Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Friend wants her DH to come on all female holiday.

999 replies

Oldbutstillgotit · 16/06/2019 09:43

A few months ago a good friend , Anne, invited me and 2 other friends Barbara and Carol on holiday (These are not real names but I thought it would be easier than ABC etc) .
The background is that Anne has had a terrible few years and has needed a lot of support which we have willingly given. Thankfully she is now much better so decided that she wanted to treat us . She insisted that she was paying for a villa in the sun for a week plus flights . Very generous and we all said it wasn’t necessary but Anne really wanted to do this.
Further information, to avoid drip feed, is that Anne, Barbara and I have known each other for other 30 years since our DC were in Primary School. Anne knows Carol through a couple of interests but Barbara and I have met Carol several times and she has always been pleasant and fun.
Anyway, the villa and flights were booked and everything was fine. Until yesterday. I switched on my phone to a flurry of messages on our WhatsApp group, starting with Carol asking if it is ok if her DH comes on holiday ! Anne replied saying “ very funny, of course not”.
There are then loads of exchanges which are basically Carol saying that she has never been away from her DH for a week , the thought is making her anxious , he would be “ no bother” etc etc . To everything Anne has said no but Carol kept pushing. She even said that if they had the bedroom with the ensuite we would hardly see him !
I contacted Anne to see if she was ok . She was quite upset .
Yesterday afternoon, Anne , Barbara and I met for a coffee to discuss . Both Barbara and I said the decision was Anne’s but neither of us was happy at the prospect of a DH being there as it would totally change the dynamic.
The 4 of us are meeting for lunch later . Anne says she will cancel if Carol persists .
Anyone any suggestions ?

OP posts:
3luckystars · 17/06/2019 13:56

Is anyone else picturing the characters from a carry on film?

What a pair of chances, I'm embarrassed for them.

rosemarysalted · 17/06/2019 14:17

Carol is totally pathetic. I bet Dick wouldn't be happy if one of the other ladies bought their DH along whilst he stayed home.
It's so odd that Carol and Dick believe their choice of Dick joining a girls holiday is ok.
When my friends and me holiday together we spend lazy mornings in our nighties/PJ's. Swimsuits are always collapsing off us as we attempt to sunbathe without strap marks. Nighties back on early evening if we are not going out. Wander round in towels after showers. We chat openly and support each other, talk about our mutual past lives.
All this would change if we had a Dick with us.
How is Carol unable to comprehend this?? I'd really love Carol to come on here and explain- or someone who agrees with Carol.

rosemarysalted · 17/06/2019 14:18

I should add we are 60 + too.

thriftyhen · 17/06/2019 14:18

How imminent is this holiday, OP? Is there time for Anne to change plans? Seems like a nightmare situation!

S1naidSucks · 17/06/2019 14:22

Actually, I wouldn’t be at all surprised that Carol is lying about Dick already booking a flight. It’s possible she has said that as another manipulation trick, hoping you’ll all feel that you’ve no choice but to let him come. Stick to your guns.

Soola · 17/06/2019 14:24

@rosemarysalted

That’s exactly it. It’s just bizarre to want to bring your partner along.

LadyOfTheCanyon · 17/06/2019 15:03

I would say the take away message from this thread is that no woman should be expected to accommodate a Dick she doesn't want to. Wink

MsJaneAusten · 17/06/2019 15:09

All this would change if we had a Dick with us.

And

I would say the take away message from this thread is that no woman should be expected to accommodate a Dick she doesn't want to.

I just spat my tea out. Twice.

IrmaFayLear · 17/06/2019 15:12

I told dh about this thread and he was spitting feathers remembering when the same thing happened to him - a mate brought his wife along to the annual boys' weekend away. Dh said it did change the dynamic because even though the wife was supposed to be doing her own thing, the friend kept slipping in, "Oh, Linda's just round the corner at a cafe by the Brandenburg Gate," or "Linda's finished shopping and says she can join us for dinner!"

CaptainJaneway62 · 17/06/2019 15:24

I would say the take away message from this thread is that no woman should be expected to accommodate a Dick she doesn't want to.

Brilliant!!!LOL Grin

Roussette · 17/06/2019 15:29

If they're still going, that means that Anne has paid for a flight for Carol to go on holiday with her husband. Ridiculous!

Carol mucked it up so she should pay Anne back for the flight.

My Dick always pokes his nose in when us females get together. If his wife is due to be picked up, he turns up early and launches himself into the conversation! He even came along to our all female Christmas lunch! We didn't know this was going to happen because his wife was doing the organising this year so when he turned up, we just thought he was dropping her off. Then he sat down and proceeded to pull his cracker and put on his paper hat! His wife said 'he loves Christmas, he couldn't resist joining us! He's a pratt and they're both very very thick skinned.

Oldbutstillgotit · 17/06/2019 15:29

I’m back with an update !
Barbara ‘s husband ( who I will call Eddie) was in the pub last night watching golf with friends and told them about this situation as they know Dick. One of them said that Dick had been boasting in the golf clubhouse that he and “the wife” had managed to get a free week in Spain !
Barbara told Anne who was livid.
Anyway , this morning Anne contacted the villa people ( expat friend of a friend ) who has changed her booking ! The new villa is more expensive however Barbara and I are insisting on contributing . It is a few miles from the original one so if Dick and Carol turn up ( as many of you suspect they will )they are in for a shock .
Poor Anne didn’t need this but Barbara and I are determined to make sure she has a great holiday.
Thank you for all the helpful responses .

OP posts:
CupoTeap · 17/06/2019 15:31

Wow Shock

You will have an amazing time I'm sure.

Figgygal · 17/06/2019 15:32

Fucking hell
Go Anne though!!!

S1naidSucks · 17/06/2019 15:32

OMG! I love Anne! Anne for next prime minster! Do you want a young skitter tagging along? I’m only 51, so I could carry the heavy cases.

Is Anne going to tell the CF?

RandomMess · 17/06/2019 15:32

CFers at Theo most despicable!!!

I'm glad Anne found and funnelled her anger Wink

Gustavo1 · 17/06/2019 15:33

Wow Shock What a dick that Dick turned out to be!
So glad you have managed to change things. I hope you have a wonderful holiday which is now even better deserved!

BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 17/06/2019 15:37

I'm keeping my fingers crossed that Carol sends you an angry text after they turn up at the wrong villa just so that you can reply "I don't see the problem". Grin

WhiteLightTrainWreck · 17/06/2019 15:39

I'm living for the latest update!!!

Have an absolutely brilliant week away and I hope the new villa is perfect for you three!!!

Oldbutstillgotit · 17/06/2019 15:41

Anne’s inclination is to say nothing.
We do now think there is an issue with Dick bullying Carol but until she opens up theee is little we can do.

OP posts:
Warmhandscoldheart · 17/06/2019 15:45

😂 👏
🍹🍷☀️⛱️ Happy holiday

CoraPirbright · 17/06/2019 15:46

Dick had been boasting in the golf clubhouse that he and “the wife” had managed to get a free week in Spain

Shock. What a pair of cunts!! “Cheeky fuckers” is too mild!! I would definitely be cancelling Carol’s flight now!!

Disfordarkchocolate · 17/06/2019 15:46

Anna is one fine strong woman who has two amazing friends. I hope you three have a wonderful holiday.

NeverPutAWetFootInABirkenstock · 17/06/2019 15:47

Are Dick and Carol going to be on the same plane as you, Anne and Barbara? (OP, you are called Fiona in my head Grin.)

CaptainJaneway62 · 17/06/2019 15:48

Well he is a proper dick and Carol probably knows exactly what's going on with him! I doubt she is being bullied just an enabler of this guy's arrogant behaviour.
It's great that all three of you girls are keeping one step ahead of the CFs.
I hope you all have a wonderful holiday!

Swipe left for the next trending thread