Do you have problems? I can solve everything.

[pineapplebryanbrown]

I am a non medically trained self appointed internet nurse. I can help with anything, please step inside my lovely advice clinic where my team of kindly Agony Aunts will cure you forever.

I was born in the Upper Midwest of the US.

I could make pineapple bars - do you have a whore one?

Petty have we to be concerned that my arse is the same colour as your soul?

Or my soul is the same colour as your arse...

Yes! That is also the case!

I always considered a ja to be more maroon than violet, but otherwise not bad

Now that I've observed you all from afar for a while, I have a problem for you to help me solve. I'd really like to join in on a series of ridiculous dumb bonkers interesting threads but I'm a lazy arse who can't be bothered actually posting much; I'd far rather be eating snax and drinking vast quantities of wine, so I'm not sure how welcome I'd be. I can be quite funny, especially after the vast quantities of wine.

PS, I'm not a 🍍or any other kind of fruit. I prefer chocolate.

Owlish are you Thigh's secret triplet sister? She's also a lazy arse who can't be bothered posting much, yet here we all are, worshipping her

Owlish why not give us a whirl?

Petty do you work for Farrow and Ball?

Lazy? I'm 17 fucking people, I'm all of you!

Are you being all the lurkers as well Thigh?

Take a good look around you, there's you and then everyone else is me. I've done 7/8/9 threads of this with just you and me here. I'm exhausted, i feel like Sybil.

You did all of this for me? I wuv u Thigh

Owlish don't worry about actually posting - just lie back and project your thoughts in the general direction of the thread. No need to be too precise or energetic, I'm sure we'll pick up your messages.

Hey, can I post a real question for 17 different fake Thigh's to answer?

Last year, at Easter, my littlest DC asked me why we have Easter eggs and bunnies. I told him it was to represent birth and growth and new beginnings. He asked "Then why do we eat them?"

I feel I have never adequately answered this question.

To fair, surely Thigh is allowed to do as she pleases given it's her movement, even if it is a bit shit? Did you see what I did there.

Do I have to wear a slanket, I'm not keen? I do have a lovely, comfy, stinky, ratty, fleece dressing gown I'm very fond of and I'm willing to piss in it to fit in?

Baker we do not have a whore flavoured cake bar. Could you make us an enormous amount of them please?

What did you think of my political analysis of The Troubles? Do you agree it was a snack based misunderstanding?

Baker since you're American can you tell me where to buy a chocolate Jesus via mail order please. I asked Getting but her language skillz are fairly poor (no offence).

Well done Reginald on doing a art, will we be using those colours in our BumTips which you are busy making a mock up product of in various flesh tones to include "Northern" and "Nubian Queen"? We'll be promoting and selling them in S&B.

Owlish i know your game, since i am you after all. Piss where you like, if you haven't got a slanket you'll have to wear a nappy, the choice is your's. I'm no dictator.

thigh. Many many hours ago, you asked if I knew what Alpaca meant and what OTBT was. I do know and now so do you (off the beaten track).

But the point of this post now is you called me FUCKO!

I think we need a herpes tone for people who have bum herpes. Getting can probably provide a picture.

Who put that apostrophe there? It's that whore pineapple 🍍 again.

Take it as a term of endearment, Funko.

Fucko thank you for pointing that out, i have worked out what otbt means but not why it was ever suggested. Ah well.