Retired lap dancer- ask me anything

[yourprivatedancerEX]

It’s not something I tell new people I meet that for 10 years I used to be a very successful lap dancer. I have a very different career now but often reminisce about my secret lap dancing past, always with fond memories!
I think it’s still something that is frowned upon by many and in my view I think that’s largely down to being misunderstood. So if any of you have any questions I will answer them and hopefully give you some interesting insight into the secret world of lap dancing! Ask away.

Sorry not sure why that posted 3x

I used to pay a house fee which would range from £40/50 on a Monday night to £200 on a Saturday with a sporting event going on. The bouncers were paid £12 or so an hour. The management take a wage. The waitresses and bar staff on minimum wage plus tips.

I always viewed it as a symbiotic relationship. I needed the club, the club needed me. I was an average/high earner. I could take home upwards of £2k a night. I could also take home nothing. The incentive is to find the customer and extract the money. Money comes from private dances (starting at £20) VIP dances (longer time, at £50-200) and sit down prices (£300+ per hour). Commission was taken from the VIP dances upwards. Clubs would get girls who would turn up, sit on their arse all night and expect to be paid if you were paying a wage. Sometimes, if it had been a bad run of nights, I'd be annoyed with having to pay house fees. Most of the time, it wasn't as issue for me. I tipped bouncers and the DJ. They in turn would tell me if big spenders were on their way in so I could be ready and first in.

Still following this very interesting thread and mulling it over.
Wondering why women don't spend money on strip clubs/ lap dancers but women do.
The experts say men don't find looking as stimulating as men do, men are more visual and all that. No idea if it's true, as I'm not a man, but as a woman I get some pleasure out of seeing some men's bodies, and if they move in the right way I think it can be quite erotic. maybe a lot of them are crap at moving though if they think they know what a woman finds erotic
A night out with the girls watching the Chippendales - never tried it but not averse to the idea, would think it would be fun. And yes I would care that the blokes were being treated right and happy to do it.
But the bigger context of 'women paying for sex' - even a one on one dance to get turned one - and I can hear the voice of society saying, 'only someone desperate who can't pull a fella would do that' - I don't actually buy into the idea but I know so many people who would think that way - more from the long-term power balance thing and the fact that a fair few women still feel that they need to compete in the attractiveness stakes.

Just some very loose thoughts while I scoff my lunch.

umm that was supposed to be crossing out not underlining oops

bugger I got my women and men mixed up as well, too much scoffing whilst typing, I presume you'll get the gist

Strip I appreciate your honesty, and your acknowledgment that the industry is part of the problem.

What was your favourite music to dance/strip to?

Oh yeah, we all chose our own stage tracks to dance too that fit our persona. I had a handful that I would get the dj to use depending on what the atmosphere was like, how busy it was, what we were wearing, what time of the evening it was. I always started the night quite sultry, got more upbeat and clubby at the busy times then got a bit sillier towards the end of the night.

Any favourite tracks?

I literally love hearing my old dancing songs when then come on these days. Favourite tracks include Mason vs Princess Superstar - Perfect [Exceeder], Alex Gaudino - Destination Unknown (Destination Calabria), Sublime - Caress Me Down, Gwen Stefani - Hollaback Girl; and for the last stage show of the night (I was always up for the last stage show) I'd do No Doubt - Don't Speak followed by Ash - Girl from Mars. Like I say, you could have a bit of fun by the time you made it to kicking out time :)

Did any of the guys have special requests for particular music or special moves etc?

No, but the other girls weren't a fan when I would dance to Pendulum's Black Tarantula; apparently not everyone thinks it's a particularly sexy song :P

Absolutely the entire sex industry is part of the problem waterlego the bit I find most mentally gymnasticy is this..

I was absolutely happy to dance, enjoyed it, miss the cameraderie and the cash. I never felt objectified or pressured. And my experience is generally a positive one, same as most of the other dancers.

What I absolutely and definitely acknowledge is that strip clubs, along with the entirety of the sex industry is part of a misogynistic society, one where someone (anyone, although the bulk of the customers are men) can buy a peep at a naked woman for a few minutes all the way up to procuring a woman for sex. But you (general you, not you individually) are never going to do is successfully remove an industry where women who enjoy their job and the money and opportunities it brings without replacing it with something of equal value.

Someone said unthread ( can't remember who) that the dancers they'd met would never have done it if they could use their brains, and I'd disagree. Whilst you don't need to be a rocket scientist, you certainly need to be a skilled salesperson) and part of what I personally enjoyed was getting the big sales, the 'yes!' moment as the payment went through. There are jobs I could have done involving sales, which would probably have granted me some of the same income. I still chose to dance.

PrivatedancerEx, such an interesting thread. Sorry but not surprised to see that it's been derailed a bit here and there.

I can't find the post now but the poster who mentioned that men feel they have the right to comment on a woman's body... well she can't possibly have seen the myriad threads here with women doing just that, nastily, jealously and quite obsessively.

Some people - male and female - think they're entitled to judge other women's bodies. No difference really, equally vile.

Rat the last stage show of the night was always silly. Bloodhound gang, bad touch was always a laugh But my pole song is still sacred to me, always will be, whenever I hear it. So weird but such fond memories!

How often would a woman pay for a dance?

Don’t be silly Henry

I didn’t have to do it to get through uni. I did it because I wanted to and enjoyed it.

Don’t be silly Henry

I didn’t have to do it to get through uni. I did it because I wanted to and enjoyed it.

Large glass oooh your question about songs has reminded me of another funny story!

It was just Past midnight and therefore had just turned April fools. The dj decided to play a trick on the girls and without warning played that song “your mums got a penis” if you’ve never heard of it then YouTube it!

So we were all mid dance in the booths dancing to some nice slow, easy song to dance to and suddenly mid dance it switched to that song! All you could hear was laughter and shock coming from all the booths.

It was a good trick and very funny!

Large glass oooh your question about songs has reminded me of another funny story!

It was just Past midnight and therefore had just turned April fools. The dj decided to play a trick on the girls and without warning played that song “your mums got a penis” if you’ve never heard of it then YouTube it!

So we were all mid dance in the booths dancing to some nice slow, easy song to dance to and suddenly mid dance it switched to that song! All you could hear was laughter and shock coming from all the booths.

It was a good trick and very funny!

Strip I appreciate your honesty, and your acknowledgment that the industry is part of the problem.

Oops not sure why my posts are coming through twice today.

Sorry about that!

It's not just you yourprivate, it's loads of posters on every thread I'm on at the minute! Guess it must be an MN issue.

Sorry, didn’t mean to post that twice!

Sorry, didn’t mean to post that twice!

😆

@waterlego

Also, totally irrelevant and unimportant but I really dislike the use of ‘hating on’ which i have seen on this thread. Hate does not need a preposition, just stop it.

That made me laugh!!!

From what I understand from this thread, the dancers (women) first pay a fee to be let in the door, a fee each and every time they want to work.

That's exactly how much of the beauty industry works, especially hairdressing. They pay for the chair, then a percentage of the charge for the treatment.

Yes, a make up artist hires a stand, a craftsperson hires a stall a barber hires a chair, a dancer hires club space. That's simplified, also the make up artist's money goes toward the custom, toilets, facilities of whatever building etc.

A dancer's fee goes toward the security, music, customers, changing facilities etc etc. Much self employment works this way.

I would be very interested to as the OP the following questions

What percentage of the women working as lap dancers were enthusiastic about yoga?

What percentage of the women working as lap dancers were enthusiastic about new age beliefs e.g. astrology, tarot cards etc.

What percentage of the women went on to train as a life coach or some variant thereof.

obviously I don't expect a completely accurate statistical breakdown, just a rough estimate

thanks

You can ask me why I'm asking if you like