Retired lap dancer- ask me anything

[yourprivatedancerEX]

It’s not something I tell new people I meet that for 10 years I used to be a very successful lap dancer. I have a very different career now but often reminisce about my secret lap dancing past, always with fond memories!
I think it’s still something that is frowned upon by many and in my view I think that’s largely down to being misunderstood. So if any of you have any questions I will answer them and hopefully give you some interesting insight into the secret world of lap dancing! Ask away.

Hi OP,
Did your employer take a big cut of your takings, or was it reasonable?
Curious because I had an audition at a club when I was younger but they wanted such a large percentage I decided against it.
Did you ever get bored of having to wax/shave all the time?

Caribbean

Thank you for your kind comment!

Well I won’t go into much more detail than this but I am engaged to a lovely man and no children yet but one on the way

I have qualified in coaching and training delivery and currently provide corporate training to executives and senior leaders of companies on subjects such as improving staff engagement, team management and effective leadership.

So yes very much ‘just a dancer’ as jade kindly pointed out upthread

Boulty I’ve detailed that upthread

Biblio

Different clubs were different. Some charged a door fee only, others took up to 30%

Some probably charge even more, but they can generally only get away with that if the girls know they will make good money there otherwise they just wouldn’t pay it.

What did your outfit usually consist of (colour/material/cleavage showing etc)?

Did you ever date someone in the clubs? Not a client but a bouncer, DJ etc?

Any funny stories you can tell us?

OP it wasn't you who was labelled thick but the 'simperers' and the 'fawners'.

Ah sorry thanks - just joined the thread and don't have time for 25 pages - grabbing a quick cup of tea

just a dancer
That makes me really cross. I might have my own opinions on morality and and social responsibility. And they might not entirely gel with lap dancing as a choice of career. But I hate the fact that any person has to justify themselves by telling us they have/are/can hold down a 'clever' job. Nobody is just an anything, even if they make the crassest job choice in someone's opinion and couldn't pass a primary school spelling test, nobody here has the right to make assumptions on the rest of their life or character.
Feminism takes many forms. But sadly snobbery does too.

Rant over.

Also for the “just a dancer” people, there’s a girl doing a chemistry PhD, a university lecturer (she does it on weekends and some nights), a girl studying to be a nurse and many others doing various degrees. There are also those not doing any degrees, that doesn’t make them “thick” or any less than other people. Would you say the same about people who are “just” teachers? I mean they normally don’t have a PhD and aren’t doctors or lawyers. Or what about nurses? Not quite a doctor I guess. Where does your line of someone being good enough get drawn?

Noughties

Different outfits for different clubs. Some clubs had a rule where you had to wear floor length dresses before midnight and then if you wanted to change into some thing more revealing after midnight you could.

I had several floor length dresses that split up the side of the leg. I had basques and bodices, leotards of lots of colours and fabrics.

I never dated any bouncers or djs or anyone from the clubs no. I didn’t like to mix work and personal life.

Funny stories...
I once fell side ways out of a booth. We were creatures of habit so where we could we would all use our ‘favourite booth’ mine was on the left with the curtain opening on the right. I used this almost every time in one club. One time it wasn’t free so I had to use another that had the opening on the opposite side. Mid dance I put my hand out to the wall to steady myself but the wall wasn’t there and I fell out of the booth!

One guy said he didn’t agree with lap dancing (not sure why he came in the club) and said he thought I was a nice girl and he didn’t think I should have to dance that night so paid for 4 hours of vip but didn’t actually want to sit in with me so me and my friend sat and chatted by ourselves all night and got paid for it.

I’ll see if I can think of some more. I sure there will be loads!

I hope you don’t mind me chiming in by the way OP? I just read the thread and thought it was great that so many people were actually interested in the work we do / have done, and that there were actually a good few lap dancers commenting.

Many of the 'just dancers' at the club my niece works at are dancing to fund their under graduate and post graduate degrees.

How are the men managing to get through their degrees without taking their clothes off?

Happy stripper

Gosh no not at ALL. I am loving your contributions to the thread- please do continue!

Great! Thanks private, I really love that you started the thread!

Do you think that your line of work perpetuates a culture in which women are objectified and dehumanised, and therefore will continued to be sexually molested, abused and violated?

No, I don't. Men who rape, molest and abuse will do so regardless. That's not on me or any other dancer, that's down to them being rapists, molesters and abusers.

I am married to a bouncer from my club. Most clubs have a "don't date the dancers" policy. Dancers and staff who were in a relationship were not allowed to work on the floor together.

I worked in clubs that were mainly "gowns" before 12, so a long skirt (could be sheer, split etc but had to be below knee. And then anything after 12 as long as nipples and vagina were covered on the floor (main club area) . What I wore depended on how I was feeling that night.

Hmm funny stories

When I just started I did my first double dance (two girls for one guy). It was going great and most of it was us fondling each other’s boobs with very overemphatic oohs and aahhs. Suddenly I felt something weird and pretty much jumped out of my seat (or I guess lap). Turns out she had fake boobs so it was just the scar under her underboob area. I’d never really seen fake ones in person and ones on tv etc. seem to be very fake looking so I didn’t realize that hers were anything but natural.

One guy paid me to spit in his mouth (from up high so no touching etc) for $40 a round.

We’ve definitely got some coke use in the club though it’s kinda common as it’s a party town anyway so not so much due to the club. I was in the dressing room and one girls is furiously looking for something
Kitty “I can’t find my coke, I left it here but I can’t find it!”
Alice “oh yeah, I found it in the bathroom and handed it to Jamie (the manager)”
Kitty “do you think he’ll give it back to me if I ask nicely?”
Everyone looks in shock

The club is actually pretty hard on drug use as the whole club can be shut down, same with underage drinking (drinking age is 21 so you can work but not drink).

Ooh another one. One guy had an obsession with planes. Every Saturday he would spend the day at the airport watching and taking photos of planes. Then Saturday night he would come to the club, book an hour vip and literally spend the whole hour showing me and talking me through all these different planes. It went on for months. At first I loved it because it was such easy money but after a few months I ended up palming him off onto one of the other girls because I just couldn’t take the plane stories anymore

@yourprivatedancerEX I can imagine - only so long you can fake fascination

"How are the men managing to get through their degrees without taking their clothes off?"

Moonkissed, probably by doing other part time jobs which likely only pay a fraction of what dancing does

Very interesting and enlightening thread, OP.

Reading through the thread, it’s very noticeable that the most measured, balanced, open-minded and informative posts come from the OP and the other current or former dancers contributing. Thank you all.

The posts which exude intolerant, dismissive, self-righteous, judgemental disdain and contempt for other women’s lived experiences all come from the radical feminist posters who have absolutely no first-hand experience of the lap dancing industry whatsoever. Those posters also react very negatively when their ignorant, ill-informed, closed-minded preconceptions are challenged.

Interesting contrast, isn’t it?

Clothes wise my stuff is pretty different. I wear a g string, a nylon stripper one. Either then put panties or a thong on top as you have to have double bottoms as a state ordinance or the g string is double strapped on the sides as that also meets the code. Then I wear a nice bra or bralette.

I started out wearing complicated outfits with garters and stockings and basques but honestly realized they’re more hassle than they’re worth and I make more money with the simple stuff.

Mostly in my club it’s lingerie style things though rather than obvious stripper garments. In contrast, the fully nude club that has a more urban and stage heavy vibe wear more strippers stuff with sling shots (like a thong with straps extending up to very slightly cover your boobs).

I was a dancer for 8 years, only 3 nights a week while I was at college and then while I was building up my business.
I left when I was 28 and I have lots of fond memories and made lots of money :)
Same as you the bond with all the girls is fab and one of the girls is still my best friend

I met my husband there and we've been together 11 years now.

I don't regret a minute of it xx

No, I don't. Men who rape, molest and abuse will do so regardless.

I disagree. Men rape, molest and abuse because they have been brought up to see women as subhuman, as decoration for their pleasure, as not people but as something to put their dick into, to overpower, to intimidate.

That is the society we live in. Now obviously there are many many factors at play here, but I don't think the fact there is a place in pretty much every town in the UK there is a club where men can go and buy a naked woman that they don't know so they can get a lapdance solely for their pleasure, is completely unrelated and discrete in that society.