What’s the biggest crime you’ve ever committed?

[Dollywilde]

Inspired by the Tories queuing up to declare whether they have or not - what’s the biggest crime you’ve ever committed? Or have you never committed a crime, Jeremy Hunt style? All infractions count, driving offences up to... well, anything you’re willing to anonymously admit on the internet.

I’ll start: taking class A drugs. I’m probably qualified to run for PM now

Selling class a drugs. And holding money/drugs for others; I'd look after and so get a cut. I'd be walking about with 10k of dodgy money in my handbag.

I lead a reformed life now. Have done since I was pg with my first.

On Christmas Eve I was pushing a pram and a trolly round a packed Tesco.

Got to the car and discovered a pack of nappies, 12 diet cokes and a large roasting tray on the bottom of the pram.

Couldn't face going back in.

Sedition. Not abolished as an offence in the UK until 2009! Think public protest.

Going on the train without paying when I was a student. Once there were ticket inspectors at my local station and the first dozen passengers beat them up in the narrow passage and the rest of us went past - I feel bad about that but there wasn't anything I could have done.

Glad someone else said arson first!! 😬

Shoplifting
Once accidentally hacked an Mac

My sister and I spent ages chomping through pick and mix in Woolworths once. My mum went bananas when she realised what we'd done.

Left a restaurant without paying...I thought my friend had paid while I'd gone to the loo, she thought I'd paid, We stood up to go, and I said "all sorted?" she said "yep" so off we went. It wasn't until next time we met for lunch and I asked for the bill and she said, "its my turn, you got it last time" that we realised neither of us had paid!

Dead boring really. I'm never going to be a criminal mastermind.

I often leave the house wearing socks with sandals. I hear that's pretty criminal.

I briefly stole and avocado as it blended in with the black mesh underneath the pram. Went back in and paid for it.

As an early teen I used to download music/movies off one of those sharing sites - Napster I think. I didnt know it was illegal until I read some articles about people being tracked down and fined. I stopped straight away but thought for years they would find me.

I stole two bananas from the supermarket a few weeks ago, they were in the bit at then end of the trolley and I put the bags on top of them as DS kept grabbing at them.

I only noticed when I went to load everything in the car.

Driving without insurance (never again)
Shoplifting in my teens
Underage sex
Underage drinking
Dodged a few train fares
Speeding

Now I'm in my 30s and a mum, I've calmed down. Significantly. Don't even drink that much now.

Aged about 7, my friend and I made a Plan to raid my mums biscuit tin. We wrote the plan down. She found the plan before we could carry it out. That was the end of both the play date and my crime spree.

Oh, and some underage drinking.

But not aged 7.

Accidental shoplifting - a big box of nappies that I had put in the basket under DS's pram and forgot about, and occasionally the handheld self scanners don't scan an item but beep anyway without registering it, and I don't notice until later.

I’m a member of the Labour Party, but I voted Lib Dem in the euro elections

Accidental shoplifting, probably.
Weed and underage drinking, I guess.
I've used other people's prescription medications, including once buying some, which I am ashamed of.

Oh, and once I planned to run away with a guy who was going to be on a "break" from prison? Although I didn't know his plan was to go awol and that our plans were very much against the terms of his release. Someone snitched on him and his "break" was cancelled, so that never happened - thank fuck.

Younger:
Drugs
Underage sex, drinking
Fraud

Older:
I accidentally stole a Christmas turkey from Tesco.

I shoplifted a lot as a teen, I've also done it a few times as an adult. I don't know why.

Once, I was in a public toilet and someone had left their bag on the hook of the door. I looked in their purse and there was about £300 in cash, which I took. I put the bag back on the door and left.

Accidentally stole a bottle of calpol from Asda when DC1 was a baby and teething horribly. I put it in the little compartment at the end of the trolley so I could access it easily when we were done shopping. Put my changing bag on top of it at some point and walked out without paying for it. Oops.

I’ve had a few public, outdoor wees

All my pillows and towels are from hotels

I have an impressive collection of Starbucks mugs and various, pub glasses.

Murder.

Went round a roundabout the wrong way (I was stopped by police)
It was a mini roundabout with no hump in my defence

Credit card fraud. When I was 17, I used my father's credit card without his permission or knowledge to buy plane tickets. We came to an understanding on that months later and, while I never did nor would I do it again, I have no regrets and accept the unethical fraud as a part of my history to get me somewhere safe as being to better me than being homeless with no support and few resources in a place where my death would at best not matter and worse be used by my parents or the wider community that let me down.

Also, not breaking and entering as I never broke-in (I knew which windows didn't shut well), but I guess trespassing, entering locked houses without the owners' permission. However, I was a minor and the owner was either my mother or my father who had locked me out, so I don't consider that a crime, but it might have been.

Mine sound worse than they are

Underage drinking
Insurance fraud
Tax avoidance
Possession of a firearm without a license - I didn’t know you needed one for high power air rifles

Haha, am loving all the 'accidentally stole' or 'inadvertently stole' comments - you bunch of thieves!

Well these are wild aren't they