Is your life still shit? I can solve all your problems....forever.

[pineapplebryanbrown]

I'm a non medically trained self appointed internet nurse. As I am unfettered by knowledge or training I can help you to solve every problem you have. Step inside my lovely advice clinic which is staffed by myself and my team of kindly Agony Aunts.

See top ad. Jaw wrench, more like it

Did he nlp you into paying?

I used to work with an nlp guy whose favourite sayings were ‘assume makes an ass out of u and me’ and ‘there’s no I in team’.

There is a cunt in nlp, though.

Jobs, tea and psychic readings.

I feel like you don’t know me MN.

Thigh, you're not in Texas, but is Texas in you?

Project no, worse than that he was "testing" me. He said "I'll sit here and you can get the tea" i said"I'd love to, you get comfy. Cake, sandwich? Oh come on, you look peckish. I'll buy it for you, don't be shy". At the end he said "I'll expect your call" hilarious.

To gin or not to gin. That is the question.

It's not a question Lone when you already know the answer

The answer is the only mixer I have is pepsi and the only gin I have is pink. Today I am a failure

Am currently on the waltzas. Finding it difficult to smile winsomely while spinning and trying to work out what to do with the iron thing brought with me. It is interfering most tryingly with shandies, hand or otherwise. I fear the advice in Thighland does not always help with such real world situations. As for lowering my standards re grout and bathrooms: if standards are reduced any further I’ll be living in an otter holt with a slankit made of earwax. No thank you.

There's a ME in team - doh.

No Texas in me, Texas can have me anytime though, it's huge.

Lone after the first glass you won't notice

I wonder if we can start using NLP. I might try finishing all conversations with ‘I expect you never to call me.’

I fear the advice in Thighland does not always help with such real world situations.

Blasphemy!!!

Gin lone, gin

Wolf could you mix the gin with baby formula? Fair shares innit.

Suki try ironing their cocks. Not quite sure where it will get you but I look forward to hearing the update

Suki you took the iron with you as a weapon? Good, well done! As the waltza spins ever faster let it fly so you don't have to give out too many hand shandies. Knock out a few of those fairground tykes. Remember not to grimace, look winsome!

Project many thanks for the tip. They are currently squealing with delight. Well they’re squealing. Will turn steam function off and see what that does. Oh, they seem to prefer that quite a bit.

Oh Project you really are one of the good managers, so incisive.

Iron their cocks she barked Kylieishly.

thigh i could, but mixing a bottle is too much hard work. The blood of my enemys may work though.

Tesco ad! Thank fuck.

Thigh, re hand shandies I’m afraid the horse has well and truly bolted as far as that’s concerned. Am trying to look winsome but it’s quite difficult whilst spinning and cock ironing at the same time. I do wish I’d opted for scrubbing the grout now.

Suki you must multitask when on a cock ironing mission. Iron, shandy, iron, shandy - winsome all the way. Toss your head back really far and laugh skittishly.

Lone make sure when you're collecting the blood of your enemies, you don't get any on your freshly scrubbed carpet, you don't want to be doing That again.

Dog wise words, ill take them to the shed, its dark in there and full of spiders, perfect.