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Original poster

If you could go back and tell your first-time-new-mother self one thing...

147 replies

JessePinkmanYo · 08/08/2019 23:46

...what would it be?

Mine would be you won't be this lonely forever. You are crippling lonely and isolated and depressed, go and speak out and ask for help.

OP posts:
Pipandmum · 08/08/2019 23:48

‘This too shall pass’

Original poster
JessePinkmanYo · 08/08/2019 23:48

Also, it really doesn't fucking matter what sort of pram you have Grin

OP posts:
SailorJerry13 · 08/08/2019 23:51

OP are you the woman who writes on the rocknrollmother Facebook page ?? She wrote two posts about both those points !! Haha

Evilmorty · 08/08/2019 23:52

Ignore those fucking bastard IL’s.

DippyAvocado · 08/08/2019 23:52

Spend more time just cuddling. I was constantly trying to get my first DC to "do" things - shaking rattles in het face and singing nursery rhymes. I wish I'd spent more time just snuggling on the sofa with some good TV or a book.

doleritedinosaur · 08/08/2019 23:53

Enjoy the lying in bed watching Netflix, he will sleep (after a year.)

But enjoy the doing nothing.

user1486131602 · 08/08/2019 23:53

Relax.
Do what’s right for you, not anyone else and listen to your instincts they are ALWAYS right.

Cobblersandhogwash · 08/08/2019 23:55

Be brave. Ignore the constant intrusions.

You're doing the right thing just hugging and cuddling your baby.

Randomdogbite · 08/08/2019 23:55

Just really really do whatever makes you happy or you think is best. Honestly the hours I wasted with my first trying to get him to sleep in a Moses basket, second time round I just had them on my lap watching tv, everyone sleeps the same now but I was trying to do the 'right' thing

Original poster
JessePinkmanYo · 08/08/2019 23:56

OP are you the woman who writes on the rocknrollmother Facebook page ?? She wrote two posts about both those points !!

I'm not! But will be sure to check that page out - intrigued Smile

OP posts:
Oberonunder · 08/08/2019 23:58

Stop trying to put the baby to bed. She does not want to go to bed. Just sit on the sofa and chill with her. She will end up going to sleep at the same time as your "bedtime routine" takes and the tv is better.

I at least took my advice for the second child.

Seeingadistance · 09/08/2019 00:09

Just give him a bottle.

ElizaPancakes · 09/08/2019 02:05

Enjoy being slim coz you're going to get reeeeeaaaal fat reeeeeaaaaal fast.

(I lost two stone during my first pregnancy and gained it all back).

Pantsomime · 09/08/2019 02:12

Relax it’ll all be fine

Dogsaresomucheasier · 09/08/2019 02:12

It’s okay to not be okay and you are being let down. Your mental health is the most important factor in her well being and it’s okay to see that your needs are met.

mamakoukla · 09/08/2019 02:16

If they want to visit in the early weeks, don’t do anything. Visiting in those few weeks = make yourself useful and don’t expect to be waited on

powershowerforanhour · 09/08/2019 02:32

Don't wait till you need the nipple cream. Start using it right now and lash it on at every opportunity. Don't accept a crappy latch and don't let her crunch, it'll batter your nipples faster than you would think possible. Break the latch and then grab hold of your boob to funnel it and stuff as much of it as far down the back of her gob as you can. The good news- battered nips revive with good care and handling very quickly.

Oh, and by the way- 3 years into the future having mostly stuck to the cosleeping guidelines you haven't squashed her; also the first couple of times that she has a proper purplefaced hyperventilating ragefest you will vaguely worry whether it is possible for her to overheat and faint or seizure from pure rage....well it hasn't happened by the age of 3 so it probably isn't going to.

lavenderbluedilly · 09/08/2019 02:52

Don’t let the midwives browbeat you into persevering with breastfeeding, when it’s clear DS is becoming progressively more jaundiced and dehydrated. Might have then avoided the subsequent 5 day SCBU admission.

Frith2013 · 09/08/2019 03:27

Get divorced immediately. Don’t give it a year to see how it goes.

MrsTerryPratchett · 09/08/2019 03:37

She's not going to sleep, nothing will help, it's going to be a couple of years so just do whatever gets you through the nights and day.

Vagndidit · 09/08/2019 03:41

Put those child development books away and stop comparing your child to everyone else.

Sashkin · 09/08/2019 03:45

Don’t worry about getting back to exercise (it was for MH reasons not weight loss). Go for some walks instead, you’ll enjoy them just as much as going for a run and you won’t need to stress about DS.

Also don’t worry about classes until he’s six months plus, go to stuff like Mum and Baby Pilates and Lattes for yourself but he won’t care.

Sashkin · 09/08/2019 03:48

Oh yes and while the sidecar cot was great, you’ll end up doing some cosleeping for naps so just embrace it.

GailTheFish · 09/08/2019 03:51

Ignore the people who tell you to “love every minute”, they are deluded. And if someone offers to look after your baby while you shower/eat/sleep accept their help, they are not offering because they think you can’t cope.

Skittlesandbeer · 09/08/2019 05:01

Stop spending so much money on cute baby clothes and gear. You don’t know this, but it turns out you’re doing this because of anxiety. It’s ok to have baby outgrow something, without having 17 ‘backups’!

Plus, she’ll be 8yo before you sell it all on eBay... you’re bringing a lot of faff down on your own head, woman!