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Do you have problems? I can solve everything.

999 replies

pineapplebryanbrown · 07/04/2019 17:31

I am a non medically trained self appointed internet nurse. I can help with anything, please step inside my lovely advice clinic where my team of kindly Agony Aunts will cure you forever.

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DanglyTassles · 09/04/2019 20:34

Oh yes thigh's got a pritt stick for installing the new livers in us, we'll shout her now:

waxahatchee · 09/04/2019 20:35

Dog My neighbour has a horse if you wanted a bigger one to try, I have the chainsaw to get it off.

waxahatchee · 09/04/2019 20:35

Crisis no probs with the pubes !

DogHairEverywhere · 09/04/2019 20:37

Well, i guess it'd get the job done quicker, but I don't know how much pritt stick, Thigh's got.

Would anyone like to be the first to volunteer to start the child bearing off? We've got to produce 40 of them.

waxahatchee · 09/04/2019 20:38

Fuck that

DogHairEverywhere · 09/04/2019 20:40

wax, who was that to? Crisis' pubes of being the first in line?

DogHairEverywhere · 09/04/2019 20:40

wax, who was that to? Crisis' pubes or being the first in line?

DogHairEverywhere · 09/04/2019 20:42

That was weird, my first post (with the typo ) failed to post, so i did a cheeky correction and now both bloody posts are there.

waxahatchee · 09/04/2019 20:42

I don't want to give birth again Dog

waxahatchee · 09/04/2019 20:43

I've saved her pubes

Nowaypast · 09/04/2019 20:43

Mr DF broke the incinerator. You can have his cock if you take the rest of him too

DogHairEverywhere · 09/04/2019 20:43

Well, we've got a hatchet, scythe or chainsaw, if that helps?

Funko · 09/04/2019 20:52

Don't forget my staple gun and laminator.

Anyone ever tried to laminate a severed cock?

Nowaypast · 09/04/2019 20:58

Yes. I used a fusion of herbs.

Nowaypast · 09/04/2019 20:58

Oh wait. Laminate? I thought you said marinade.

Funko · 09/04/2019 21:01

Interesting. How'd it taste no?

DogHairEverywhere · 09/04/2019 21:04

Actually No, that sounds like a much better plan for these severed cocks.
Ive had no one show any interest in bearing the 40 children.

CarolinePooter · 09/04/2019 21:05

funko the cock won't father any babies it it's laminated. Surely you remember at school when they laminated a banana to show you about VD? But a generous offer in other circumstances!

CarolinePooter · 09/04/2019 21:07

But why, thigh ? 40 babies is quite a lot of effort. Could you have just 20 but very large ones?

AgnosticBaker · 09/04/2019 21:09

"This thread has 666 messages."
We're living in the end times!

DanglyTassles · 09/04/2019 21:09

no I'm so sorry, I had no idea you were still saddled with Mr Dirty Faeces, never mind this is a sure fire way to get rid of him forever!

CarolinePooter · 09/04/2019 21:15

baker that's why we're trying to get a priest. He could exorcise our enemies!

CarolinePooter · 09/04/2019 21:19

dog if we had a priest he could bless your new cock and then it would work properly. It's the only thing that saves a transplanted cock from rejection. Look how frequently even normal ones get rejected - it is quite a widespread problem.

CarolinePooter · 09/04/2019 21:21

Also, you might get a possessed one, and that would be very dangerous.

pineapplebryanbrown · 09/04/2019 21:23

Yes, a blessed, laminated cock could be the answer to all our prayers. I think we need to have a mock up of this product.

Reginald that will be going in your in tray please. A mock up cock.

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