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Original poster

Is Your Life Shit? I can solve all your problems

999 replies

pineapplebryanbrown · 01/04/2019 19:07

I am a kindly non medically trained self appointed internet nurse. I am unfettered by knowledge or training and I run a lovely advice clinic. Please bring me your problems and I will solve them, forever.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
18
DanglyTassles · 02/04/2019 17:11

But camper van hire? Confused

RabbitseatDogs · 02/04/2019 17:11

Why can't we crochet? Life is certainly unfair sometimes.

DanglyTassles · 02/04/2019 17:13

Shall we market M3's DD's slugs on MN? I'd be pleased to be spammed with those!

DanglyTassles · 02/04/2019 17:14

I think it's just because we are too lazy Rabbit ! I wish we could too, I could do my own slug then!

LadAlive · 02/04/2019 17:15

I must confess that a safety donkey was enticing to me, they look so earnest.
Rabbit I think if Thigh had been online instead of enroute, she may have suggested that you purchase a grey slanket and forget all ideas of frocks.
Point being, you didn't for the wisdom to ooze.
It's ok, I actually said 'Manager' yesterday. Blush
We are all failures in comparison to the Glorious Thigh.

M3lon · 02/04/2019 17:18

DD achieves slugs by doing the basic stitch on a big chunk of yarn then doing the same things to the stitched product with a bigger needle thing (can you tell that crochet isn't my thing?)

I'm not sure I'm describing it well - I can't be or you wouldn't be recommending them as marketable.

morallowground · 02/04/2019 17:19

I have a cut over one of the creases in my hand. I didn’t want to waste anyone’s time by getting it checked however in hind site it was probably a little deeper than could be fixed with Elastoplast. Now I can’t straighten my hand properly as I think the scar tissue is stopping me doing this.
Do I just accept life with a non bendy hand now or admit my stupidity to a doctor and see if they can help me.

DanglyTassles · 02/04/2019 17:19

But it's ok Lad because failure is celebrated here!

So we are all winning really! You just can't lose! 😁

M3lon · 02/04/2019 17:21

moral yup...get thee to a doctor...

or you could spend a month trying to soften it up with olive all and stretches first...before giving up and going to a doctor...

RabbitseatDogs · 02/04/2019 17:22

LadAlive so do you think I've got away with it? 👀

Dangly do you think that's all it is? I'm just a lazy oaf who can't crochet? I'm going to try harder but all attempts look like me dog's been sick after eating caterpillars.

M3lon can we see a picture of your DD's crochet slug? We could start a MLM scheme selling them to each other. We'll all become millionaires Rodney!

DanglyTassles · 02/04/2019 17:23

Moral you could always just chop the whole thing off to save the dilemma! You won't need it much in Thighland! We don't do anything except eat, sleep and solve problems for each other! One hand will do for typing eating and sleeping!

M3lon · 02/04/2019 17:23

Gosh but there is a lot of praying to saint Anthony out there on the boards today. We need to work harder to fill the spiritual void!

morallowground · 02/04/2019 17:25

I’m liking the chopping it off idea that would certainly save me a lot of hassle in the long run Grin

DanglyTassles · 02/04/2019 17:25

Rabbit I'm sure Pooter said she could crochet an amoeba! That's something to aim for!

thislido · 02/04/2019 17:28

Bollocks to bleaching my bumble, I'm doing important missionary work here, keeping people off S&B. Rabbits is one of us now. Those sack dresses are just gateway slankets.

My computer is finding all this missionary zeal exhausting though.

Is Your Life Shit? I can solve all your problems
thislido · 02/04/2019 17:29

moral then you can upgrade to bionic prosthetic hands with go go gadget arms.

RabbitseatDogs · 02/04/2019 17:30

Moral I second cutting it off. Unless you were planning on learning crochet anytime soon? Maybe crochet yourself a new hand first? Or! Blow up a ribber glove and attach that to your severed wrist.

RabbitseatDogs · 02/04/2019 17:32

What's 'significant' though lido. Can you ask your computer to be more specific?

I am now attempting to make a dress from my curtain. With no pattern. I'm certainly living on the edge today. I feel positively wild.

RabbitseatDogs · 02/04/2019 17:34

Lido I know you are doing important work but .... can I pop into S&B just like, occasionally? For a bit?

RabbitseatDogs · 02/04/2019 17:34

Ooh look, I've got three posts in a row! Have I won the lottery?

DanglyTassles · 02/04/2019 17:35

Yes crochet a new hand before you cut off the old hand! Timing is everything!

Brilliant Rabbit ! Great advice skillz! I wish I could crochet a vicar for you!

RabbitseatDogs · 02/04/2019 17:35

No!!!!! I inadvertently made it 4!!!! And now I'm making it 5! I suck.

DanglyTassles · 02/04/2019 17:36

Rabbit you only can if your soul is very robust and not for turning!

RabbitseatDogs · 02/04/2019 17:36

Dangly that's really kind of you but there's one next door so I can just peek out of the window if I feel the need. I don't often to be honest but it's good to know I can if I want.

MrsCatE · 02/04/2019 17:37

Thigh it was a true representation of 'moi' .
I downloaded a free app from S&B to add mirror to your phone that could print out amusing ... oh fuck me sideways . .

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