Is your life still shit? I can solve all your problems....forever.

[pineapplebryanbrown]

I'm a non medically trained self appointed internet nurse. As I am unfettered by knowledge or training I can help you to solve every problem you have. Step inside my lovely advice clinic which is staffed by myself and my team of kindly Agony Aunts.

I'm just taking notes for the next time the fair comes to town... Do I iron the same cocks that I'm doing the hand shandie on, or do I have to line up a few fairground fuckboys? I'm just thinking, the cocks might be too hot to handle after they've been ironed.

There’s not enough skittish laughter these days. I should really do it more.

Suki I am about to give you thighland’s first Good Houskeeping tip. Throw bleach around the shower. Your silicone seals will rot and you’ll get chemical burns next time you ablute, but your grout will be clean if that’s your priority.

Multitasking has never been so much fun, Thigh. I am laughing winsomely and I am am ironing members like there is no tomorrow. Thank you Thighland, you have truly changed my life. Ooh, I can see pretty flashing blue lights driving this way. I think they may have heard of my new-found walza ironing prowess

Thigh,Thigh, come quickly...Project's talking about USING BLEACH

It’s probably hellen, our resident copper

Bleach, Project. Bleach?? Last night I said you were out of touch, but this is taking things too far.

VOTE OF NO CONFIDENCE!

When you think about, Thighlanders, bleach should be the first weapon in our arsenal. Good at getting rid of so many things, mould, poo, fingerprints...

No!!! We don't think about bleach!!!

Thank you, Project thankfully I always have a thermos full of bleach for unexpected bathroom related requirements so will try that on the grout just as soon as this nice officer has finished taking my statement. As advised, have been very winsome and also flicked hair quite a lot but they still look pretty darned frowny. I fear I may have been mislead on the function of the iron shaped thing. Damn that turbo steam function.

You’re all so fickle. You’re all over the cock-ironing ideas, but just the tiniest whiff of bleach and you’re calling for a coup.

Hey weres dangly been?

The bleach was for cleaning. The iron was for torture. There's a difference. Subtle difference, but still a difference

Lone Where hasn't Dangly been?

Project has the Dark Lord in Training been interfering with your brain? Did you wake up this morning with a probe sticking out of your skull?

I don't have a slanket but I do keep seeing ads on FB for a Gravity Blanket.

Which should I buy?

Indie do you often go up into outer space? The answer may help us with your decision.

Indie are there anti-gravity blankets? That could be fun

Dangly has taken her fanny on tour on a fanny show.

It’s my old body-disposal habits getting the better of me.

What is a gravity blanket?

Also where is Dangly? Can we activate our stasi network to find her?

Ah, apparently there is a Thighland secret handshake. Why didn’t you say? Having tickled the palm of Hellen and the fellow officers, I was then required to follow the required ritual and hopped on $¥€§§ and then carried out three *@£#& after intoning the poem %@#&& backwards before singing ‘We are family’ in $[€{¥~. After that they immediately said I could go but they did retain the thermos of bleach since apparently it is abhorred in Thighland. Cocoa and an early night for me now. Grout can wait for another day. I will carry your Thighland winsome skittishness into the weekend.

I see thigh answered my question before I asked it. Sinister

@dog I rarely actually go into space

One Gravity Blanket

But what does it do?

I mean, if it weights you to the sofa, you can probably do that yourself by just not moving.

I find a family size pack of monster munch followed by a 'sharing' (wtf is that all about) bag of minstrels has a similar effect in securing my firmly to the settee.