I just don't understaaaaaaaand...

[OneMoreForExtra]

... why i don't lose weight. I never eat breakfast and I hardly eat anything else apart from coffee with cream, loads of cheese and no carbs apart from chocolate and wine but that's stress management right?

Aaaaand I always look a scruff but it can't be because I can't be arsed to work out how to style it...

Anyone else similarly baffled about why life isn't going their way?

Pondering bath in Baileys on ice avec snorkel eating a chip butty with my left hand...

It’s my first username that I really though was “me” 😆

Food eaten standing up doesn't count

Are you getting your steps to the fridge in?

That was to @FlouncerInDenial

Can I add a quick anti-aging tip as well? - It is...
...always take your glasses of before looking in the mirror - I tried this one simple trick and now look 15 years younger!

@FlouncerInDenial

They're what is making this thread comedy gold *@OneMoreForExtra*

Absolutely!

@FlouncerInDenial

Sorry, I pressed something and @'d the wrong name. It changed. I was trying to *@BigBadVoodooHat*

Sorry. I'd blame fat fingers, but they're thin now I've been frantically following the advice on this thread

One very effective way to lose weight is to drink so much wine that you are unconscious for the rest of day. Of course you DO need to drink wine again once you've come to, in order to have a restful nights sleep
HTH

Even better than holding your wine in your left hand - a glass of wine in each hand is a balanced diet and stops you snacking

Are you filled with horror at the thought of eating a whole tin of soup?

Certainly not! I always eat the whole tin as I hate the idea of wasting food. I freeze it in ice cube trays so I can defrost one cube/portion at a time.

Thank you so much for your wisdom PPs. I’m just off to the kitchen to implement all recommendations simultaneously. Mmm, cheese choc chips cream wine vodka and crackers from the high shelf ...

@ThatLibraryMiss

Are you filled with horror at the thought of eating a whole tin of soup?

Certainly not! I always eat the whole tin as I hate the idea of wasting food. I freeze it in ice cube trays so I can defrost one cube/portion at a time.

Do you consume the can as well @ThatLibraryMiss. I know that it's good for women to keep up their iron levels, and wondered if steel/aluminium also counts?

I myself always eat the wrapping paper on starburst as I feel the extra roughage compliments the fruit.

I think the ambidextrous are fucked though

Ahh that's me. I'll just leave the bottle on the table and suck up the wine through a very long straw so then Im not touching the wine at all.

Do you consume the can as well @ThatLibraryMiss.

Oh, I couldn't! After my cube of soup I'm so stuffed that all I need for the next three days is to walk past the greengrocers and inhale deeply. It's because I'm so teeny-tiny.

Stealth boast.

You might be teeny and even tiny @ThatLibraryMiss, but you won't be as healthy as the rest of us on this thread. We're all about the nutrition, you see.

@Georgyporky

5 portions of fruit & veg = 5 glasses of fermented grape juice, right?

And tomato ketchup on chips is another 2 portions

Dont forget the mid morning Jaffa cakes

Definitely one of your five a day

Sadly all your fruit and veg need to be different so you can’t count wine as three and tomato sauce as two.

I would suggest:
Wine
Apple cider
Pear cider
A margarita
Tomato sauce

@FlouncerInDenial, thank you but I don't want to change what I'm doing as I look so young (and did I mention that I'm teeny-tiny?) that I am often mistaken for my teenaged daughter's younger sister.

I'm just worried about your health, @ThatLibraryMiss. Your insides may not look quite so youthful as you might hope.

The rest of us are glowing with alcohol youthful exuberance

I have a very similar problem 🙄 it's not fair is it

@FlouncerInDenial

I'm just worried about your health, *@ThatLibraryMiss*. Your insides may not look quite so youthful as you might hope.

The rest of us are glowing with alcohol youthful exuberance

Alcohol is a known preservative, so obviously when I drink so much gin it's purely for health reasons, and I am carefully pickling myself from the inside out, and this is how I look so youthful (or possibly because I have been looking in the mirror wearing my gin goggles for the past 40 years).

Fit n fabulous, @SchadenfreudePersonified, as are all of us lovelies on this thread.

We should probably get it copied onto S&B and health boards so we could teach em all a thing or two

@OneMoreForExtra

I know exactly what your problem is... your not drinking enough wine.

Perhaps add some chips into the mix?! ....

@FlouncerInDenial

Fit n fabulous, *@SchadenfreudePersonified*, as are all of us lovelies on this thread.

We should probably get it copied onto S&B and health boards so we could teach em all a thing or two

Unfortunately I don't drink alcohol. I've been careful to make sure I eat enough cheese and chocolate to counterbalance this deficiency though.