Is your life still shit? I can solve all your problems....forever.

[pineapplebryanbrown]

I'm a non medically trained self appointed internet nurse. As I am unfettered by knowledge or training I can help you to solve every problem you have. Step inside my lovely advice clinic which is staffed by myself and my team of kindly Agony Aunts.

Exactly! That’s what I meant by beyond children. In particular, ‘men’ and ‘managers’ love assault courses!

Might need a different scarring or MILs? Mine would be never have gone for an assault course. Luckily she was the other side of the Atlantic Ocean.

Not scarring! Scenario. Of course we would never deliberately scar anyone. We accept no liability for participants on out assault course.

Getting frozen corpses (I have no integral garage, plastic sheeting, fuckboys or pigs!)

Team building exercise This
What do you mean we would never deliberately scar anyone? Oh, you mean a clean murder. Less mess. Got it.

As for MILs, tell them their darling sons are trapped in the assault course and need their mummy. That'll lure them in.

Midnight not on your own property!!!! Use someone else's freezer for goodness sake! Don't you remember the mess we got in when some Thisciples decided to hide the bodies in their own overgrown gardens? We needed an emergency pig delivery to get us out of that one. Call yourself a lurker. Hmmph.

Yes and team building events will raise some Thighland Yen.

Exactly - scarring = botched murder

Midnight of anyone questions the contents of your freezer you must blame Iceland deliveries.

Fast help required!

Please don't think I'm after turning it into a S&B one-stop shop but:

Bum hair up or down for next performance? I'm on at 10 am, got the early spot as apparently only my act is unique enough to capture interest at 10 am!!

So what yo do with the bum hair this time? Plaits?

Maybe fanned out? Like a peacock tail? With some spray on dye?

My life is very boring, so I never label home cooked meals or leftovers. I play Freezer Roulette If a dead body turns up occasionally, I would be only mildly surprised, especially if midnight is my neighbour. "Never explain, never apologise" is my mantra.

Cowgirl plaits since we have a Texan theme happening this thread?

These are the corpses left over from before I was a Thisciple... Iceland do deliver so...

Dangly you’re doing your Chinook impression again... take care or this may happen:

dangly I agree with lido do it peacock style and shake your tail feathers like a proper showgirl. When I worked at the Windmill Theatre we had to stand stock still. Those were the days!

If you painted your rugby balls to look like eggs, you would be sure to confuse your audience... They'd all be asking themselves- a peacock laying eggs?

Thislido re loss of definite and indefinite articles. Yes, it's very suspicious and Russians are worthy foes, i like them, they quickly turn to violence and woda.

Violence and woda? Do you mean Yoda? That would explain the grammar

Dog i love the idea of DT painting her rugby balls but thought you said eyes 👀 which would be even better. DT could pop two rugby balls up there no bother. After giving birth to a 12 year old stepson *DT is very capacious.

You certainly couldn't open a bottle with her yoni

I did a screenshot! Joy!

Now i can make everyone look through my eyes too, I'm so happy!

Oooh, teach DT too, then we could get exclusive shots of the Peter Stringfellow memorial tour from inside her yoni

Gives a whole new meaning to cervical screening, doesn't it?

DT learned how cos she did her username history.

I had to hold my power button and volume up button at same time.

I bet that was thrilling for you Thigh

If she has any muscle tone left at all, she could have the eyes peeping out, before retreating back inside. That would freak them out!