Is your life still shit? I can solve all your problems....forever.

[pineapplebryanbrown]

I'm a non medically trained self appointed internet nurse. As I am unfettered by knowledge or training I can help you to solve every problem you have. Step inside my lovely advice clinic which is staffed by myself and my team of kindly Agony Aunts.

What would Hitler say (great orator, true dog lover)?

To truly deserve the future we must tear asunder the past.

Possibly, summat like that.

It's ok Lad I'm not sure i am. I stopped for a very long time at a level crossing earlier and said to myself. "now that's a long train" and then realised i hadn't said that since God were a lad.

I’ve been cleaning again today... so much for spending the week fully embracing my inner Thigh... I fear I need an Thintervention!

midnight It's the blasted sunshine. Tape newspapers over all your windows.

I thought we gave pan several good options - tattoo her daughter head-to-foot; let her learn a trade; or send her to boarding school. I don't have a cure for snobbery. Next time she could just send the child along with some books, then she can read at whatever dreadful place she is taken to.

PH03 the trick is to get yourself institutionalised. Is that an option?

Thigh re names, I fear am much less well read than I appear at first glance.

I'm trying to recall Anne's schooling. She was so unbelievably wet. Perhaps she had a governess?

Should we follow her to other threads, continuing to apologise?

It might look a bit.. harassy?

This is not OLD. It is OLS(alvation)

With a bit of salivation thrown in.

Sunshine annoys my inner vampire... but no one will believe me 🧛‍♀️

bite them, then they can be annoyed with you.

Haha i have another problem now - i feel the want to read all of these funny threads but the twunts i work for expect me to work instead!!

PH we're not joking, we're extremely serious about Thighland.

OLS&S

this I’m not sure if I’m ready for the responsibility and stress of minions

My Russian poisoner texted a suggestion for a 'picky' tea.
So I've bought palma ham, pate, cheeses and a tin of pear quarters.
All for me.
I've just tied him to the chair, I'm going to eat my TEA whilst telling him just how much he's gotten on my nerves over the years.
No bone will be left unpicked.
He knows this will cheer me up, he luffs me.

#truluff

The 'l' is next to the 'r' on my phone, it's a Russian undercover phone.
I didn't misspell Parma ham, certainly not, no.
Nope, didn't happen.
I was loosening him off a little, he was blue round the edges and my finger slipped.
That's all.
That's all it was.
I'm not stupid, I'm simply multitasking.
It's his fault.
Bastard.

Lad relax, with our focus on reverse improvement we care nothing for typos and mis-spellings, there are no pedants in Thighland.

Midight had no idea vampires were hierarchical. Certainly don't bite anyone if it will make you a 'manager'.

Thislido harrassy? It's nice, to chase someone screaming sorry, come back, I'll change!! Surely?

I love my dog but why does he always sit on my shoulder? And fart. I don't like to offend him by moving him, but it's awkward.

See! Bat control

this oh yes, totally hierarchical. There are clans, elders, fledglings, minions... I would definitely end up being a ‘shudders’ manager!

Can anyone explain why i would be interested in Texan bat control?

Texan vampire bats perhaps... probably my fault... sorry Thigh

Can anyone explain why i would be interested in Texan bat control?

Well a lot of Thighland is about pest control. I’m puzzled by the word ‘humane’, though.

True, it's called humane bat exclusion.