Is your life still shit? I can solve all your problems....forever.

[pineapplebryanbrown]

I'm a non medically trained self appointed internet nurse. As I am unfettered by knowledge or training I can help you to solve every problem you have. Step inside my lovely advice clinic which is staffed by myself and my team of kindly Agony Aunts.

So sorry Midnight.

But if you'd like to be put off children forever, you could move two doors down from Thigh. She has a neighbour who is a childminder and has hundreds of the cheery brats waving at her from a wooden fortress. We've poured boiling oil on them and claimed their castle as our own

Waves at Hellen and wonders how that wall is getting on

oxygen and midnight You can have a great big handsy hug if you need one

Oops, meant sorry to Oxygen too.

Project Zog never got to be the doctor because the focus was on the princess wanting to be a doctor. Overthrow the patriarchy and all that. Zog was more of a guinea pig for Pearl's advancements in medicine.

We need to prefix royal baby's name with Dr for a girl.

Dr Adolf Kitten Slanket has a nice ring to it

Donaldson for a boy, because Julia Donaldson is a hero of mine. sits down with popcorn to watch Thigh getting jealous

oxygen and midnight I can think of lots of reasons not to have children but I don’t suppose listing them will help much

Would Dr be a title or part of it's actual name? I vote for the latter. Have we been informed of the sex?

Part of the name but spelled out in full as Doctor. Maybe better not at the front or end.

I'm not sure if Lord Sutch was "Screaming" on his birth certificate. Is there such a thing as a common- law title?

oxygen midnight you are fab Thisters! We're all equal under our slankets, however shit RL can be ((smelly hugs))

Thislido yes, in the middle, perhaps hyphenated? Pretend-Doctor

Pooter Sutch must be ancient now, another one of your inamoratos?

How should I have declined that? Masculine and plural - inamorati?

Hopefully you didn't go to school with Anne and can decline a verb.

When i were a lad we didn't have proms at school, this is because i am not American.

What I had was a disco in the school assembly hall and i borrowed my sister's top and gave Paul from the remedial class a hand shandy in the greenhouse.

I can assure you that, should I have requested a limo, my parents would have pointed to my shopper bicycle and there would have been no more said.

thigh you only get a hug from a Bachelor’s mug.

thigh what I admire about you is that every time I think we can’t possibly reach a new low, you find it.

When my shopper broke i would phone my friend Helen, for she had her Mum's old shopper too. Helen cycled a mile to my house to collect me and cycle me where i wanted to go, it wasn't comfortable sitting on the shopping bag bit. I wonder if that was the birth of uber.

Project thank you, I'm still going easy on you all. I have a lot more depths to plumb.

How i loved Paul, he was stupid but he had beautiful hair and a fishtail parka.

They didn't teach them remedial class but used to get them to do the gardening. Paul used to position himself outside my top set English class and eat raw onions to impress me. I would drop filthy notes to him out of the classroom window.

Thighsey, Thisey, give me your answer do.
I'm quite bonkers but can't really blame you.
It better be a be a sty-ish marriage ,
Coz I can't afford a carriage.
But you'll look sweet,
Upon the seat,
Of a bicycle made for two.