Is your life still shit? I can solve all your problems....forever.

[pineapplebryanbrown]

I'm a non medically trained self appointed internet nurse. As I am unfettered by knowledge or training I can help you to solve every problem you have. Step inside my lovely advice clinic which is staffed by myself and my team of kindly Agony Aunts.

Good idea dog. Bonus points for posting on the most non-thigh threads you can find.

I'm considering asking pineapple out I've got a crush on her.

A pineapple crush!!

Oh but wait I can't, I am so in love with my new filthy fuckboy of faeces. He's still holding me captive but I'm allowing it. Always considering the fun we shall have when we murder him soon.

I was wondering whether to chop bits of him off in advance of the killing for ease of hiding his body later on?

We could be really inconsistent too, one thread we are pro using bleach or whatever, then on another we are completely against it. We could have 5 dc on one thread, then none on another.

Ooh dog that is a good plan. But I would definitely crack under torture so I need something easy to remember!

Just fannying about on other threads and I found Thigh's house!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/3553134-Who-lives-in-a-house-like-this

I like the idea of a mum's net made out of pubes. God knows they seem to be banned in everyday life.

Oxygen do you go by Dr IRL to lord it over the gas board etc? Does your Mum insist on using it on your birthday cards?

We totally need a pube revolution. Guerilla warfare!!

getting don’t forget my house is actually on the market. I can’t believe you found it

I’m also enjoying the fact that getting wandered in on page 2 of the thread and told everyone to fuck off

Pooter, I have sandpaper hooves like your husband

Bloody hell Doghair with the amount of time you spent posting about people shopping in their PJs, you could have got ten Fuckboys home delivered

getting a farrier is what you need!

I like that house! People are so sheepy.

Oooh I'll melt if i have an avocado bath suite. Fuck it, best bath suite i ever had was salmon AND i had carpet in the bathroom, it was lush.

Was there a salmon in the bath, Thigh?

project I'll view your house, but there's a typo in the price!

getting we kept coal in ours.

I come from a long line of decor weirdos. For your delectation I'm going to describe my childhood home. The decor, the rest would tip pineapple 🍍 over the edge.

But was i pro shopping in your pj's or against? Or both?

I don't know Doghair. I saw the thread was full and couldn't be arsed searching for you in fine detail

dog you have proved my point re torture...find a opinion and stick to it, or getting will trap you!

Well, we can ask Pineapple, she'll know.

Yeah Doghair then I'll parade you around AIBU with a yoni balloon on your head before setting you on fire with a hot dog

Pooter, in future, i will be both for and against everything on every thread...then no-one can catch me out! Ha..that'll show 'em.

A yoni balloon on my head? Is that a tip from S&B?

I think i wore something similar to Ascot last year.