Is your life still shit? I can solve all your problems....forever.

[pineapplebryanbrown]

I'm a non medically trained self appointed internet nurse. As I am unfettered by knowledge or training I can help you to solve every problem you have. Step inside my lovely advice clinic which is staffed by myself and my team of kindly Agony Aunts.

Thigh taught me how to drive stolen police cars once. The flashing lights and sirens make everyone get out of the way. I also had to drive a bus with a bomb on it while farting at Keanu Reeves to repel his advances. I think I can handle a helicopter

Oh Doghair that was such a lovely post. I'm weeping into my slanket. You obviously weren't around at the time when Thigh was accusing everyone of being Second in Command to Oriental dictators

Can you fart to command Getting? I'm very envious if so. You've just reminded me that the man across the road said he'd take me up in his plane. Is it too late to knock tonight?

Do have the helicopter Getting I also found 🎠 , 🚘 and 🕌
My brainwaves have been stretched like piano wire and now only do pictograms 🗿

Farting on command is a dangerous game. One word. Shart.

Summer Man across the road will definitely not take me up in the air if sharting is on the cards.

Tbf, Getting, coming from Thigh*, that’s kind of a compliment.

noway you need to use your vag if it’s just the sound effect you’re after.

noway you definitely don't want shart on your cards.

You'd fart too if Keanu was going to blow up a whole bus full of Thighlanders because he couldn't help being a Fuckboy. Luckily, Thigh and Dangly rescued everyone using a string of sausages and we all went to the chocolate factory. Or something like that.

this in-depth instructions please?

Good call this

A vart.

In other news I predicted the birth date of a baby!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/3504540-Get-me-to-the-birth-on-time-but-I-dont-want-to-smell-of-fish-grin

Getting I'm not entirely sure I'd recognise Keanu, but ever since the episode of the one arm bandit jackpot, I have insisted on travelling separately from family. So highly unlikely I'd get on a bus full of fellow thighlanders.

Where's Dangley ? She'd be able to teach you to fart out of your vag. Shes a marvel with her vaginal trickery.

All these trips down memory lane. The moment I fell into unrequited love with Naked was when Thigh asked her "Are you Choi En Lai?" And Naked replied "No, I'm Sagittarius"

I would have provided detailed instructions noway but apparently I can’t do it anymore.

And the yoga lady advert is mocking my contortions.

Excellent Summer seems we can do some witch burning after all.... 😈

Were you here earlier Doghair? Dangly is in luv

I have the gift getting it's a blessing and a curse.

Ooooooo I’ll have Keanu if nobody wants him. I’ll crayon a certificate and keep him in my shed.

I saw that Getting, I don't think it will last, Dangley is a vag master, all this shitting on her new beau will soon wear thin.

this the yoga lady is hanging on a fine thread for me. Such a show off!

Petty have you read the book "Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus"? That, but Keanu not pigeon