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Original poster

House guests moan (lighthearted)

252 replies

CoperCabana · 25/12/2018 23:46

Why would you put dirty stuff / cut veg into clean drainer

Why woukd you let your dogs lick the dishes

Why would you sit on your arse all day and complain but do fuck all to help

And breathe...

OP posts:
TheCbeebiesYellowBlobs · 27/12/2018 14:04

Stop leaving drinks on the floor! We have a toddler!

When the toddler is happily playing with his toys, don't keep shoving youtube in his face, especially when it's clear he's not interested (I know, I'm astounded too!)

I know I can't control whether you smoke before coming here, and thank you for not smoking in the house, but oh my god you smell SO STRONG. Even the next day I can smell which rooms you have been in Envy

Nellabella · 27/12/2018 14:18

Oh yes, and stop putting your tea cup on the arms of my sofa-you wouldn't do it at your own house!

Bringbackthestrioes · 27/12/2018 14:25

ellendegeneres who was that? I hope they had to have beans on toast Grin

Frenchlady14 so it was someone you found sexy in the beginning?

We somehow ended up with a couple who have no friends or family willing to accept their company. So, I would have thought it would have been to polite for him to just to swallow the saliva that pooled in his mouth before speaking to me? you sound ready to beat him to a pulp. I hope they are leaving soon.

So many awful and inconsiderate people.

Frenchlady14 · 27/12/2018 14:41

Bringback Yes OLD boyfriend - saw him for three months. This happened every time he stayed - I kept trying to pluck up the courage to tell him - so difficult to bring up. The final straw - after not a good weekend!! So its over - not just because of that, but the last time was the worst Envy

AllTakenSoRubbishUsername · 27/12/2018 14:45

'Shall I take my shoes off?' (Yes, yes YES!) 'Oh, well if they're clean don't worry'. Shoes stay on (I didn't actually fucking mean it, take the hint and notice everyone else's shoes in the hall!!!) Thanks goodness for carpet shampooers!

chemenger · 27/12/2018 14:57

You watch at least two football matches a week but when a guest in a house of football haters do insist on watching Match of the Day but don’t be surprised if everyone else goes to bed.

When you are fully aware that your hostess likes a quiet cup of coffee on her own first thing in the morning, and will get up early to achieve it do not shoot out of bed when you hear the kettle go on. I don’t know how early I have to get up to get that tiny period of peace but now I know that 7am is not early enough. Then, having got up at 7 to keep me company feel free to go back to sleep in your chair at 9.30.

JustUsLot · 27/12/2018 14:58

No DNephew it’s not acceptable after I’ve spent hours preparing a delicious expensive meal for you to sit at my dinner table and pick your nose and wipe it on my best tablecloth, you’re a grown man FFS. And why oh why DSIL sitting next to him did you never correct that sort of behaviour when he was little 🤮.

MadamBatty · 27/12/2018 15:01

I know you brought a bottle of champagne, you drank it yesterday It along with another 5. That’s right 6 bottles of champagne in one day.

No I have no more champagne. Yes I know you brought a bottle yesterday.......

Almondio · 27/12/2018 15:04

Oh dear God thank you for this. YY to ALL of the above. You lot have made my day, 6 days in to an 8 day house guest marathon...My saving grace has been the gym and gin.

chemenger · 27/12/2018 15:07

When I’m in the kitchen almost literally juggling pans, dishes, swapping things around in ovens and going through a mental check list of what needs to be done KEEP OUT. Don’t wander in to rinse a cup out and fumble about in the dishwasher, bring in a satsuma skin to put in the bin, suggest making a cup of coffee, start washing up in the sink while I am draining veg.

JustUsLot · 27/12/2018 15:08

Yes dear uninvited house guest, I have a lot of laundry piled up and no I’m not struggling to keep my house clean, it would have just been nice to know you were coming to stay rather than the ‘lovely surprise’ of you both just turning up out of the blue and expecting an immaculate house (and food to eat)!!

HolyMountain · 27/12/2018 15:10

Just fuck! Who does that Shock?

Izzy24 · 27/12/2018 15:10

Best Christmas thread.

Most of my guests have gone.

Hallelujah 🤶

ChesterGreySideboard · 27/12/2018 15:30

When I’m in the kitchen almost literally juggling pans, dishes, swapping things around in ovens and going through a mental check list of what needs to be done KEEP OUT

I got my mother an apron that has ‘piss off, I’m busy’ embroidered on the front.

speakout · 27/12/2018 15:32

When I have made the effort to cook vegan food for you for a whole month the day before you go home you order a huge dairy ice cream in a cafe.

And scoff the lot.

twilightcafe · 27/12/2018 15:35

BIL has arrived. He's been here for 2 hours, and I'd like to see him on the bottom of the Thames now.

witherwings · 27/12/2018 15:47

@elendegeneres we need an update on the neighbour lunch situation!

Had my MIL and husband to stay for 2 days, they were delightful; helped themselves when they wanted to and stayed out of the way when needed.
Mum came for 2 hours on boxing day and drove me up the wall being argumentative about everything and weirdly showing off with extra posh voice in front of in-laws.

Brugmansia · 27/12/2018 15:52

I asked you a month ago how long you were planning to stay, i think that's enough time to have made a decision and you've been here almost a week now. How about going today?

JustUsLot · 27/12/2018 15:57

Me: DSIL, I made you this lovely delicious vegetarian dish

DSIL: Oh, I’ll just have the turkey as a special treat thanks

Brugmansia · 27/12/2018 16:05

Also it is not helpful when you buy random perishable food that won't be eaten. It just clutters up the already full fridge and goes mouldy.

And, I'm pleased you have plans to go out today. Now can you actually go and let me have some peace rather than dithering for another few hours.

MillicentBeauchamp · 27/12/2018 16:07

and also not being clear about when they might be leaving - comments like "I will go when you have had enough of me...." Honestly? GO NOW!!

JustUsLot · 27/12/2018 16:13

Guests: “We don’t want to outstay our welcome”

Me: [in my head] Well this awkward 😂

BloomsButtons · 27/12/2018 16:18

MIL will not tell me when she's leaving AngryAngry. I need to be far more direct - especially as we need to take her the three hours home!

chemenger · 27/12/2018 16:19

They’re obviously not going to tell you when they are leaving until after you have shopped for the meal to be eaten two hours after they leave.

Ali1cedowntherabbithole · 27/12/2018 16:43

And we know you wake early and like your morning cuppa, but don’t wait, tongue hanging out, until your hosts wake some time later and make it for you. You’ve been visiting us for 30 years, so you know how to make a cuppa in our kitchen by now!

And don't sit in your room coughing, hoping someone will get the hint. Go and make your own tea!