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Original poster

How does one fart?

260 replies

withmycoffee · 24/01/2021 21:49

Reading a post today about someone's DP farting whist she ate and another about adult DSS comic farting I started wondering, what is fart etiquette in your relationship/family/home?

Do people fart openly? Leave the room? Leave the bed before releasing? Say 'excuse me'? Laugh each time? What is typical fart behaviour?

OP posts:
MustardMitt · 25/01/2021 14:50

@HarrysWife

Im genuinely perplexed by this. So Farting in company is considered rude/uncouth in my family, however you follow it with I once had a ONS with a bloke and because he farted I found it really coarse behaviour. and you never saw him again.

So its ok to have sex with someone you just met and never see them again but not ok to fart in front of someone? Not judging either comment, just interested in your opinions.

How on Earth are one night stands and farting comparable? 😂😂😂
lynsey91 · 25/01/2021 14:53

@HarrysWife

Im genuinely perplexed by this. So Farting in company is considered rude/uncouth in my family, however you follow it with I once had a ONS with a bloke and because he farted I found it really coarse behaviour. and you never saw him again.

So its ok to have sex with someone you just met and never see them again but not ok to fart in front of someone? Not judging either comment, just interested in your opinions.

I found that post hysterical really. Sleeps around but wouldn't fart in front of someone.

I take none of you have fanny farts when you have sex then?

JoshLymanIsHotterThanSam · 25/01/2021 14:54

Younger vs older women who’ve been round the block??

I am 35...married 13 years this year and we fart loud and proud. The man watched me shit myself when I was giving birth...I think a fart is the least of his worries!

Givemeabreak88 · 25/01/2021 14:54

Well I’ve never heard anyone loudly farting in public! Most normal people wait till their alone, it’s really rude to just sit somewhere and fart, what makes you think people want to smell that!

HarrysWife · 25/01/2021 15:02

@lynsey91 I am mindblown by it Grin. I think it was the casual "Normal" tone of it that got me. I can just imagine her telling her mum over breakfast about this great ONS she had last night but kicking him out after he farted as its uncouth. its just so bizarre.

mistletoeandsigh · 25/01/2021 15:07

The kids do it when they like and the older one says "pardon me" but laughs as well.

I don't like farting in front of people. My boyfriend does it sometimes, but he's not always at it. We laugh if it's a big one.

yesyoudoknowme · 25/01/2021 15:13

Whenever at home - not when out with others though. HOWEVER you are all obviously too young to suffer but you wait until you get older - bend down - fart, stand up - fart. When I say to my DS I can't help it - I REALLY can't Shock

ItsJustARide · 25/01/2021 15:25

I used to get up in the night to parp in the en suite!

That’s the most middle-class thing I’ve ever read on mumsnet!

Wearywithteens · 25/01/2021 15:27

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

CounsellorTroi · 25/01/2021 16:09

I think younger women are quite happy to trump away and treat their husbands like mates. Older women, who have been round the block a bit, possibly been burnt a bit, sense on some level that it's best to keep a bit of mystery and romance and sexiness in a marriage. yes it's a bit old fashioned, but there's something to be said for it.

Nonsense. I've been married 30 years. And am 60 this year.

likeamillpond · 25/01/2021 16:14

@Givemeabreak88

Well I’ve never heard anyone loudly farting in public! Most normal people wait till their alone, it’s really rude to just sit somewhere and fart, what makes you think people want to smell that!
Ah but you're a PRUDE! Mn's favourite insult Grin
OohImBlindedByTheLights · 25/01/2021 16:16

Oh Christ just let it rip people! It's a natural bodily function! If I break an absolute belter I'm proud and laugh and so does my DH!

My DH held his fart in during our early dates when we were having pizza and a movie at his flat and he was crippled in agony with holding it in by the time I left lol!!

OohImBlindedByTheLights · 25/01/2021 16:18

But I wouldn't sit and let one go when I'm in company. My own house is different. If at work, I go to the toilet. I work with some prudes so I'd get shot lol!

Dailyhandtowelwash · 25/01/2021 16:21

Maybe neither of us is particularly gassy! I've never been in any discomfort. I don't really mind if he farts in front of me but he doesn't want to, so as a return courtesy I don't either unless it's unobtrusive. I don't think either of us finds farts funny though unless they happen at a totally wrong moment (kids). It's not about any mystique or much of a conscious effort, any more than I don't sit at my desk at work and fart.

missrm · 25/01/2021 16:28

"I found that post hysterical really. Sleeps around but wouldn't fart in front of someone.

I take none of you have fanny farts when you have sex then?"

@lynsey91

Massive difference in slipping out a little queef and basically inviting someone to smell your shite.

I remember queefing once after a particularly rigorous doggy style session. This thing - omg. Only word I can think to describe it was frattler. Diiiiied.

Givemeabreak88 · 25/01/2021 16:33

My response was in how it’s possible to hold it in in the same way people manage to in public settings, since a few people have asked how someone can possible manage to hold it in! I’ve never been in any discomfort or pain either I guess that would only be the case if you are quite a gassy person, I don’t fart very often anyway so it wouldn’t be “constantly leaving the room”

Wannabegreenfingers · 25/01/2021 16:33

I really can't hold them in. I can generally make them silent when needed. I could not walk out the room holding in a fart, it just wouldn't happen.

I'll freely fart at home in front of the kids. I do my best to minimise when out and about. Used to fart in of exh and vice versa.

Farts are funny, the smell well it happens. I really can't get worked up about them...

Biscoffaddict · 25/01/2021 16:41

@Hugoslavia

I was once watching a private riding lesson in a large cavernous arena with a friend. The instructor left to use the facilities, down a very echoey hall. And he forgot to turn his microphone off. We heard shuffling, him undoing his zip, then the longest wee in the world came over the tanoid system. My friend and I were already in fits of giggles when he farted!! It was gargantuan and reverberated around the arena!! We both lost it at that point. We were doubled over, years rolling down our cheeks, desperately trying to straighten up and act normal by the time that he returned. So, the correct etiquette would be to ensure that any personal audio devices are turned off first, prior to letting rip.
Ahahahahahahah! That’s hilarious! 😂😂😂😂😂

That reminds me of the time at my brother wedding. At the end of the night I had to escort my parents to their room at the hotel because they were both so pissed, it was about 1.30am the hotel was quiet, as we walked through the reception my Dad let out the loudest fart ever assuming no one was there, but there was night Porter stood at the desk 😂😂

ilovecardigans · 25/01/2021 16:49

Years ago I was waiting for a Metro train in Newcastle. It was one of the underground stops (relevant).

A chap standing further along from me let forth an absolute ripsnorter of a fart, which echoed the far length of the platform. He turned to me and proudly exclaimed in broad Geordie - 'In church or chapel, let it rattle, hinny!' Excellent! Grin

bloodywhitecat · 25/01/2021 16:56

DP has cancer of the bile duct, he has had half of his pancreas removed and no longer produces the enzymes required to digest his food so he has to take an enzyme replacement every time he eats. One of the first signs (unbeknown to us at the time) was an increase in the amount he farts and now, if he doesn't take enough Creon (his enzyme replacement) he farts, lots. He can't help it, he isn't doing it to be rude, he is doing it because he has cancer.

Unalome · 25/01/2021 16:59

13 years together and apart from a couple of accidental incidents of breaking wind during pregnancy, we don’t tend to do break wind in front of each other. We just leave the room.

Borntobeamum · 25/01/2021 17:22

Married 38 years and we give ours a 1-10 rating! 😝

AlwaysLatte · 25/01/2021 17:27

I'd be mortified to fart in front of my husband! We both normally go to the bathroom. On the other hand my 12 year old is a whole different issue - he'd get an amplifier for it if he could!

2020fuckoff · 25/01/2021 17:30

My ex (well, it's complicated) farted on our second date...it was accidental, he was mortified & I was crying with laughter

FitYeDaeinYeMadRadge · 25/01/2021 17:43

I’m normally a fairly private passer of gas. But last year I bent over to pick up a syringe in front of a patient.

What could only be described as the sound of a short sharp rifle crack filled the room. Non smelly but oh the shame. No point in styling it out as my patient’s face was Shock

I get red faced just thinking about it. Yup, should know better but it was the sheer surprise element of it.

It was like my bum produced a little flag saying BANG!! on it.

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