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Is Your Life Shit? I can solve all your problems

999 replies

pineapplebryanbrown · 01/04/2019 19:07

I am a kindly non medically trained self appointed internet nurse. I am unfettered by knowledge or training and I run a lovely advice clinic. Please bring me your problems and I will solve them, forever.

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DanglyTassles · 03/04/2019 13:05

There! My career should have been in recruitment before I decided to just skive all my life!

ten that is easy to solve; Stop doing anything at all, do not do anything ever again except relax on the sofa and eat snax in this land we call Thigh ! Even if it is your job! (You can still relax at work, just work out a good way to pretend to be working whilst doodling 'art' and shizz)

pineapplebryanbrown · 03/04/2019 13:10

ten there are times in life when you just need a snak n snooze. I've just had one and i feel great. Eat 6 Rich Tea biscuits and have a little kip, you know you want to.

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DanglyTassles · 03/04/2019 13:13

MrShit I thought I few of us were already shagging you round the back of Tesco? Oh dear we are SO lazy we forgot!

pineapplebryanbrown · 03/04/2019 13:14

I have a couple of problems of my own. I feel a little under the weather, chilly and a bit pukey. I've tried to cure myself with fags and Rich Tea biscuits and a couple of naps but I'm still feeling a bit ill, and even a little sad. What's wrong with me?

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MrShintobe · 03/04/2019 13:17

Dangly I don't know who you've been shagging... I only just started my lunch break at 1 ja ja ja.

Wait a second... Are you that mangy dog?

MrShintobe · 03/04/2019 13:17

Thigh a bit of the old Shinnie should cure that ja ja ja

nakedscientist · 03/04/2019 13:18

What is fruit? I'm so confused. My mind is a big tangle with balls hanging from it

Dangly are you a manz?

pineapplebryanbrown · 03/04/2019 13:21

I think it's cos Getting is not here. She repulses me but has become part of me, like a prolapse or fistula. Having another nap, under a blanket this time.

MN said no, they said if they said yes they'd be inundated by requests from all the other long running threads.

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SummerHouse · 03/04/2019 13:27

I am here!! Fresh from recommending microwave drying cloths and wearing slankets!! Not sure that thread understood me but it led me here. To my people. Grin

CarolinePooter · 03/04/2019 13:30

"Après moi le déluge"....(thigh 2019)

DanglyTassles · 03/04/2019 13:31

naked no I am not a manz (except when i was being Brian from Hull of course)

I am a real lady who likes lady things!! That Tangly was an imposter pretending to be me!!

I proved my innocence by providing my username history!

thigh don't you worry, I think Getting will be coming back soon! I sensed her presence last night! Hmm

SummerHouse · 03/04/2019 13:31

Thank you for finding me dangly

This thread is better than I could have dreamt.

CarolinePooter · 03/04/2019 13:32

summer ! Home is here. Settle down and put your feet up.

DanglyTassles · 03/04/2019 13:33

Summer Hurrah!! Welcome!

thigh cheer up quickly, we have a new people, she came from the land of AIBU but the lady was for turning, she is one of us now!

MrShintobe · 03/04/2019 13:37

What's all this about Getting. What's she got that I don't have? Well, if none of you are climbing on, I'll just shag the check out chicks who are coming out for a fag and I'll be on my way

MrShintobe · 03/04/2019 13:39

Did someone mention Vegas earlier? I'll go roll my dice ja ja ja. A bit of the good old poker

DanglyTassles · 03/04/2019 13:45

MrShit we are far to busy doing nothing than to be making the effort to climb onto your member (even though I recall the picture you crayoned of it was impressive!)

So you can ja ja ja off to Vegas thank you very much.

And yes I am sometimes a dog but I am trans-species so not always so you can just bog off with your 'mangy dog'.

I'm a mangy human at times too!

SummerHouse · 03/04/2019 13:48

I used to hang in AIBU... But it is so bloody U. No one has fun there. They just get all angry and mean.

Thigh could your low power level be that you have given too much of your soul to others in the form of solving their problems?

Solutions for you.

Under the weather = Summer is here!!
Chilly = Slanket
Pukey = Luke warm ginger tea and knowledge that you have saved the likes of me from AIBU

M3lon · 03/04/2019 14:08

Yay summer welcome! I love it when a dangly on a wire fishing trip is successful!

Do have some snax!

DanglyTassles · 03/04/2019 14:08

You are a kindly soul Summer you will fit in with us kindly agony Aunties perfectly.

All we do is nothing, eating napping and solve each other's problems, and then when we get bored we just make our own problems for ourselves to solve. It's a lovely life!

PettyLaBelle · 03/04/2019 14:08

LadyCarolineOfPooter I recommend ShitPipe Villas for your legs. See, it sounds like holidays.

pineapplebryanbrown · 03/04/2019 14:09

Summer you have cheered me up! I'm glad you've been rescued, were you being eaten alive? They're so very, very strange in the rest of MN. All we require of you here is that you are slightly incontinent, have dubious morals, enjoy resting and like to snack. Does that sound like you?

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DanglyTassles · 03/04/2019 14:10

Ah here is M3 she is kind and is back from the dead. When she was dead we did have some communication challenges but we managed!

CabbageHippy · 03/04/2019 14:14

thank you Lady Pooter & Thigh - I have been finding myself a little short sighted recently so maybe an Elvis Costello impersonator is the way to go to gain access to the library of spectacles

SummerHouse · 03/04/2019 14:20

Enjoyed resting and liked to snack will be on my headstone. I have very high morals but I hope they are cancelled out by my very low standards? I am not incontinent at all but I have another similar and I think equal issue (it's not poo related).