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Original poster

Peter Andre really loves his kids

458 replies

BupcakesandCunting · 14/04/2012 23:15

Peter Andre loves his kids so much that:

  1. If you could measure PA's love for his kids in money, his love would pay off the Greek debt ONE MILLION times over.
  1. If Pete's love for his kids could be converted into electricity, it could light up the United States for sixty centuries.
  1. Pete's love for his kids warmed the heart of Kim Jong Il before his death.
OP posts:
clam · 15/04/2012 14:23

Joyce Maynard Pete once said: "It's not only children who grow. Parents do too. As much as we watch to see what our children do with their lives, they are watching us to see what we do with ours. I can't tell my children to reach for the sun. All I can do is reach for it, myself. (Which is why I am orange)"

babyheave1662 · 15/04/2012 14:24

Pete's love for his kids is so vast that it has it's own Eco system and gravitational pull.

babyheave1662 · 15/04/2012 14:26

In fact, when Pete's love coincides with a full moon, low lying areas are flooded.

Original poster
BupcakesandCunting · 15/04/2012 14:31

Peter Andre loves his kids so much that Pope Benedict is trying to lift sanctions that state that feelings cannot be canonised.

OP posts:
KatieScarlett2833 · 15/04/2012 14:38

Pete loves his kids so much that once, when Princess wanted to eat a hot dog overcooked on her strawberry barbecue, cut his veins to provide "love ketchup".

Not everyone would slice a vein to prove their love on TV, but Peter would, because he loves his kids more than yewwwwwww do ......

Voidka · 15/04/2012 14:40

Peter Andre loves his kids as much as Lisa Scott-Lee hates Claire (and that is unmeasurable).

I went to see Steps this week and Claire was fantastic. They all sang a solo bit where LSL sang one of her own hits Hmm

clam · 15/04/2012 14:52

How do you nominate a thread for MN classics?

SarahStratton · 15/04/2012 15:05

I reported the OP and asked for it to be moved last night, the more of us who do the better. :)

Hassled · 15/04/2012 15:10

When Elizabeth Barrett Browning wrote "How do I love thee? Let me count the ways" she should have stopped right there. No counting was necessary. The answer was "not as much as Pete loves his kids".

When Shakespeare wrote "Love is a spirit all compact of fire", he didn't mean actual fire. He really meant Pete's orange glow.

KatieScarlett2833 · 15/04/2012 15:11

If you look up "PA behaviours" in the dictionary, you will find a huge picture of Pete looking coy, yet sultry and "you love me Junior, Pringles, don't you? more than mummy? DON'T YOU, DONT YOU??????"in a purple sparkly speech bubble.

Then another pic of Pete sulking in the corner, refusing to read them his latest childrens book.........

TalcAndTurnips · 15/04/2012 15:16

EnjoyResponsibly - shit, I'm on fire? Shock

Actually I do take a daily supplement of 500mg of Pete's Love For His Kids? - which is the maximum safe dose. Any more than this and you run the risk of becoming overwhelmed by the Love; you would spend your days drifting around with a sybaritic smile on your face, in a state of permanent bliss. Admittedly this sounds pleasant - but it is not conducive to an efficient life at work and in the home.

If you feel as if you do need a little 'top-up' throughout the day, there is no harm in carrying around a small photograph of the teak-faced super-pater; a quick glance will restore you to full benevolence.

Hassled · 15/04/2012 15:16

When Ria sang "Love is like a butterfly" she was thinking of an orange Aussie butterfly.

DoIgetastickerforthat · 15/04/2012 15:47

The Mayan's are correct. The world will end on the 21st of December 2012. In fact it foretells the moment the universe collapses in on itself because God realises that Pete's love for his kids overshadows His own omnipotent, all powerful love and takes His God particle off to his room for a good sulk.

SuePurblyBusinesslike · 15/04/2012 15:49

Peter's love for his kids is so infinite, even Buzz Lightyear cannot travel beyond it.

SarahStratton · 15/04/2012 16:08

and takes His God particle off to his room for a good sulk.

Bwahahaha. That may be the best yet. Grin

DoIgetastickerforthat · 15/04/2012 16:10

Chris Martin of Coldplay fame is considering changing his Classic ditty 'Yellow' to 'Orange' in homage to Pete's love for his kids.

SarahStratton · 15/04/2012 16:12

Ever wondered why only the orange Smartie is flavoured? Wonder no more.

clam · 15/04/2012 16:13

Erich Segal, who wrote the film 'Love Story,' is considering re-releasing it. He's looking to cast someone for the Ryan O'Neal part...

Hassled · 15/04/2012 16:20

Richard Dawkins has abandoned atheism. That proof he said you couldn't find - well, it's right there in Pete's love for his kids. He's realised the folly of his ways now.

ThatVikRinA22 · 15/04/2012 16:56

it is a little known fact that Stonehenge was built in homage to Petes love for his kids. It was written in the stars, (and ok magazine)

if you listen to the audio tour backwards you can clearly hear the words "yup Pete, you sure do love those kids"

*Judas priest are suing him over the use of the subliminal messages. But Petes love will win.

Original poster
BupcakesandCunting · 15/04/2012 17:03

Peter Andre loves his kids so much that when it rains, it is actually Jesus's tear falling down from heaven as he is sad that he never loved as much as Pete can.

OP posts:
babyheave1662 · 15/04/2012 17:14

The Olympic torch flame is going to be lit using the love Pete has for his kids.

somewherewest · 15/04/2012 17:40

The Orange Order was founded to commemorate Pete's love for his kids

The UN is considering replacing its flag with a picture of Pete hugging his kids. Thousands of copies will then be dropped into conflict zones and war will end.

SarahStratton · 15/04/2012 17:41

The UN is abandoning powder blue, in favour of Andre Orange too.

TalcAndTurnips · 15/04/2012 17:47

The University of FormerPolytechnicshire are to offer, from 2013, a three-year, full-time BSc (Hons) in Pete's Love For His Kids Studies.

The syllabus will include the following:

a) An outline of Pete's Love For His Kids (PLFHK) in a historical context - from the emergence of hominids in the central regions of Africa, through to PLFHK in war and peace in the 20th century

b) PLFHK in art, film and literature - a comparitive study of Peter Andre - My Life against other classic works across the genres, including the works of Francois Truffaut, Munch, Keats and Price

c) PLFHK and international politics - how we can relate and use the example of the walnut-hued modern messiah to solve problems of famine, war and political oppression across the globe

d) PLFHK and us - is it possible for us to quantify what we know about PLFHK and apply the lessons to our own lives? Role-playing and workshops feature in this very popular section of the curriculum

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Being orange is not compulsory, but desirable. Local grants may be available to assist with the purchase of ShowerTan Home self-tanning equipment, plus Mega-Abs 6 minutes-A-Day workout gear to achieve that ripped torso effect.