I’m a professional tantric masseuse AMA

[beatrix1234]

Female, 44, with a background in massage therapy, decided to go into tantric massage 18 years ago. I’ve been doing it ever since and happy to answer any questions you may have. Beatrix.

How long does the average massage last? Do you ever have clients whose happy ending happens rather quickly, like straight away, and if so do you continue with the tantric massage stuff or do you declare the session over?

You haven't answered the question do you have female clients? Do female clients request a happy ending or is it only the men?

Me either - I was a little suspicious at first that OP was going to insist she’s a cut above other happy endings masseuses (I have a couple of friends into tantra, and the amount of mental gymnastics to insist it isn’t wanking is unreal).

But, OP hasn’t done any of that, so no idea why people are being catty.

Agree - horrible bitchiness. People are so triggered and judgemental about any form of unconventional sex..... and become bullying of women around their choices so easily!

AMA should be an opportunity to learn and be curious, not bullying and close-minded and superior!

MN is a real head fuck sometimes. I’ve been on threads where they rip someone to pieces for being a sex worker of any kind and on threads where it’s applauded or at least accepted as a credible job.

For what it’s worth for various reasons I am not 199% happy with any kind of sex work but I appreciate that some do it as it’s an easy option to make money and some women (and men) can separate their work in their minds and make money (I could never do this).

I understand it must be uncomfortable if you’re married to a man, knowing that married men are the most likely to pay for sexual services. However they do so with other men as well as women.

There must be much more to tantric massaging than just making someone orgasm.

I don't think the problem here is that people are being triggered and judgemental. I think the problem is something I'm not allowed to say here.

It’s not unconventional sex, it’s paid for sex - in other words, prostitution. So it’s interesting to ask a woman who prostitutes herself how she justifies it as “therapeutic”.

You're thinking Colin aren't you?

Or Sean Connery?

Some of the comments on here are just downright disgusting. It's an AMA, if you don't have a question then either read in peace or fuck off instead of trying to convince OP that she is a prostitute.

Yes, @DrunkenHandstand , we all get it, you're disgusted by the OP's choice of profession. Well, guess what? It's HER choice, she enjoys it so kindly take your soapbox and moral high ground elsewhere. 🙄

Didn’t you read the part where it’s tantric massage? I think and happy to be corrected that OP got into this as massage initially. She could have learned at 18 and be 35 or could be older or younger than this. I think that basically most of her male clients have got aroused and asked her for “happy endings” - I don’t think she wanks them off spontaneously or does it because she feels pressured into it. Also (I did ask) the payment for massage with a happy ending must be considerably more than for a straightforward massage.

I’m not going to cast aspersions on OP’s previous life as there may be trauma which means this is an acceptable way for her to make a living (with the happy ending that is, not straightforward massage).

some posters here should really take off their judgy pants as OP has answered most questions politely.

@JohnnyYenSetHimselfOnFireAgain You’ve spectacularly missed the point. Bless you. 🤣

@CurlyhairedAssassin When you meet someone outside of your job and they ask what you do, do you just tell them that you're a masseuse? What if they say they're looking for someone and ask if they can have an appointment? Do you just tell them "I specifically do tantric massasage so if that's what you're after I'll book you in."? Because I could imagine that could be quite an awkward conversation with old Beryl from down the road who's looking for someone to help with her stiff back muscles.

My friends and loved ones know what I do, strangers I just tell them I'm a massage therapist, end of. I also do strictly therapeutic massage (non sensual) so if beryl from down the road tells me her back is hurting I'll listen carefully to her on why her back is hurting and probably refer her to a physio, if her back is hurting due to a non important issue (like every day stresses) I might give her an appointment and work strictly on her back addressing the problem. I only take tantric massage appointments from people calling me through my tantra website.

@CurlyhairedAssassin Re: the latex gloves for the genitals. Presumably you don't have gloves on for the rest of the body. How do you go from non-glove wearing massage to snapping the gloves on? Is there a conversation about it? How do you actually phrase it?

If genitals need to be touch I just snap my gloves on, no explanations needed.

@CurlyhairedAssassin Have you ever had a client who misunderstood what tantric massage was? And got a bit of a surprise?

Never, my website is very explanatory and crystal clear, it explains what a tantric massage is. Everyone who enters my practice know what they're getting. I do this on purpose as so there's no misunderstandings.

I think it sounds really interesting.

Do you get clients who've experienced trauma, and need help with recovery?

Do you end up doing talk therapy as well, or is it purely physical?

When you say 'breath work', are you encouraging people to breath in a particular pattern that helps them relax?

No, that's not my understanding. My understanding is it is a massage, that does not treat the sexual organs as untouchable or a sexual reaction as taboo or ugly or unacceptable. It is a very small proportion of the time spent on sex organs. They

Loads of people enjoy these massages in the same way that you would enjoy a normal massage, but who feel more open about the sexual or sensual side. don't just go to get off! As OP says, coming often happens without direct contact with sex organs, or it doesn't happen even if there is contact...

It can be a very beautiful, tender, and enlivening experience and takes skill to learn how to do it properly. The fact that most people have a huge divider line in their minds between sex and non-sex ; permissible sex and bad/to be mocked sex, seems the problem here....

Whether you disapprove or not, I'm not sure why it's necessary to be mean.

I'm single now, but when I had a partner I had no problem at all with him getting a tantric massage. It never made me jealous or insecure in any way because I know what is involved. I believe women should never feel insecure because her partner went for a tantric massage, but that's just me and I understand peoples boundaries may differ.

Am I or am I just calling out shitty behaviour ? You can think what you like about me your opinion doesn't matter to me

Am I or am I just calling out shitty behaviour ? You can think what you like about me your opinion doesn't matter to me

Yet you replied.🤣

I'm also interested in how it works with women... lots of PPs have focused on the happy endings/wanking off of men.. with women is it... I mean, I guess you don't get as many women coming in specifically for the happy ending? Or do you?

I agree. Mumsnet admin need to clamp down on this.

I've also had abusive comments because I called out someone for being unnecessarily nasty and I can't possibly be a woman! ;)

how many of your clientele are female?

If you have females are they heterosexual? Do many of them climax? Feel embarrassed?

I just can’t picture any women I know going for this sorta thing. I’d be so embarrassed haha. No judgement! Very curious!

I’m thinking T-Rexing, for anyone who remembers back that far.

Loving the Brian references.

@pickledandpuzzled Do you get clients who've experienced trauma, and need help with recovery?

I do, problem is my background and training is in massage therapy and despite having done many tantra courses I'm not trained as sexual councillor, I can help with things like ED, premature ejaculation issues, depression, relaxation techniques with someone going through a very difficult period etc... and every day sexual issues, but I'm definitely not trained to deal with serious trauma and if this is the case I don't take the client and immediately refer the client to a psychologist specializing in sexual trauma.

@pickledandpuzzled Do you end up doing talk therapy as well, or is it purely physical?

It's mostly physical, but I do end up sometimes engaging in talk as to how to handle certain issues and improving sex life with their partner.

@pickledandpuzzled When you say 'breath work', are you encouraging people to breath in a particular pattern that helps them relax?

Yes, mostly through diaphragmatic breathing. I deal with some very stressed out individuals. I teach them how to go into a state of very deep relaxation and get in touch again with their bodies.

No, I haven't, far from it. You're frothing at the mouth at OP's choice of profession and you're falling over yourself in your bid to make your feelings known. Bless you.