Is Your Life Shit? I can solve all your problems

[pineapplebryanbrown]

I am a kindly non medically trained self appointed internet nurse. I am unfettered by knowledge or training and I run a lovely advice clinic. Please bring me your problems and I will solve them, forever.

Thankx all. Does this advice still count if
a, They are 14 and 13
b, There is no DH apart from ExP

Am following directions none the less and might add loud music to the equation.

Drookit Yes absolutely! Even more so as there is nobody there to challenge your decisions, we can still murder your ExP for funz and japes if you need.

Yes to loud music, it will drown out any demanding children you might have accidentley heard.

Drookit I think you should run away and fake your own death. In the meantime, why not disable the WiFi?

wolf I knew there had to be a use for all those priests!

M3 You must try to accelerate the onset of Megalomania that you will surely catch from thigh after a time around here. That will set you right.

This will ensure that no fucks are given about what silly men-folks think, they shouldn't have opinions of their own in any case, they should just get on with fiddling with car engines and talking about the footy.

OMG just exited my administrative nightmare and found your kind suggestions. Thankyou for reminding me. Ive now started on the random Italien liquors left by my guests. In the immortal words of David Bowie "throw it on the fire end take the car down town ! "

Disable the wifi......rofl (remember that?)
Excellent. The parental guilt shit has gone. Law and Order has started and I'm moving onto Monster Munch to accompany the Prosecco. Many Thanks.

That's the spirit ten you know it makes sense!

See if you can knock together a pint of Winka - Wine/Vodka/Gin it's lovely and will make you far more inclined to follow the late Mr Bowie's advice! Don't actually take the car though after that!

Well done Drookit. We are saving so many from a life of servitude! We are the women who won't!

pooter they come in quite handy from time to time!

M3lon the quote definitely was offensive. Don't worry about those cads.

Thigh I weewy wuv u ♥️

Thighland suddenly got busy. We're going to have to build that conservatory you always wanted, Thigh

I have a naughty but fun terrier and a propensity for monster munch (pickled onion)
Can I join thighland?

As long as you're as naughty and fun as your terrier, Streak. If you're good and boring, just send the dog

Getting !! [heart emoticon] You are yourself again!! Thank fuck for that! thigh !!! Getting is healed!!

Getting is going to put a lime bush in Thigh's new conservatory for your gin, Danga

Welcome streak !!

sniffs Dangly's bum

No no Getting don't get confused again, I sniff your bum !!

Unless of course bum sniffing is your new thing in which case crack on!

Oh I'm thrilled we are having a lime tree, it can be sliced into my Winka!!

Mumsnet keeps invading my phone with purple stripes saying some such about royal baby names. I'm confused again. Do we get to choose the royal baby's name?

Anyone else? Or just me?

If not, why not getting

I vote for Gareth Slanket Myfanwy.

I am not getting that. Are you the chosen name chooser getting?