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Original poster

Is your life still shit? I can solve all your problems....forever.

999 replies

pineapplebryanbrown · 03/04/2019 21:48

I'm a non medically trained self appointed internet nurse. As I am unfettered by knowledge or training I can help you to solve every problem you have. Step inside my lovely advice clinic which is staffed by myself and my team of kindly Agony Aunts.

OP posts:
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Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 05/04/2019 11:45

I think it's Lalage de Winter

OP posts:
Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 05/04/2019 11:47

Number 2, Thislido Lalage or Imogen?

OP posts:
Gettingnowhere · 05/04/2019 11:47

Pan I understand you do not want your daughter hanging around in tattoo parlours. But unfortunately you've asked for advice in a place that even Jeremy Kyle won't lower himself to. Maybe try AIBU?

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 05/04/2019 11:48

Imogen was an uncommon name then.

OP posts:
Gettingnowhere · 05/04/2019 11:53

Pan, Thigh has just taken herself off for a little nap. She apologises for her behaviour. She's been a little bit temperamental at the lost of one of our long-standing Thighland members, Danglytassles.
She tells me we all need to be accepting of everyone who asks for our help and not try to banish them to AIBU

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 05/04/2019 11:54

Nobody has answered me. Is this OLD? If not, why am I being so pleasant?

OP posts:
Gettingnowhere · 05/04/2019 11:55

Shhh Thigh. Just lie down again. There's a good little megalomaniac

Pantone333 · 05/04/2019 13:17

I cannot take my Jeremy Kyle girlfriend tattooing problem to AIBU. I fear there is no help and your thread title misled me.

M3lon · 05/04/2019 13:58

I thought we were considering 'there is no bumhole'

We could start from this fetching coat of arms...and embellish...with slankets, snax, and bumtips...

Is your life still shit? I can solve all your problems....forever.
PH03b3 · 05/04/2019 14:16

Can you solve the problem that work is absolutely shit? But i like food and having a roof over my head. Maybe i could squat?

PH03b3 · 05/04/2019 14:20

Could i ask - as im too lazy to read the past threads. What's theighland!?

M3lon · 05/04/2019 14:30

theighland is a hell dimension with a rather low trip advisor score.

thighland on the other hand is a wonderfully welcoming virtual environment for people who have had enough of striving and self improvement and simply wish to collapse into a nice warm slanket and eat some snax.

Regarding the work problem, could you make your work your hobby by going into the eating food industry or the roof building industry?

TheLoneWolfDies · 05/04/2019 14:34

I think I've gone mad, I have been cleaning since 8am. I've even scrubbed my sitting room carpet on my hands and knees and have only had one coffee all day. Whats happening to me!?

Gettingnowhere · 05/04/2019 14:35

You're right Pan, they are always BVU over there. IWBU to even suggest it. throwing myself at your feet in apology
If your ex is going to get your DD tattooed, I think you need to mark your territory and get "Mum" with love hearts tattooed over every inch of her body

DogHairEverywhere · 05/04/2019 14:37

Lone does your carpet need scrubbing after what you did last night, to 'earn' your Snax?
Really, you must resist this urge to clean and instead reverse improve into your slanket as a true Thighlander does.

Gettingnowhere · 05/04/2019 14:37

PH03 we are the women that Jeremy Kyle refused to have on his show due to our crassness.
Do you have a "manager"?

TheLoneWolfDies · 05/04/2019 14:41

Dog not quite, the baby decided to betray me and shit on the floor, then I just couldnt stop scrubbing. The snax payment was quick and to the point. No fucking about!

I'm making myself a giant cup of coffee, sticking baby in his bouncer and going to have a well earned smoke. I must be losing my inner thigh. Must. Relax!

Gettingnowhere · 05/04/2019 14:52

Don't worry about her future prospects Pan. We'll look after her in Thighland. "Jobs" and "husbands" are unnecessary and we all have facial tattoos

Gettingnowhere · 05/04/2019 14:55

M3 those legs on your coat of arms give the impression of "running" and "pointless exercise". Or are they supposed to be Dangly's Chinook impression?

LadAlive · 05/04/2019 15:30

Please wait Pantone333 Our Glorious Thigh will be back after her nap.
She was rambling earlier, she'd been awake too long and her powers are so intense and dynamic that she becomes drained of energy really quickly.
She will have a solution to your problem, tbf though I do think Getting's suggestion is perfectly acceptable.

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 05/04/2019 15:39

I'm devastated at how terrible we were to pan. Should we follow her to other threads, continuing to apologise?

OP posts:
LadAlive · 05/04/2019 15:40

PH03
In the absence of our Great wise Thigh my suggestion is that you kill your boss, if you're self employed just a random bone idle fuckboy or you could hang around the back doors of Tescos and do Mr.Shit in, he deserves it.
We could help you with body disposal but if you let yourself be caught by the police you will be imprisoned for life.
Et Voila! Roof over head and 3 square meals a day.

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 05/04/2019 15:41

This is why pineapple hates us, our joy has made us immune to other's misery. What can we do to remember how terrible life is for pre-Thighlanders?

OP posts:
Gettingnowhere · 05/04/2019 15:41

I think it's a sign, Thigh

Is your life still shit? I can solve all your problems....forever.
LadAlive · 05/04/2019 15:42

Pardon me Thigh, so sorry, I didn't realise you were awake.