Anti dementors say lockdown can just fucking do one now, we're going for chips.

[SirSamuelVimesBlackboardMonito]

New thread! I think this brings the total to 12?

Morning all. Well yesterday was fun wasn't it? I reckon it scored 11 on the "batshit crazyometer".

Looking forward to seeing what today brings

I hate Bicester Village, it is soulless. I used to go there to get shoes for the kids at the Clarkes outlet, but we'd do 10am on a Wednesday or something daft to make sure it was empty. Independent high street shops for me and my cash to burn!

Does anyone remember that thread where the OP and her DD dropped home made brownies off on a friend's doorstep?

Christ but she got a pasting.

Zero deaths in our postcode. Zero. 3 in the area next to us, similar on both sides (and one was a very very very large gentleman who was forever at the doctors). That is what we’ve been locked up for.

Cluster round by my mums but that’s Sunderland which was suffering anyway (I blame deprivation there) and she lives in a village with a few care homes and lots of older people - you move in there and never leave till you die basically- I’m rare that I moved away.

A couple of deaths near me but we have an extremely elderly population and care homes so not too surprising. But it doesn't change my view that we need to get the economy going otherwise there will be no money for future services. Anyone who doesn't want to partake in that can stay at home and stop moaning at people going out

The shopping thread was just batshit 😆

Interestingly (and I know this because the care home put a statement out), their first case of Covid was a new resident who had been discharged straight to them from the hospital. She died of Covid 2 days later, so it’s clear she was already infected.
When all the reviews have been done into all this, so many cases of incompetence are going to be found.

I have a little man from Horrids come up in his green van with a personal stylist hanging on to the clothes racks all the way up the M1. Then I try stuff on my in my summerhouse. I wouldn’t let them use a toilet of course.

Zero deaths here. None! Someone died in a house fire a week or two before lockdown - passed out with a ciggie. Life is risky.

Shame the shopping thread filled up. My mum is in the shielded category but as she’s nearly died twice in the last 10 years she couldn’t give two hoots to the ‘guidelines’. There are sane shielded people out there.

It breaks my heart when I read about people being alone with no hugs for 12 weeks. After 3 weeks shielding neither party would have any virus so perfectly safe to hug.....but the rules say no. This is what convinced me we are no longer in lock down for safety but for Cummings and his cronies to see what manipulation is possible on a societal level.

Fear of being judged is one of the tools that is being used (according to the gov.uk website so that’s not a conspiracy theory) I can’t understand why people aren’t more angry about being deliberately manipulated and controlled. I’m fucking fuming about it and sad that the only rebellion I can do at the moment is to wear a chin sling on the train and ignore the one way system when I’m the only person in the station.

Rant over.

I see it has already started on pubs / clubs

Morning rascals

25 deaths in my postcode according to that link. The total for our whole town is around 190 so I'm assuming most of the 25 are my fault. Possibly due to a steady stream of non-essentials being delivered but I expect sitting on my balcony while smoking, drinking alcohol and being cheerful has contributed. Our town hasn't had any deaths for 19 days now so I've clearly been slacking. Must try harder today!!

It's OK, fiends. Today's popcorn has arrived.
"I've woken up with symptoms that in no way resemble the virus and have had a test that was negative" but STAY AT HOME YOU SELFISH BASTARD DON'T BELIEVE THE TEST.

2 cases have been introduced into New Zealand by British people... wait for the threads about how horrific we Brits are, absolute pariahs, no one will want us again...

Hope we’re not pariahs in autumn when my death spree to Greece is supposed to take place.

Today is the day I do it...make a break for the border: England here I come for a killing spree of murderous hugs, sleeping in someone else's house and non essential shopping!!!

I'm having work done on the outside of Trapped Towers in a couple of weeks time (the LL has finally conceded that the roof does need doing along with the guttering), anyway a letter from the contractor has arrived and, along with all the other Covid compliance stuff, has added this little gem:

Our workers will avoid direct contact with you and each other, skin to skin contact is banned

Which begs the question...what WERE they doing before covid that now means that skin to skin contact is banned??

Which begs the question...what WERE they doing before covid that now means that skin to skin contact is banned??

The mind boggles 😁.

9 cases in our area but I live in the worst hit London Borough.

You can mute people??

Yeah. Some people are just so annoying and pointless to discuss things with that I can mute them in my head and then my eyes just slide over their posts and can't take anything in that they say.

Even if they respond to me directly, it's impossible for me to engage with them.

Good morning anti-Dementors

I love how the "ban nightclubs forever" thread doesn't appear to have anyone on it who has heard of a speakeasy.

Lickyicelollies do let us know how you get on with your border crossing. Am so anxious about our England trip in July ( and I'm not normally an anxious person but the thought we might not be able to go because of the border issue is pushing me over the edge a bit)
Oh and what you buy - although to be fair quite a lot of shops open in Scotland too.

If England opens hairdressers and barbers before Scotland then everyone from out office reckons they'll be making a dash for it . Beats zoom haircuts that are being offered currently.As it is I've already prewarned DH that if I can't get it done before we go I'll be booking a slot during our break. Cut only mind - I can sort the roots out at a later point.

I don't think Nicola will be happy to see all that income flowing over the border - even if it's an entirely self made problem - so suspect July border police may be a last gasp attempt to control the proles. Although hopefully police will be fed up with it by that point and have some actual legitimate police work to do rather than acting as Gilead border patrol.

I have woken up this morning to a lovely text from my cleaner expressing how desperate she is to get back to work and she has decided that if Nicola Sturgeon moves into phase 2 this week she will be back next week.

I will be SO glad to see her.

Morning all. Just when you thought MN couldn't get any crazier up popped the shopping thread. That was joyous, should go in MN Classics as a prime example of just how hysterical and, frankly, mad some people are.

Anyway, checked our postcode via the link. It puts our village together with two others so probably round about 6500 people at a conservative guess. Number of deaths - 13. No complicated maths for me trying to work out percentages but in anyone's book that is pretty miniscule.

NZ is ‘interesting’ - what exactly did they THINK was going to happen?

School emailed yesterday about giving tablets and broadband to low-income families... this doesn’t bode well for back to normal 11th august.

Sockyarn I thought cleaners were allowed to work already. My work colleagues cleaner has come all the way through and he has been hiding in the attic whilst she's there - it's more like a study so not as bad as it sounds !
I'm simultaneously excited and worried about the Phase 2 announcements. If it's everything that's in the document then it will be a sizeable improvement on where we are right now and I have heard pubs are gearing up to open outdoor beer gardens from next Monday. If however she does some of it very, very carefully because it's all so very dangerousso dangerous in fact that nobody died yesterday then I'll be hugely annoyed.

Most of all - for parents of younger children- I hope she opens playgrounds as it is one of the Phase 2 measures. There is no economic benefit in it so I suspect she won't, but it would make a huge difference to those parents and buy her some much needed goodwill after the schools fiasco.

I wouldn't mind playgrounds not opening but only because I find going to the park incredibly fucking tedious