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Do you have problems? I can solve everything.

999 replies

pineapplebryanbrown · 07/04/2019 17:31

I am a non medically trained self appointed internet nurse. I can help with anything, please step inside my lovely advice clinic where my team of kindly Agony Aunts will cure you forever.

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pineapplebryanbrown · 08/04/2019 14:52

I can offer you a simnel cake, I'll only be eating Jesus themed food until May now.

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Gettingnowhere · 08/04/2019 14:55

One they all have to follow "procedures". We don't. That is how we will win

Gettingnowhere · 08/04/2019 14:57

They tick boxes. We live in boxes. They write on paper. We light fires with paper (and dried poo)

pineapplebryanbrown · 08/04/2019 14:58

Thislido I'd have to settle in the south as i do know a few phrases in Cantonese.

Go fuck your mother
Happy new year
Faster
Stop
Thank you

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thislido · 08/04/2019 15:01

Shh, Thigh, the Foreign Office will be snapping you up at this rate as a diplomat.

pineapplebryanbrown · 08/04/2019 15:23

Thislido yes, i agree. Those really are all the phrases one needs for everything.

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Pineapplewhore · 08/04/2019 15:31

Your all a load of sad stupid smug billy no mates in RL.

I, on the other hand, am an absolute whore of a slag of a chunky fruit who cannot stop putting myself about and gobbling random cock.

DanglyTassles · 08/04/2019 15:33

Phwooooooorrrr!!! 😍

pineapplecore · 08/04/2019 15:44

Your all so dumb and old bags. You talk about me all the time when I never even say anything about you too

pineappleslag · 08/04/2019 15:48

I think you are a whore, pineapplewhore you're a disgrace to the good pineapple name!

DanglyTassles · 08/04/2019 15:48

OMG!!!

I love you!!!

DanglyTassles · 08/04/2019 15:49

But then who do I love more? The core or the whore?? Confused

DanglyTassles · 08/04/2019 15:50

And now we have the slag!!

DanglyTassles · 08/04/2019 15:50

thigh ... is that you? Hmm

pineappleslag · 08/04/2019 15:50

Keep your filthy paws to yourself DanglyTassles I've encountered your type before, in whorehouses in Sidi Bel Abbas.

DanglyTassles · 08/04/2019 15:52

pineappleslag ...

I've been waiting for this moment all my life ...

pineapplecore · 08/04/2019 15:54

Im reporting all of you people on the thread for being bully's its not fair when all i did was say i didnt like you're thread

DanglyTassles · 08/04/2019 15:56

Pineapple, stop toying with my affections! Sad

pineappleslag · 08/04/2019 15:58

No way DanglyTassles I'm an exotic fruit and I'm waiting for the man from Del Monte to say yes.

DanglyTassles · 08/04/2019 16:00

pineappleslag , you are deluded, I AM the (wo)man of your dreams so stop pissing about and be my wife!

We can whore it all around the country together. I'm a right rum fucker! What do you say??

pineappleslag · 08/04/2019 16:04

Hmm, not sure, i think i can do better really. Pineapplewhore looks intriguing, i might give her a bash and get back to you if her cock is small.

pineapplecockmuncher · 08/04/2019 16:04

Well, I for one think that Dangly is fit and I would!

pineapplebryanbrown · 08/04/2019 16:08

G'day sheilas, who wants a go on my wallamaloo?

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DanglyTassles · 08/04/2019 16:09

Hey what ... wait ... stop all getting together!!

(and I can personally vouch for pineapplewhore's cock, it's massive! )

pineapplebryanbrown · 08/04/2019 16:10

Me old didgeridoo ya bunch a larrikins, who needs a rooting? Mind ya visit the dunny first cos have i got an inland taipan for you.

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