Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Is your life still shit? I can solve all your problems....forever.

999 replies

pineapplebryanbrown · 03/04/2019 21:48

I'm a non medically trained self appointed internet nurse. As I am unfettered by knowledge or training I can help you to solve every problem you have. Step inside my lovely advice clinic which is staffed by myself and my team of kindly Agony Aunts.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
30
Gettingnowhere · 05/04/2019 23:03

I think that's how I ended up getting sexed going down a chute

Gettingnowhere · 05/04/2019 23:04

Ooh, I forgot! I was going to put out another call for baby name suggestions. Has she had it yet?

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 05/04/2019 23:04

Myfanwy Slanket Merkin Kitten.

Unisex.

OP posts:
Gettingnowhere · 05/04/2019 23:07

Camilla Myfanwy Slanket Merkin Kitten for a girl

ProjectGainsborough · 05/04/2019 23:07

Stalin or Adolf would work nicely

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 05/04/2019 23:08

Later this month, has she porked up yet?

OP posts:
Gettingnowhere · 05/04/2019 23:08

Project have you and Thigh been having pillow talk again?

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 05/04/2019 23:09

Stalin Adolf Camilla Myfanwy Slanket Merkin Kitten

OP posts:
Gettingnowhere · 05/04/2019 23:09

Harry porked up, Thigh. That's how the baby was made

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 05/04/2019 23:11

Did Harry chuck his sausage up her slanket?

Can't trust a preggo who doesn't double in size at the end and become a zorb.

ZOG!!!! After King Zog of Albania.

OP posts:
Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 05/04/2019 23:13

I could really do with a sausage roll and some twiglets.

OP posts:
ProjectGainsborough · 05/04/2019 23:14

Have we already had Stalin and adolf? I feel like I’m missing out from all those pages I skimmed.

I thought zog was a medically trained dragon?

ProjectGainsborough · 05/04/2019 23:15

I’d send the dark lord but the selfish bastard has gone to sleep

Gettingnowhere · 05/04/2019 23:19

Princess Pearl and Sir Gettabout were medically trained. Zog was just the transport

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 05/04/2019 23:19

King Zog of Albania.

Stalin Adolf Zog Slanket

We add Kitten on the end if a girl.

OP posts:
Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 05/04/2019 23:20

Project jingle your keys, he'll spring into action.

OP posts:
Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 05/04/2019 23:21

I miss Dangly the filthy whore.

OP posts:
ProjectGainsborough · 05/04/2019 23:26

Did zog never get to be a doctor? That is so species-ist. I should have thought the ability to sterilise things on the spot by breathing fire on them and sharp claws would be a plus.

If Harry and Meghan don’t at least put Adolf or Slanket in there I’m becoming a republican.

MidnightBlue28 · 05/04/2019 23:27

What’s that old joke... “I like kids but I couldn’t eat a whole one!”

🧛‍♀️🧛‍♀️🧛‍♀️

LosingOxygen · 05/04/2019 23:37

Ok "fuck fuck egg" bought, OH upgraded to Fuckboy and problem solved! Now I can get on with napping and eating cake tomorrow, all the important stuff. Alas I have no slanket but I have 2 blankets and a dressing gown at the moment, and I don't plan on getting dressed tomorrow or move very far from the sofa. Any suggestions on things I can do without leaving the house?

LosingOxygen · 05/04/2019 23:45

Ok one more. Can you put me off children please? They are proving damn near impossible to make. Sad

LosingOxygen · 05/04/2019 23:50

I should add we can't do it the fun way!

MidnightBlue28 · 06/04/2019 00:45

Losing being serious for a moment, I’m so sorry to hear that. I had to accept that I was never going to have them, and it’s hard, I wish I could say it wasn’t. Flowers

hellenbackage · 06/04/2019 00:58

Ok I'm a detective but I keep
Losing you lot and work and rl keeps getting in the bloody way.

So a quick wave at every one ✋

And back to rl.

LosingOxygen · 06/04/2019 02:10

Sorry to hear that midnight 💐