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Original poster

Do you have problems? Would you like a solution?

999 replies

pineapplebryanbrown · 15/04/2019 15:48

Please come into my advice clinic. All my agony aunts are both untrained and insane. We WILL help you.

OP posts:
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37
KnitterOfSocks · 19/04/2019 18:55

I was just about to say, don't sober up for a while, but stay out of the sun in a cool bath.

SherlockHolmes · 19/04/2019 19:28

How do I stop my jeans from making a horrible clicking noise at the crotch when I walk?

New jeans, look smart but they're so fucking noisy!

DanglyTassles · 19/04/2019 19:30

Sherlock that's easy!

Cut out a big hole where the crotch is and start a new fashion for 'crotchless jeans'

Jamhandprints · 19/04/2019 19:33

I'm sick of piles of clothes everywhere. Dirty/clean/taken off because it's warm/wet and waiting for the dryer...They're everywhere I look.
Would it be wrong to have a big bonfire and burn the lot? Would I get in trouble at work for being naked?

Nowaypast · 19/04/2019 19:50

Oh thighlanders, I have had a dreadful few days. I've had to a) engage in real life and b) expend energy doing so. I really feel quite traumatised. Please help me dear friends.

Nowaypast · 19/04/2019 19:51

I haven't even been able to drink gin Shock. Making up for it now though.

DanglyTassles · 19/04/2019 20:00

Jam it's not wrong at all, why don't you just get a slanket and have done with clothes but no need to go naked at work. If they moan tell them at least you have your lady parts covered if not your arse!

DanglyTassles · 19/04/2019 20:02

Hello No ! But in more positive news, you are back again.

No longer on the wagon and are back in the game! Winning at life!

Cheers Gin

KnitterOfSocks · 19/04/2019 20:10

Jam I can recommend service washes at a launderette. We went without a washing machine for 10 weeks during an extension build. My husband used to take 4 large bin bags up to the launderette once a week and they would wash, dry and fold the whole lot. Was utterly amazing.

I still do this after we've been on holiday for two weeks, it's the best spent money EVER

Jamhandprints · 19/04/2019 20:11

Of course! Why didn't I go full time slanket years ago! Would ve saved me so much time and stress.

Nowaypast · 19/04/2019 20:21

Dangly I am back. And I never want to leave again.

Nowaypast · 19/04/2019 20:28

I'm a bit worried that my dc have landed up in bakedbeans garden. I'd like to apologise on their behalf if they have. And to ask if one of them can be sent home with gin.

thislido · 19/04/2019 23:56

Who the fuck is bakedbeans?

They were with the foxes until yesterday but the fair is on the heath this weekend and I think they’ve run away to join it.

Welcome back.

MrsCatE · 20/04/2019 04:27

Fuck RL shizz. Ta for call out Dangly but could never catch up, let alone another spate of identity theft. Much congrats on new portfolio of money making items and re-branding. The pube cards are inspired but let's not forget Reg's 'Bumtips'; the fact that the letters 'B' and 'M' are actual bums is pure genius.

Nowaypast · 20/04/2019 08:54

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/3564168-Help-How-to-get-rid-of-fox-family-living-under-shed

Bakedbeans (I expect I've spelt that wrong plus I don't know how to do proper links) is the op of this thread. But I'm relieved to hear they've run away this, far more job opportunities in the fair than under the shed.

Nowaypast · 20/04/2019 08:54

Oh! I did a proper link!

DanglyTassles · 20/04/2019 09:40

MrsCat I agree Reg is an awesone branding machine!!

Bumtips do need a revival they were an excellent range and shouldn't be discontinued.

I hate that when you have a favourite snack and it gets discontinued! Like for example Hedgehog flavour crisps! Where they go?

DanglyTassles · 20/04/2019 13:19

I fear thigh's wrath is upon me for spooning with Baker

Here is a humble offering in the medium of song for you thigh :

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 20/04/2019 14:19

Very good DT I'm so pleased Aerosmith have decided to sing about me, i think most bands have if you interpret the words correctly ie Skating On Thin Ice, A Whole New World, Xanadu, Summer Loving, Dancing Queen, Pie Jesu - all Odes to Thigh.

OP posts:
Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 20/04/2019 14:20

Not wrathing at your spooning, got lured outside by Ra.

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DanglyTassles · 20/04/2019 14:34

I'm am very glad to hear I was spared from the wrath of my beloved you thigh

I am also going outside to melt my own face now!

ProjectGainsborough · 20/04/2019 21:35

Here you are! Placemarking because you’ve all filled up 26 pages of sensible and worthy advice to the stricken. I bet Jesus is very pleased with you all.

ProjectGainsborough · 20/04/2019 22:07

Ok, so skimming, but just so you know ‘Are you threatening us or is that a genuine question’ is my new epitaph lido

Thank you for the weather thigh Hmm

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 20/04/2019 22:09

You're welcome Proj we were worried you'd been captured. We may have made elaborate plans to rescue you then forgot and came up with some new business plans.

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ProjectGainsborough · 20/04/2019 22:23

Pubes, genius. My phone wants to autocorrect that to ‘obesity’. Can we monetise obesity, because I’d be onboard?

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