ex prostitute here ask me anything

[Opheliah]

Has this one been done yet?

I am not Belle de Jour.

NC I was a sex worker for 10 yrs and if OP does not mind would also like to answer some of the questions.

How did I become involved?
I became a working girl in my mid thirties, I was working for a large firm as a project manager. Had a nervous breakdown took leave for 3 months, left my husband, moved in wig a friend who was an escort. I had no children at this time due to stress.

Tried it one night after been asked by one of her clients who liked curvy women and took to it like a duck to water.

Went back to work continued working evenings and weekends. Handed in my resignation after 3 months back and became a fill time scarlet woman.

I enjoyed the diversity of the sex and the money was good.

I was and independent so my own boss. I registered as self demoted and paid my taxes accordingly.

Women do contact you yes but I am strictly sickly.

Weirdest request?

A gorgeous guy who liked to be tied up and scratched all over and teased but no sex.

A Scotsman who like to be boxed and wrestled.

A Scotsman who liked to be tied up and fed weird food combos.

A guy who liked his Willy bitten and stamped on.

A guy who just wanted me to lie there and make out I was sleeping. We called him the sleeping beauty guy.

The guy who liked you to smear make up all over your face especially red lipstick while he wanked. We called him the clown.

The guy who just wanted to sniff your dirty bumhole.

Oh the list is long.

Violence?

It depends on whether you give them the impression you are vulnerable.

But yes I was robbed at knife point once but got the guy arrested as I remembered everything about him down to his tattoo and the idiot came to see me in his works van.

Do they talk about their wives?

Yes they do but with great affection most of the times. Some men even though they see working girls do it out of sexual frustration or if hey have a link they like to experience but too embarrassed to discuss with wife.

There would be guilt at times yes.

How much did I charge and where did I work?

I had a working flat that I shared with another lady and I toured the country using self service apartments or hotels.

30min £80
1hr £120 when at home - 150 when touring
Overnight bookings for 8hrs £600

Mild domination bookings depended on the requests which could vary from body worship them on you to spankings.

Did I ever orgasm?

God yes! Most guys are really good at oral sex but penetratively no.

Should clients be criminalized according to feminists?

No, most of bus are not from abusive backgrounds, most are single mom's supporting their children. There are a lot of professional women who dabble in this purely for the thrill. You also have your young girls who want to be the next belle du jour and unfortunately are very irresponsible in the industry.

We are all grown ups doing this out of our own free will but yes unfortunately there is a lot of girls not as fortunate as us who are trafficked or managed as they like to call it these days. But he government refuse to work wig us to combat this and instead continues to put all our lives at risk.

Feminists do not have the right to speak for me or my sister's and we are very much a sisterhood because he industry is so isolating.

Hope that helps. Sorry for barging in OP. If I can think of any more I will post more unfortunately my phone baťery is about to run out. Xx

Sorry my replies are not in order!

did a woman ever book in to see you or were all the clients male?
I never once had a female book in to see me but I had lots of bookings from men wanting to book two of us girls to interact.

How much did you charge? Where did you do the deed?
So in sauna/massage parlours usually client pays £45 on entrance and split half to the WG half to the house.
I'd usually make 10 jobs a day so £200ish.

Or client pays £60 on entrance WG gets £20 for first job £30 for second job £40 for third job then £50 for all subsequent jobs.

Escort agencies was client pays £120 for an hour £50 to WG £50 to house and £20 to driver.
Sex parties you get paid fat rate of £140 per party but you commit to three a day.

So earnings vary.

@BonnieF yes unfortunately there were quite a few of them but they also felt they did not want to bother their wives as hey knew they were tired.

It is just sex there was never any emotions involved.

Hello Nonyabizness welcome!
I currently have a vivacious 3 yr old in need of attn but would love to chat later x

Did you ever tell your families what you did for a living?

Just a small point re orgasm and finding your partner attractive. Orgasm can be solely a physiological response to stimulation and may not be a sign that the woman is ‘enjoying’ the sex or attracted to the other person. Women who have been raped or sexually abused and assaulted have experienced orgasm and have a lot of shame and guilt around it, worrying that it means they somehow ‘wanted’ it or enjoyed it. Sometimes orgasm is just a thing the body does and isn’t connected to emotions at all.

Sorry, I know that’s not really linked to your thread or your point OP, specifically but I just wanted to mention it.

Some feminists believe that men should be prosecuted for using prostitutes and that sex work can never been seen as a legitimate job

In the words of Fiona Broadfoot, "it's not sex and it's not work". I actually support the Nordic model because it makes prostitution safer. But in the past I would have been horrified by the thought and been all for full legalisation. The realities of fully legal prostitution are grim in practice.
I am a bit of a "feminist" now.

I knew someone who claimed that WG would prefer to have a client like him, who tried to give her pleasure too, to one who was just out for his own pleasure: what's your opinion on this?

They all say this, every single punter, every single time, all say this about themselves. They insist on making sure the WG has the same if not more pleasure than they do.

They ask "what do you like? How can I make you come? Tell me how to pleasure you" so you say whatever and fake a dramatic orgasm, then they leave thinking they've been some sex god. It's part and parcel of the job.

Your friend is no different to these other punters "just out for their own pleasure" he is trying to prove something to himself, you can't actually coerce an orgasm out of someone.

Hi @Opheliah not that I am blasting you but I can not believe that you would support a system that has actually put more girls lives in danger. Can is so why do you support It?

I was lucky enough to have known Laura Lee who actively fought against it in the Irish courts and actually won the right to take it to the European courts of law. But unfortunately them to her untimely death that is now on the back burner.

The nordic model has only done one thing and that is drive prostitution further under ground and unfortunately forced ladies particularly Sweden and northern Ireland where it has been imposed to take even more risks.

The nordic model in itself is ridiculous as there is no way that it can be policed. Unless they station a police car in front of every working girls house 24/7 to catch a client out.

It would be more counter productive to work alongside wg's to eradicate trafficking. Rather than vilify and shame is which ultimately stops a lot of girls from reporting crimes to the police.

Prostitution helped me and as such many other women out there to support ourselves and our children and provided me with bein able to be a fulltime mom to my DD. It made me stronger mentally, have me confidence to love my body when we have a society who tries to shame you for be in different and it provided me with financial stability.

I am not saying that the sex industry is for everybody as it is not. You have to be strong mentally especially when a man shows up and says thanks but no thanks and then insults something about you. You have to be able to brush thingsnlike that off.

You also have to deal with a lot of professional jealousy.

There are so many things you have to be careful off but trying to criminalise it is not the way forward as you will only push it under ground and you will only have the seedy darker side to deal with.

If society is so concerned with the trafficked and abused girls then they need to focus on that and deal with it ensure that we girls can report such incidents or clients we are concerned about.

Yes here are girls who abuse their sexual powers and take the piss and give the industry a bad name. And those you see on television or read about in magazines or newspapers are such a small percentage and they are predominantly attention seekers and definitely not he correct representation of the majority of us.

Apologies for the grammar and punctuation.

I agree with opheliah it is part and parcel of the job, hence why you create a different persona.

You do find the guys who assume they are sex gods and you do find some guys who are actually able to give you same good orgasm.

But it is an act majority of the time as your repeat clients are the ones who keep you going when it is quiet.

I did enjoy my time as a wg and there were times when I did not but they were far and between.

Nonyabiz
A guy who liked his Willy bitten and stamped on
I forgot I had a guy who liked his willy to be bitten like properly clenched between the teeth that was weird.

@opheliah I even had a few clients who enjoyed ball busting. 😣

Where the Nordic Model has been implemented, it has virtually eliminated street work which is the most dangerous and exploitative type of sex work, hugely reduced trafficking which again brings in the most vulnerable women, but it hasn't harmed independent escorts or discreet establishments at all.

The nordic model in itself is ridiculous as there is no way that it can be policed

It's policed on informer basis. If a client pisses you off you get their number or numberplate, or email/IP adress and all you need to do is prove they paid for sex, you don't need to prove anything else. The power balance is completely turned on it's head. The police don't park up outside all establishments they let them run. It's not an abolishionist legislation.

It basically prevents men from abusing prostitutes (because if they try anything you can shop them) but doesn't stop prostitutes making money. What's bad about that?

All of the many faces on Ugly Mugs would simply be arrested rather than free to abuse your fellow "sisters".

Did you ever bump into a client somewhere mundane like the dentist with their family?

If so what was their reaction when they saw you?

TMI How do you handle the longer and/or girthier man without doing some damage? I'm assuming that foreplay wouldn't be much on the agenda and no amount of lube would ease the discomfort that a cervix stabbing, rough encounter could provoke. Do men demand the rough kind of sex they see in porn or were they mostly respectful and considerate?

Ophelia - thanks, this is really interesting.

Yes there are girls who abuse their sexual powers and take the piss and give the industry a bad name.

Can you explain what you mean by this? As I don't understand.

Sorry for any confusion - my question was to nonya.

This thread is really illuminating, thank you. I've long been mulling my feminist opinion on prostitution (coming at it as a former lap dancer) and it's great to hear two well-informed, well-articulated opinions; and two interesting personal stories to boot.

Did you ever bump into a client somewhere mundane like the dentist with their family?

Yes
It's like if our eyes meet the world will combust so discretion, discretion.

Although once a young client had the "discretion" to shout out from his car
"Are you working tonight I wanna see you!" and that was just bad for me.

Can you/do you ever reject a punter because they're just too rank.

@Opheliah we will agree to disagree where it comes to the Swedish/nordic model. No idea where you found that it reduced streetwalkers and trafficking because if you saw he actual statistics it has not unfortunately.

Hi OP were you ever scared and got a really bad feeling/vibe from a man, that made you back away? If so, how did you handle it?

How did you stay safe, in general?

What do you hate most about it?

@WomanWithAltitude just as many people feel that girls are victims you will find that there are just as many men who are victims to unscrupulous wg's.

Unfortunately here are a lot of lonely men out there who will fall for the tricks. You will be amazed at how many clients are physically abused, robbed, blackmailed and just taken advantage of by wg's and their so called boyfriends.

Trust me the only reason you do not hear about it is because men have a lot more to lose by reporting it.