What’s the biggest crime you’ve ever committed?

[Dollywilde]

Inspired by the Tories queuing up to declare whether they have or not - what’s the biggest crime you’ve ever committed? Or have you never committed a crime, Jeremy Hunt style? All infractions count, driving offences up to... well, anything you’re willing to anonymously admit on the internet.

I’ll start: taking class A drugs. I’m probably qualified to run for PM now

I accidentally stole a potato once.

I stole a comb from Woolworths in about 1965.

I accidentally stole a city guide from an airport, I had loads of things in my hand and picked it up, picked a second thing up which I put back and walked out! We had got into the hire car before I realised! With the language barrier couldn't face taking it back.

Have done a speed awareness course and had a ticket for driving in a bus lane accidentally, but that was due to a new road layout. I'm quite a boring and law abiding middle aged working class woman- so definitely not PM material!

I accidentally stole a coastal walks book from a national trust holiday cottage. That is probably treason!

Shoplifting as a teen.

Turning down a one way street (the wrong way as I lived at this end of it and could see it was empty.)

There was a marked (ie blindingly obvious) police car directly behind me. My crime wave was short lived.

In my early teens I accidentally stole a magazine from a teddy bear museum

As a child I stole a sweet from a charity box (!!) Still haunts me to this day...

I inadvertently stole an eyebrow pencil yesterday. Had it in my hand and was faffing about at the self service till and out it in the bag without scanning it.
Realised when I got back in the car and couldn't live with myself so went in an paid for it. The woman at the till was incredulous that I'd been honest about it

Didn't pay for ibuprofen in Sainsbury's once.
Having had the problem before I knew the self scan till wouldn't recognize the weight of it once scanned so I put them to one side, meaning to scan them at the end. I think I put my purse on them.
Paid, picked up my bags and forgot to scan the ibuprofen. Sainsbury's, I owe you 17p.

Inadvertently a necklace (cheap one not diamonds) I was Christmas shopping and there were no baskets available and I'd picked up a few items and as I was struggling to carry it all I slipped the necklace onto my wrist.

I do a mental approx tot up as I go around so I know roughly what the bill will be, went to till, cashier did their bit I even commented it was less than I thought it would be, cashier said some items were reduced in sale but not yet marked up as such so I put it down to that.

It was only when boarding the bus about an hour later the necklace caught on my bag and I noticed!

Mortified!

Dashed back to the shop and explained and gave the necklace to the cashier to process as she laughed saying "most people wouldn't have come back!"

Running through a field of wheat.

I was a kleptomaniac a few years ago. Couldn't go a day without having something. I used to get armfuls of clothes and shoes from the high street every week. I shudder now at the memory!!

I used to always fill up a bag of pic n mix at the cinema and then just take it into the film without paying (when I was a teenager).

Also done class A drugs a handful of times and smoked weed hundreds of times.

Smoking weed

There was the odd occasion when I had the buggy and my daughter would grab a pack of something off the shelves at Tesco and it would end up dropping in the basket underneath, I always went back though to pay for it or give it back!

I stole a pack of solid gold false fingernails from Harrods when I was 6!

And some other mid level shop lifting as a teen. Plus weed...

Skived train fares many times when younger too

No crimes since reaching my mid 30s

Reversed up a slip road when the radio said there was a 40 mile tail back. I followed everyone else but felt guilty for ages.

I managed to get into the Coliseum in Rome without paying.

Taking ecstasy as a teen
Getting tattoo as a 15year old
Shoplifting my weekend wardrobe every Friday afternoon after college.
I was really awful.
I am now a law-abiding citizen.

I vote twice a few times too!

can't believe no one on MN will admit to more than accidentally nicking something once

Accidentally nicked some lovely posh coat hangers from a hotel we use on occasion. Phoned them when I realised, they thanked me for being honest and told me to keep them. Another hotel at the weekend, paid the bill, had another look at it in the car and realised they hadn't charged us for quite a few things, husband went back in and paid.

Lots of weed in the past.

Arson

Drugs or shoplifting as a teen.

Am a good egg now, promise. Ie Ben went back in the Tesco to a very confused assistant because I forgot to pay for a twix.

Smoked weed (on Friday)
Did loads of class a’s (years ago)
Stolen things knowingly and unknowingly
Have sneaked into loads of national trust/similar places for free
Drank underage
Had sex underage (by three months!)
Pissed in the street a fair few times
Did a shit by a canal lock
Joy riding
Driven without a license
Rode a motorbike through an area they are strictly prohibited

Probably loads more that all make me sound like an utter lout, but actually each one had different circumstances and I am sure they didn’t impact anyone else seriously so....shrug

Aiding and abetting, handling stolen goods, weed and speed, shoplifting, speeding (car). All last week 😂😂

I took/smoked recreational drugs when I was at university.
I stole a copy of Patches magazine from the local newsagent when I was 13, I hid it under a Jackie mag.
I also recently inadvertently stole a pack of bacon from Morrison's. It was in the front bit of the trolley and I forgot it, until I got to the car and realised it hadn't been scanned. I went back in though to pay for it and they said just keep it, so my conscience is clear on that one!