Is your life still shit? I can solve all your problems....forever.

[pineapplebryanbrown]

I'm a non medically trained self appointed internet nurse. As I am unfettered by knowledge or training I can help you to solve every problem you have. Step inside my lovely advice clinic which is staffed by myself and my team of kindly Agony Aunts.

Please don't tempt me to learn new things, thigh It never goes well.

dog she could charge extra for eyes.

Now that i can do screenshots the texans have gone, they'll be back.

Texas Texas texas

Handcuffs? Manacles? What is this advert for?

See, who the fuck is this guy

Caroline why are you learning new things? Don't you have a husband? Surely you shouldn't have to worry your pretty little head about things such as screenshots when there is a man around.

I wasn't going to return, but I have a dilemma and was hoping you'd sorted out your nonsense by now.

My darling Mr Shin-to-be has announced he must make an emergency trip to Las Vegas. He says there's an issue with the slots and he must test out each and every one of them. At least, that's what I thought he said. He sounded somewhat worked up on the phone. Poor dear. He really does take his health and safety responsibilities very seriously.

How do I survive until his return?

Thigh... it's not MrShit is it?

Dog i haven't a clue. Do you think he looks like an off duty Hells Angel?

Shin try putting your head in a bucket. We'll tell you when he returns.

Shit everyone fucked your bloke round the back of Tesco after he posted dick pics.

Also, shin I'll have you know that MrPooter is unable to work anything manufactured in the last 40 years, so his head is the "pretty" one!

On my advert has anyone noticed there's a woman gagging at the top?

Getting look it's you!

And he still has all his own teeth and body hair (plus extra) . I hear mrshin is a bit lacking in the nostril and ear department. He's not as manly as you think he is!!

Dog i think they're wedding rings, that's offensive.

Getting do you think success and fame has changed me?

I have no idea what you're all talking about. Mr Shin-to-be shops at Sainsbury's

Only because he's now banned from Tesco's. Didn't you wonder why? Wise up, shin

There are posters up in Lidl as well.....he is a known undesirable!

He's not at Tesco or Lidl because he has STANDARDS. Unlike all of you. Making up disgusting lies! I came here for advice and I've been insulted yet again.

Well shin we were only trying to help you. Don't blame us when you see his dick pics plastered all over the local Co op. The security guards are out for blood!

I'm delighted that you have me as the background on your phone Thigh. I know you love me really, even when you're calling me a cockmuncher.

No, I don't think success and fame have changed you. Maybe one day when you're actually successful and famous, then it might. But until then, you're still my little Thigh-cake

And don't let him answer the door to Ocado.......

Shin Shin Shin I feel we are getting nowhere with you