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Do you have problems? I can solve everything.

999 replies

pineapplebryanbrown · 07/04/2019 17:31

I am a non medically trained self appointed internet nurse. I can help with anything, please step inside my lovely advice clinic where my team of kindly Agony Aunts will cure you forever.

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CarolinePooter · 09/04/2019 21:24

And the old owner might come back for it, and it would be repossessed....you do not want that as it would be doubly demonic. Hence the priest. Hope this is clear.

DanglyTassles · 09/04/2019 21:25

Caroline , just out of interest what are the signs that a cock is possessed?

Does it have an odd look in it's eye?

pineapplebryanbrown · 09/04/2019 21:25

Perhaps a package deal, like a Hello Kitty stationery set?

BumTips n ShinyCock - we'll need an appealing logo.

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pineapplebryanbrown · 09/04/2019 21:25

Is it a cycock?

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DanglyTassles · 09/04/2019 21:26

Remember that 'knitted cock-out vicar' from the last thread? Would he do?

pineapplebryanbrown · 09/04/2019 21:28

OK - so that's decided. Thislido will be bearing, birthing and rearing the 40 children.

The 40 children is from The King and I - Siamese Twins/King of Siam.

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pineapplebryanbrown · 09/04/2019 21:29

And the cock shoes!

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CarolinePooter · 09/04/2019 21:37

Just be careful about the demonic cock. Get it blessed a lot before you start fathering children.

CarolinePooter · 09/04/2019 21:39

VERY IMPORTANT TO BLESS IT. DON'T FORGET

Do you have problems? I can solve everything.
pineapplebryanbrown · 09/04/2019 21:41

Is that you Pooter? You are so beautiful, so haunting.

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DanglyTassles · 09/04/2019 21:42

I'm scared now, I'm going to have dreams about a willy with those eyes I just know it!

CarolinePooter · 09/04/2019 21:44

Actually thigh That's me without my beauty sleep.

CarolinePooter · 09/04/2019 21:46

dangly , just bless the cock and don't worry.

thislido · 09/04/2019 21:49

It's the ones that aren't cycocks you have to watch.

If you want children you can go to Centre Parks with my child catching net, the mums net, woven from pubes. Then one of the scientists can genetically modify them to be Dog's offspring.

CarolinePooter · 09/04/2019 21:50

And you're aiming for 40, right?

myidentitymycrisis · 09/04/2019 21:52

What about some fertiliser then someone might be able to manage multiple births - would cut down on gestation times

Nowaypast · 09/04/2019 21:55

Could one of us carry 40 babies at the same time? I'd be happy to volunteer but my side access is very narrow and I'm not sure I'd fit

myidentitymycrisis · 09/04/2019 21:55

Prefer the netting though like the one in chitty chitty bang bang

I will donate all clippings

CarolinePooter · 09/04/2019 21:56

crisis you are right. Some decent compost and those wacky baccie lights would speed things up.

thislido · 09/04/2019 21:57

I notice no one has offered to donate their children yet Hmm

CarolinePooter · 09/04/2019 21:58

Or catching if you'd rather.

thislido · 09/04/2019 21:58

I'm getting adverts for advertising. It's all gone meta.

thislido · 09/04/2019 21:59

or grandchildren Hmm

pineapplebryanbrown · 09/04/2019 21:59

Thislido no need as we elected you as the bearer of bad news.

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CarolinePooter · 09/04/2019 22:00

Mine aren't cute any more, you'd not thank me.

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