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Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Do you have problems? Would you like a solution?

999 replies

pineapplebryanbrown · 15/04/2019 15:48

Please come into my advice clinic. All my agony aunts are both untrained and insane. We WILL help you.

OP posts:
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M3lon · 26/04/2019 16:55

have you checked in with the DP pissing on bathmat thread yet?

There are like 150 comments saying euwww...gross...LTB and one quite poster saying: well I piss in my clothes before they go in the wash

I think she may be one of us....

pineapplebryanbrown · 26/04/2019 17:14

M3 suggested she fight fire with fire and watch out for jizz.

OP posts:
AuntieCorruption · 26/04/2019 17:51

Yes she did didn't she thigh , I noticed that! Confused

pineapplebryanbrown · 26/04/2019 18:57

Update is that he pissed on mat due to stress.

Of course! We've been pissing ourselves for jollies since day one.

OP posts:
BlueSkiesLies · 26/04/2019 19:05

I have a problem.

I’ve come for a weekend away to visit friends and they have had a massive argument and there is a super tense atmosphere.

She keeps crying and he’s not talking.

I’ve nipped back to my hotel room ‘to get ready’

What should I do? Dinner is going to be super awkward!

ProjectGainsborough · 26/04/2019 19:08

A jovial grin and an insistence that they address ‘the elephant in the room’ will ensure that they unite in hating you rather than each other.

Alternatively you could just feign a migraine and stay in the hotel eating chocolate.

waxahatchee · 26/04/2019 19:27

Think I just went a bit far on the weird thread.
Lovely to see you over there thighsters!
*
Blueskieslies* Perhaps you could lightly bang their heads together and say ' right now let's move on' in a positive sort of way

AuntieCorruption · 26/04/2019 19:34

I just pissed on a mat in the weird behaviour thread.

Blueskies don't have dinner with them. Call for room service instead and seduce the waiter, pay him of you must. Spend the night romping around with the fit young man instead of seeing that miserable pair of bastards.

Maybe in the morning they'll have killed each other so will never know you didn't show up!

holly873 · 26/04/2019 19:37

My friend has a controlling ex. Today he grabbed her phone and told this guy she's been chatting to to do one and deleted his number from her phone.

pineapplebryanbrown · 26/04/2019 19:49

wax it's ok, i went back to the weird thread to help you style it out.

OP posts:
ProjectGainsborough · 26/04/2019 19:51

Crikey holly. Your friend probably needs to stop spending time with her ex. If you have significant concerns about her welfare, you could log them with the police. You’ll get some good advice on the relationships board, they are well used to situations like this.

ProjectGainsborough · 26/04/2019 19:59

I think we will end up killing the weird thread. I only really have time to give one thread my obsessive and frightening love.

waxahatchee · 26/04/2019 19:59

Thanks thigh. What a hero! I think we both come across as more normal now.

waxahatchee · 26/04/2019 20:02

Yes I was thinking that project. I'm going to leave them to it now with their silly imaginary lives. Who has time for all that daydreaming?

ProjectGainsborough · 26/04/2019 20:02

Exactly. Those eyeballs won’t suck themselves out. We are busy women.

DogHairEverywhere · 26/04/2019 20:05

I just joined you all over there ...and you all jump ship back here again.

AuntieCorruption · 26/04/2019 20:13

Do you think they are aware of us?

There seems to be some kind of futile resistance going on!

ProjectGainsborough · 26/04/2019 20:20

This is why I can’t do more than one thread. I keep posting on the wrong one.🤦🏻‍♀️

AuntieCorruption · 26/04/2019 20:26

Oh I get your comment now Project it makes sense over here! Grin

Well anyway I've just learned a new sexual position over there!

AuntieCorruption · 26/04/2019 20:28

It's an education I tell you!

ProjectGainsborough · 26/04/2019 20:29

What the FUCK.

Perverts.

AuntieCorruption · 26/04/2019 20:32

I was so shocked I wrote 'you're' eye!

I thought I was doing a card for a minute!

'Sorry you're eye got penetrated!'

AuntieCorruption · 26/04/2019 20:34

They actually ARE weird! Shock

Gosh I'm glad we're not!!

MrsCatE · 26/04/2019 20:39

Hello? MrCat problem still ongoing?

ProjectGainsborough · 26/04/2019 20:46

Hm. A thigh disguise. You might be less noticeable with fewer facial tattoos and not whiffing of piss.

What WOULD the perfect disguise be?