hospital after my last c section and was in agony with trapped wind. They gave me something for it and then it got very loud and windy. Lady in the bed opposite was howling laughing.

A relative of mine had a hip replacement op. She had a spinal anaesthetic and back on the ward when she was still dead from the waist down she let out a huge fart. She had no idea it was coming so as much of a surprise to her as everyone else.

Has this great thread already breathed its final squeak, like its presidential namesake?

I was brought up to believe farting Infront of anyone regardless of the situation is wrong and rude. DH the opposite. I admit I have a weird phobia of it. It's a struggle because DH just lets them off regardless, though I am.trying to be more accepting of it. DS doing it or DSD is fine as they are kids. So far you just let one off unless your in public but I do wish I could get over my weird feelings about something natural

Very carefully!
I was out with a female colleague one evening, in about 1984, when she told me that her "boyfriend" had asked her suddenly "do farts have lumps?"

On icy winters walks in the countryside, I've often wondered if my farts are visible on the cold air as my breath is.

Apparently, if you fart in front of the Queen and one of her ladies in waiting giggles. She will let a little one slip to make you feel more comfortable.

Sit on the pouffe lean back and let it woosh out of my crack. Ahh, better out than in.

My mum claimed never to fart. For years. Until one drunken night in Gran Canaria where she puked and farted so loud it was like lino ripping.
It took me awhile to compose myself so Inl could help her!

Apparently, if you fart in front of the Queen and one of her ladies in waiting giggles. She will let a little one slip to make you feel more comfortable.

Is the idea that nobody could possibly say anything to her about it and so, by association, you get away with it too?
"Catch that, will you, Perkins!"
"Very good, Ma'am!"

If a long line of people all did it at a big state function, she'd end up extremely Wind-sore

@Lofari literally dead reading that. Crying 😂😂😂