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Original poster

Friend wants her DH to come on all female holiday.

999 replies

Oldbutstillgotit · 16/06/2019 09:43

A few months ago a good friend , Anne, invited me and 2 other friends Barbara and Carol on holiday (These are not real names but I thought it would be easier than ABC etc) .
The background is that Anne has had a terrible few years and has needed a lot of support which we have willingly given. Thankfully she is now much better so decided that she wanted to treat us . She insisted that she was paying for a villa in the sun for a week plus flights . Very generous and we all said it wasn’t necessary but Anne really wanted to do this.
Further information, to avoid drip feed, is that Anne, Barbara and I have known each other for other 30 years since our DC were in Primary School. Anne knows Carol through a couple of interests but Barbara and I have met Carol several times and she has always been pleasant and fun.
Anyway, the villa and flights were booked and everything was fine. Until yesterday. I switched on my phone to a flurry of messages on our WhatsApp group, starting with Carol asking if it is ok if her DH comes on holiday ! Anne replied saying “ very funny, of course not”.
There are then loads of exchanges which are basically Carol saying that she has never been away from her DH for a week , the thought is making her anxious , he would be “ no bother” etc etc . To everything Anne has said no but Carol kept pushing. She even said that if they had the bedroom with the ensuite we would hardly see him !
I contacted Anne to see if she was ok . She was quite upset .
Yesterday afternoon, Anne , Barbara and I met for a coffee to discuss . Both Barbara and I said the decision was Anne’s but neither of us was happy at the prospect of a DH being there as it would totally change the dynamic.
The 4 of us are meeting for lunch later . Anne says she will cancel if Carol persists .
Anyone any suggestions ?

OP posts:
BlingLoving · 17/06/2019 15:48

If Carol is telling the truth, the first part could be like my friend - Fran (just going with the letters here). She could easily get caught up in the moment and agree to such a holiday, only to realise afterwards that she would never cope without her DH while travelling internationally. She suffers from severe anxiety.

However, in that case, Fran would be sending grovelling apologies to Anne saying she can't come after all, offering to refund the cost of her ticket and share of the villa and would generally be feeling bad because she had accepted something that she wasn't actually up for doing.

Carol and her Dh are self-entitled twats.

Redshoeblueshoe · 17/06/2019 15:48

Bloody hell ! Dick really is a great of the first order.

Redshoeblueshoe · 17/06/2019 15:50

Ha my auto-correct has changed into my mother !
I said twat not great !

EL8888 · 17/06/2019 15:51

@NataliaOsipova loving your script!

Why would he be coming?! It’s a girls holiday after all. Asking at this stage is particularly ridiculous. Just say no. Offer no compromises e.g. he come for the weekend, stay nearby etc

bonnielassie1 · 17/06/2019 15:55

It’s great you changed the villa they definitely would have shown up

Drum2018 · 17/06/2019 16:01

Great news that Anne has managed to get another villa. She should delete the original whatsapp group now and the three of you just have a group message of your own. And ignore any and every message from Carol while you are abroad. She's getting a free bloody flight that she certainly does not deserve, she and dick don't deserve your company while away.

Soola · 17/06/2019 16:06

What a horrific man Dick is and I don’t believe his wife is bullied at all.

She has been married to him for years and would have known why he was like so she would have just declined the holiday in the first instance so as not to cause any problems for her friends.

tuxedocatsintophats · 17/06/2019 16:08

I'd seriously look to change the flights. You don't have to tell Carol a thing but I'd not put it past them to track you down at the new villa.

TapasForTwo · 17/06/2019 16:09

Brilliant update

MyOtherProfile · 17/06/2019 16:12

Wow this is amazing! When is the holiday? How long do we have to wait to find out if they turn up at the villa?!

tuxedocatsintophats · 17/06/2019 16:12

Then just delete her from your lives.

prettybird · 17/06/2019 16:13

What a brilliant result Smile

Leave the original WhatsApp group standing (so that the reposnes saying he was not welcome remain) but set up a new WhatsApp group with just the 3 of you.

And have a brilliant time! GrinFlowersWineGin

PS I have visions of Dick Head and Carol trying to cadge a lift to "the villa" because they're close by (not) when you arrive at the Spanish airport Grin You'll just have to tell them, sorry no room - and make sure if you're getting a taxi, that they don't hear the destination Wink And if you're hiring a car, make sure it only fits the 3 of you Grin

Megs4x3 · 17/06/2019 16:13

Anne's inclination is spot on!

BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 17/06/2019 16:14

Does Anne still have the flight details for Carol? Perhaps Anne could tell Carol that she will pass the flight information on to her once Carol has sent a copy of a confirmed accommodation booking.

Actually, no, it's more fun to let hoist themselves by their own petard and have to scramble for accommodation on the day of arrival.

MrsNai · 17/06/2019 16:14

Please do support Anne in cancelling Carol's flight. Xx

katseyes7 · 17/06/2019 16:15

My god, my OH wouldn't do that with a gun to his head, never mind voluntarily! l can't believe she wants him to go on a girls holiday!

sleepwhenidie · 17/06/2019 16:16

When is the holiday? We need an update of how it is going and how the flight plays out!

MaggieFS · 17/06/2019 16:16

Dick is a dick.

I'd be all for cancelling Carol's flight, but failing that, definitely don't tell them about the new villa.

And please do come back and let us know how it goes, OP. Have a great time!

GreenTulips · 17/06/2019 16:17

I think Ann should now cancel Ann’s flight and not tell her -see her face when she arrives at the airport with no ticket!

Ann should get a tax refund if nothing else

StormTreader · 17/06/2019 16:19

Wow! At least its even more clear now that you absolutely need to avoid sharing a holiday with this oaf, he sounds the type to start loudly demanding that you all confirm to HIS ideas of how things should be.

Original poster
Oldbutstillgotit · 17/06/2019 16:20

Holiday is at the end of June so not long to wait ! Taxi will meet us off flight.
Anne , Barbara and I have a new WhatsApp group and glad to say that Anne is much cheerier

OP posts:
tuxedocatsintophats · 17/06/2019 16:21

So are Carol and Dick going to be on the same flight over? Because you do know there's nothing to stop them following your taxi. People like this do not give up so you really need to sort this somehow before they simply carry on assuming they can ruin the holiday.

prettybird · 17/06/2019 16:22

Have a fabulous time. FlowersGinWineSmileCake

The good thing about having a pre-booked taxi is that you don't need to confirm where you're going even if The Dick and Carol are lurking Grin

SuperPixie247 · 17/06/2019 16:23

Its a crying shame that Anne wanted to do such a lovely and generous act but it will likely end a dear friendship Sad

JuneOsbourne · 17/06/2019 16:23

This is astonishing. Anne is definitely right not to mention the change of villa though. They will end up wrangling the details out of one of you and then you'll all be back to square one.

Hope you all have a lovely hols - don't let this palaver put a dampener on things!